Hi,
My name is Dave. I'm keeping this introduction short;
I'm 28 years old. I've been gambling for 11 years. In those 11 years I probably attempted over 200 times to stop. I always underestimate the addiction and blame my circumstances (which make me hate my life). But they're all due to gambling.
At age 17 I started with scratch-off tickets. At age 18 I could finally visit the betting shop. And here I am, 11 years later, financially, mentally and socially broken.
In the past I was active on other forums, but in that time it didn't work for me. I registered on this forum after reading Mixer's post which made so much sense and yet it's not something that I haven't heard before. But I tend to forget it or wanting to forget it. Also the post made me realize that I'm not alone. And thanks to the post, I didn't go back to the betting shop, after losing this morning. So a big thank you for that.
Tomorrow will be day 1, this time it's 'one day at a time'. For now it's 'one moment at a time'
Keep strong,
Dave
Hi Dave,
Tomorrow is a brand new day and the chance to make a fresh start.
If you don’t mind me asking what’s the longest you’ve ever gone for without gambling? And have you ever sought help or looked on this website before now?
Thanks for your post MissP.
I really cant remember whats the longest period without gambling. Actually I remember now, it was 2 months, I felt great. In that period I’d also stopped smoking and went to the gym frequently. But that was approx. 5 years ago. A lot has changed since then; in a negative way of course due to gambling.
I’ve seen this forum before in the past, but I didnt had the need to register and open a post. I also have had counselling, but that didnt work as well.
My biggest issue is that I’m stuck in the past. I feel like my life didn’t have to be this way and that it’s not all my fault. Counselling couldn’t help me out of this. I’m stuck in self-pity and the thought that I didn’t deserve this. But honoustly, who did?
Also have troubles controlling my emotionals. Last night I had an huge argument with my mom and sister and I rushed my way to the bettingshop, won the money back which I’d lost in the morning, but then surprisingly lost it all.
Dave
Day 1
I made it through day one thanks to ODAAT and the fact I had little money. Instead I spent my money on buying some snacks and decided to rent a movie. It's funny how I'm so greedy with spending money, but squander it all on gambling. This made me decide to do things differently and I had a great night at home.
Addictive personality?
Sometimes I read about people talking about the so called addictive personality, but I don't believe that c**P. It starts with one addiction messing up your dopamine levels. In my case smoking. Also the fact that I started young in my teenage years made it mess up my brains. I do believe that while your developing during your teenage years, you're more vulnerable to getting addicted. So while I got addicted to nicotine, it began to have less effect within time. The void gets bigger and that's when you become more vulnerable to other addictions. It's not like we were born with genes for an addictive personality.
So after smoking it I also started using marijuana and alcohol and soon after gambling. In gambling there is no limit in using. With substances you notice that you've had enough, while with gambling you just want more and more and more. Stakes get bigger, (the void gets bigger, you smoke more and more) until you lose it all eventually. And then comes the realization what you've just done. And that's why gambling is in my opinion the toughest addiction to beat (because it has no limit).
(I do want to mention that I'm not addicted to marijuana or alcohol. In fact I stopped using marijuana ate age 18 and since 3 years alcohol as well. I do drink a radler 2% (shandy) once in a while and can enjoy that).
Keep strong and keep in mind that gambling just isn't worth it. Risking it all just for "entertainment". In the end it isn't even about the money.
Dave
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