Any advice pls

Hi

I'm new to this forum. My name is Minisha and my husband has a gambling problem.

What I would like to know from anyone is what should and should you not do in this situation ( to avoid making it worse)

My husband first gambled 30k 7 years ago. He took money from friends/ work colleagues and gambled it at poker sessions. A friend of his informed me, he was working away then so gave up his job and came back to live with me. Foolishly i never looked into treatment / counselling. It never happened again until last year. The reason it probably never happened though was the fact he had very little money in the last 7 years. In 2012 he wanted to buy a business. I took out mortgages to buy this. As he bought this business from a friend he did not pay him in full ( which I only know now). Over a period of a year he managed to lose £250,000 - all borrowed money ( in my name) initially the mortgage payments were being made by him but for the last 3 months he has not paid me and now I have emptied my accounts. I only found out in jan 2014 that he was gambling again. The business he bought was on the verge of being worthless as he had taken money out of there too. I found out as another friend suspected him ( due to the way his business was going). I confronted him and he admitted it and swore blind never to go again. I was then 8 months pregnant and stopped eating as I was paranoid of not having money to pay bills etc. I've never had loans / missed payments etc. I started to check his post ( with his consent) he even asked me to put a tracker on his phone so I would know where he is at all times. The letters started to come in, payments missed, debt collector threats etc. I stupidly took out loans to try and get the business back up again. His friend suspected that he was still gambling and in March he proved it ( my husband was seen by another friend) going into a betting shop. Initially my husband denied it but after hours of arguing he admitted " going a few times in January" although he was seen in the betting shop in March. He stated he had been in there to watch ** ***. I love him but I'm not stupid. Until March I never told anyone - possibly due to embarrassment / to save his image / but also guilt that I had let this happen by funding him. In march I turned to close family and friends. After a lot of thought I told him he had to sell the business as this was giving him access to cash and would make things worse. So far in life he has failed to achieve a career / job and now this. He argued stating if he sold the business that he could not cope as " a failure" and could not face my family / friends. On Mother's Day he packed his bags and left

I've since txtd / spoke to him - I've told him that selling the business was not negotiable but we could start from scratch. I promised I would support him through this but he had to choose to want to get better.

The problem I have is that he is extremely intelligent and can talk his way through anything. He tells me that he had contacted a counsellor etc but so far no appointment has been made.

I've contacted close friends and family to ensure no one lends him money. All banks have refused him loans. I've done my credit check to make sure he had not taken loans in my name.

If he chooses not to come back to me then there is nothing I can do. If he does come back what steps can I take to help him, to slowly rebuild our life? The finances are a mess - ridiculous payments which I cannot manage with my income alone. I'm on maternity leave now as I have an eight week old baby and a 3 year old. I'm struggling to hold it together mentally but have to for the kids at least.

Any advice?