Hello all,
Where to begin... It all started 8 years ago in my eraly 20's, I can remember the day well I deposited £20 on a well known gambling website I saw advertised online. (how I wish I never saw this ad) I sat down at the blackjack table not knowing much about gambling it seemed like an easy game with fairly decent odds. Over the course of the next 3 days I played almost every waking hour. I had quickly turned my £20 into just over £2500 I was so happy, I was on a high noone could stop me, I was hooked.
I kept going £100 a hand, £200 a hand 'just one more' I was telling myself but I was winning it was easy money then it all fell apart within the next 5 minuets my balance was £0. I quickly deposited more chasing the loss in my eyes that £2500 was mine I needed it back I had quickly blown £4000 hoping for a win I was physically sick my bank account was now empty.
After this I just kept going I would get paid pay my bills and join a table. I had to win sooner or later this went on for 3 years I had some big wins along the way but it was never enough I'd lost so much money chasing the loss I needed to win. My pay was gone in a day or two most months, I'd work 75 hours a week because I needed the money I was going to win.
Eventually I'd had enough I'd lost in excess of £30K I sought help and moved back in with my parents I never told them why or how much I had lost I was too ashamed of myself but I thought that was that.
I met a girl threw work I moved in with her we got married I didn't need to gamble I was so happy gambling never even croseed my mind after 4 years the marriage broke down she'd cheated on me and left me with £19K worth of debt I had stupidly transferred all of her debts into my name just two months prior she knew what she was doing I had no idea what was coming. The courts refused to do anything as it was my choice to do this I had no way of paying the money back I went insolvent and moved back in with my parents once again.
During this time I was suicidal, severely depressed and eventually I had a break down I took 6 months off work trying to sort my life out everyone was so supportive but I just felt like I had nothing left to lose. I remembered the feeling I got from gambling all those years ago I sat down at the table and I have been gambling ever since as you can guess losing everything time and time again.
I have today decided after losing another £1.3K in a single sitting and £5K in the last month alone enough is enough I will not let this take hold of me any longer. I have today closed all my gaming accounts and excluded myself from their services.
Sorry for babbling on I just had to write it down and tell somone even if it is just text on a forum.
Thank you for listening.
Hello No,
Welcome to the forum, and accessing the support of other forum users. It sounds like you have gone through some challenging situations, however it seems you have accessed the support around you to get through it, such as; taking time out of work, accessing the support of family and coming here to express how you are feeling.
Recovery is a process, and you have had a time of abstinence which shows your capacity to challenge the problem behaviour, and this was tested by a challenging period in your life, which triggered a relapse; however you are now here looking for further support in helping you to build more coping strategies and speak about your experiences, which is a healthy step to take in recovery.
If you would like further support please feel free to contact one of our advisors on freephone: 0808 8020 133. We can advise you of services to access and some practical steps you can implement.
Thank you for your contribution.
Warm Regards
Forum Admin
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