Always light at the end

Hi all. I have come through the cycle of gambling addiction. I moved on with my life and wanted to just bury it. I realised that keeping my story to myself is a complete waste. I was prompted by the recent news re the banning of gambling on credit cards..which I wish had happened years ago. 

 

I’m 36. My gambling started in 2006 and finished in 2018. That’s 12 years of something controlling my finances, sleep, mood swings and most importantly...the quality of life with loved ones. I want to say that it is the most destructive addiction out there. I always only gambled on football matches, constantly chasing losses. 

 

The bit I hate to think about is how many experiences in life were tainted by gambling. For example, meals out with my wife where I was secretly checking my phone under the table for football scores. Or those catch ups with friends where your actually looking over their shoulder at the sports screens. Your only there in body. But now spin it the other way, I now enjoy experiences so much more and don’t take them for granted. 

Hope of winning kept me going. The feeling of hope after placing a bet recharged my batteries. When you win your elated, even if its a drop in the ocean of the amount you’ve lost. So technically, you never win, even by winning bets you’ve already lost. That’s the harsh reality. Those chasing the “big wins”...don’t think this is the answer. I won big one day on a football accumulator and it halved my debt. I walked to work the next day thinking about how it was a blessing from above. How deluded, and all it did was prolong my ability to gamble for another few years.

 

Over the course of years I accumulated credit card debt and loans three times my annual salary. I lost my marriage (due to my mood swings/depressive states) and subsequently had to change my home and job. My debt and interest payments were unsustainable and I finally woke up to the reality. I was at rock bottom with no choice but to seek help. 

 

I would have sought help years before, but I felt too embarrassed. My advice to anyone, don’t let this feeling block you from seeking help. I prepared all my financial information and made the call to an approved money advisor. Not once did anyone ask me to explain myself. Not once during these conversations did I feel ashamed. They are here to help and have dealt with thousands of people before you. Within 6 weeks I was put on a protected Trust Deed (scotland, known as a IVA in England). I could finally sleep again without worrying about not being able to pay bills. I knew I no longer had access to credit which was a huge relief. Please look into these financial options if your struggling. Just be brave and ask for help! It helps clear your mind for the other addiction battles ahead.  

 

I highly recommend a book called Tails I Lose by Justyn Larcombe, which is his story. Esp good for loved ones of people struggling with gambling..it is so insightful into the mindset and struggles of a gambling addict. I bought a copy online for a couple of quid and it really hit home to me. 

 

Everyday I don’t gamble I see that as winning. The thrill of saving money and enjoying life far exceeds anything gambling ever gave me. Just trust in better times ahead, seek help, talk it out and look forward to the great futures you have after this part of your journey. 

 

All the best everyone and here to help.

Scott