Hi All,
I have been on here before and told my story.
I had a huge relapse earlier this year as i started working away from home earning decent money. I have a partner and child of 4. I confessed at the time and handed all finances over to her again. It really worked for abround 5-6 month. I didnt actually have a bet of any kind untill a couple of week ago! It was a couple of football bets, then quite a bit on scratch cards and ended up putting a couple 100 into the bookmakers over a couple of days. I confessed again (how she has put up with it for this long is beyond me).
Anyway during this time i never done any online betting which was what my huge relapse was earlier in the year (circa 3k). However as i sit at the moment i managed to find a way to bet through my phone bill. I have probably depsoisted £30 (daily limit) around 4-5 times over last week/weekend). Over wed/thurs last week i bult a bankroll from one of the £30 upto £1200. Friday night i played for hours hoping to reach 2k and cash out. As you can imagine i lost and felt sick. ( i thought, well i cant cash out because my partner will know so if i win big it wont be as bad when i tell her)
On saturday evening i did another £30 straight on roullette and got upto 300 in a few spins. I left it till sunday night. Got 300 upto 1200. Played again monday and got uto 1800 then went to bed with 1500. Did it again tuesday and actually reached my 2k target but then dropped very low to 3-400. I then hit a few wins on bonuses and got back upto 1200. I then did two cash outs of 500 and played with the 200. I then got upto 500 and went to bed. Last night i was happy i thought well i have 1000 coming out from 1-200 deposit and also 500 to play with to try reach 1k and cash out another 500. It didnt go well. I lost the 500 quite quickly, the slots just werent doing anything and roullete didnt help.
I left the laptop for around 3 hours addiment that i wouldnt touch the pending withdrawels....i reversed one of the 500 and lost. I somehow restrained from reversing the other 500.
I am now on edge and scared, urges to do it again to regain losses, thinking 'i had 2000, i need to get it back!' Then the other hand i am thinking well you have still won, all beit not much but still won. (btw, my partner knows about the deposits from phoe but not the win)
I know what i should do, leave it and let it go into my bank but i have this awful urge to go back on and try seen as though no one knows about the money but me anyway.
What shall i do? I imagine you have all felt this and been in the position. I have too many times and always lost!
Thanks for reading,
Cloud
Hi Cloud,
Honestly mate - If you reverse that £500 you will lose it - I promise you will, because you are exactly like me, We cant stop - Yeah you might get that £500 to £1k, ,but you will keep playing until its gone, because you just cant stop - So stop - Let the £500 reach your bank account, give it to your partner or treat them to something and walk away -
I was doing reasonably well, but had a blow out a few days back - Very much like yours tbh,
Realised a few things with this relapse though, I genuinely cannot stop - Cant stop thinking about it, cant stop gambling - I managed to get £25 to £600, tried to get to £1k but fell to £500 - Withdraw that, cancelled the withdraw, played again, lost a bit, cashed out, tried to sleep, kept thinking about it, wanted to win more, reversed it......... So on and so on, until its gone because i cant be happy with the ammount ive won -
Its all betting tokens until there is none left -
In all honestly, id love you to take the £500 and walk away and never gamble, but realistically you probably need to lose that £500 to see what i mean about not been able to stop - I dont think a sucessful ex gambler really stops when they have won something, it has to come when they have lost a bet you know! - Im not saying go gamble or anything like that - I just know EXACTLY the temptation you are feeling, you won, you want more, you cant stop my friend!!
UNLESS WE STOP!!!
Its a horrible addiction, i think you know what to do (Like me) but these f$%king urges - So hard to resist -
But im at the point where i hate the gambling, hate not sleeping because of it, hate that it turns me into a sneaky git, hate the whole thing - I hope you hate it too -
Not sure if you've reversed the £500 but honestly pal, you cannot win more - You will only inevitable lose the £500 you have,
All the best bud,
Drew
Hi Drew,
Thanks for the reply mate.
Just to let you know, the withrawel has been accepted now so cant be reversed. In a way i am unhappy because the urge is unreal to play again. I am more than certain that i would have lost it yet i still wanted to play. Its crazy! So sick! Just thinking about what that amount of money can do in the real world.
Talk about being sneaky... im the worst for it, the things you do to feed the monster.
I will keep you posted on my situation mate.
Hope you are doing well with the resistance!
Cheers
Cloud
Cloud....that was my exact problem. Found 2 sites I could quite easily make money (slots) and got up to £1500 2 months in a row only on both times so reverse and lose. That's when I realised when I Really I have a problem here and would forfeit Bill money to chase back my losses. Even when that money comes through please don't put it back 🙂
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