Hi All, Im New to this site so I dont really know how any of this works, I guess im just putting my thoughts down and telling my story.
Im a 23 year old young man with a gambling addiction. It feels weird actually accepting it and saying it out loud as I wrote that. Ive been Gambling for about 4-5 years now and its just been a downward spiral for me I guess. It started out as normal just a few quid here and there when I was walking past the local bookmakers. then it became more frequent and of course....more money, higher bets and higher spins on the roulettes. Then it got to the point where I was gambling online to hide it from my parents. My dad gambles but he dosent gamble a lot and what he does gamble is what he can afford to loose, and he DOSENT gamble on the FOBTS. I guess I should take a page out of his book, but unfortunatley it has gotten to the point where I can not control my gambling anymore. Its all I think about. Living from payday to payday because I cant control myself. It was about a year ago I realised I had a serious problem with Gambling and just recently is when I hit rock bottom and took out a loan I shouldnt have, Fortunatley I have been able to pay it off but thats when it finally hit me that I need help and I shouldnt be pondering with the idea that I may have a gambling problem when infact I DO have a gambling problem, so I have accepted that and thats why at 1:10am in the morning im sat here writing this. I know I need to change and I know it will be the start of a new life for me, I mean dont get me wrong I never Gamble away money that is owed out for bills ect.... But its just I see people my age buying new cars, new clothes and stuff and I cant because Ive wasted all my spare money on gambling. Not only does it affect me but it affects others around me who I care about and love the most. especially my Mum,dad,sister and Girlfirend, dont get me wrong my mum and dad have never been the richest of people but they are good hard working people who have always worked hard for there money and I love and care about them both and I know deep down they are worried about me and it breaks my heart Knowing that Im hurting them like that. I mean my Girlfriend wants to go on trips/Holidays like any other girl would want to our age and Shes suffering aswell because I cant afford to do any of them things because of my gambling. She has stood by me through alot telling her all the times Ive wasted my money on gambling. Call me young stupid nieve and in love but I know she is someone special because shes making me want to change for the better aswell. I love them all dearly and they deserve this but I know its going to be a selfish thing to say but I deserve this too. Of course Im doing this for them but the main reason Im doing this for me. I want a better life I want to be able to buy designer clothes and not worry how much it costs. All I want is to pretty much be living a life someone my age should be. I guess what Im saying is that this is the start of a new chapter in my life, for the better. I know its not going to be easy there will be good days and there will be bad days. but all I have my eyes set on is the end goal a Gambling free life.
I dont really know how to end this but I guess if youve made it this far then thankyou for taking time out your day to listen to my story, I dont know if you can comment on these things but if you can and you do comment then thankyou. means a lot that my voice has been heard. I dont even know if you can private message on this but if your a young Lad like me then please get in touch because I know what your going through and Ill help the best I can. These forum topics seem like a great tight knit group and you all seem so supportive.
Thankyou
Adam
Stopping is one of the hardest things out there believe me I know I've tried lots of times but good luck in doing that
I do believe that you can do it. Goodluck
Hi Adze,
Welcome to the site and well done for laying it all out there...i know how difficult that can be. You will see on this site that there are oads of people in similar or worse situations than you find yourself. Personally i was 50k in debt but the money is not the real issue.
You have made a great start by coming on here but its time to put some pratical things in place to assist you on your journey.
Get onto those sites and go into the bookies and self exclude from them for life.
Do you have anyone who could look after your finances for you? Or you could order a new card and get someone to scratch the 3 numbers off the back so you cannot yes it to bet online.
Finally and for me most importantly why dont you try some free councelling or attending a GA at some point. What have you got to lose? There are lots of succesfull stories on here and its up to you what path you choose to follow.
Anyway i wish you well with it all.
Damo
Goo lluck Adam ! Make sure youre upfront an honest with everyone around you as you'll need support to get you through this speaking from my experience.
I never told my girlfriend about my gambling and she found out worst way possible.
Good luck. You can do it! I'm nearly at my two week mark now without a bet of any kind and without an urge.
I know they'll come but this forum will help when they do.
The hardest bit about being a gambler is admitting you've got a problem!
Hi Adam, just to re-iterate what others have said, the first and in my opinion most important step to recovery is acceptance. Actually admitting to yourself (and others) that you cannot control your gambling. Unfortunately a couple of my close friends haven't yet done this even to this day after 7/8 years of gambling and they won't get over this illness until they do so. Now you've done that you're ready to fight this properly. And you have to pat yourself on the back for that because it's not easy! It's us acknowledging weakness but it's for the best.
Reading your story is scarily similar to mine, I too suffer on the FOBT's and it'd only started with a few quid on the football. Also my dad gambles to this day and has done every Saturday on the horses for 40 years however he has said to me he's never ever bet more than his weekly amount that he's set himself and can afford. I find it very difficult to understand how a father and son can be wired so different betting wise but at the end of the day that's how it is.
I'm not going to lie to you, this process won't be easy but one thing I would say is don't beat yourself up about it. I too have seen in the past how I've worried and upset my parents with my gambling but although I take responsibility for my actions, always remember you never did it to hurt them on purpose. Be aware of the fact you need to change but give yourself a break and don't feel guilty. Harbouring the pressure of doing it for them can be too overwhelming so you'd be right to do it for yourself.
Last thing, I would seriously consider handing over control of your card and money to your parents. This may feel like treating you like a kid but trust me in the long run it can make the difference. My dad held my card from me turning 22 for 3 years and I've only just got it back in February but it allowed me to deal with my issue without temptation of being able to blow my wages, and it's set me up in the best possible way now.
For me today is a testing day, cup final day and sun's out. I'd love to have a few drinks and have a bet on the footy but we all know what that "one" bet can turn into.
Good luck and all the best.
Shaun
Hi Adze115
Welcome to the forum and thank you for posting and sharing your story.
I can see you have had good responses and wanted to let you know that for online gambling there is blocking software available for your devices. Please see the link below which offers a variety of blocking software to choose from, and block yourself for up to a year from all sites. Some of the software is free.
http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/blocking-software#.VCA52fldXww
Hope this helps and all the best with your recovery
Regards
Cade
Forum admin
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
