Bad times

Hi Mast2021

This addiction has some horrible characteristics, doesn’t it. We know it’s bad for us, we know the impacts and we know we have to stop. We know so much.

We also know what we need to do to fix it - practical steps and psychological steps. We need to understand what drove us here and then take action.

But it’s a delicate and sensitive situation, isn’t it. How do we take action? Who do we tell? How do we seek support (which we, deep down, know we need?)

Is there anyone you can trust to share this problem, Mast2021. Someone whom you trust has your best interests at heart. How about your husband? As we know,  non-addicts (who are not professionally trained) don’t understand our addiction. They see it as an illogical waste of time and money (which we also know it is).

 It’s possible that the overwhelming guilt and secrecy you’re bearing is really getting you down and you need to relieve the pressure. 

Do contact those who can support in confidence, eg GamCare, your doctor, to help build up more resilience. And also for that crucial advice and suggestion. To help you take a path that suits you. Just to build up those first steps.

You *get* this. I can see that. You want a better life for you and those around you. So it’s great you have visited us here. Keep writing, we’ll keep reading and responding.

A warm welcome to you Mast2021.

Just to clarify a point. Your husband, and others who are non addicts and simply don’t understand it, may need considered approaching if you decide to share. Hence why it’s good to chat things through with professionals and those with ‘lived on experience’ (not sure if I like that term) to help you rationalise things. 
Also consider practical steps, like Gamban if internet gambling is your particular weakness, for example. Also keep researching, learning - that’s when we get the answers and this makes our journey clearly. All the best. 

Thank you for your advice.  Yes i could tell husband really don't want to as once its out there its out there.  Im giving myself one more chance to get it right and not have to tell anyone.  It hasn't negatively impacted friendship or relationship,but i know it may if it continues.  Anyways thanks again

Thank you for responding Mast2021 and I fully understand and respect your position.

It’s good to talk things through, think about things. Thank you for being receptive.

We are here, shoulder to shoulder to, usefully anonymously but with genuine care, listen and chip in with ideas that might float your boat or sometimes not, but here’s a free-thinking open space we all need at times!