Hi Guys,
wanted to share this with you all. I am still new to this and faced my first real test today. Visiting a service station where I used to place on FOBT I went in and put my debit card into the ATM to withdraw cash to play the machines. It then asked are you sure you want to proceed (as it charges £1.99 to get your money robbing *****)
It was at this point I thought actually no I don’t and took my card out without taking any cash and went on with my day. Never even looked into the arcade area went past and just carried on walking rather than losing it all in the space of 5 minutes.
Might not sound like much to you guys however it’s the first step for me in a long road to not gambling. Feeling more determined than ever specially with the support of the forums and sometimes it’s just being able to log on and read other peoples stories has helped me massively. Still not told the missus yet, dreading it and keep putting it off but know what needs to be done. Over 2 weeks gamble free now. Small steps but big rewards.
Thanks guys!
Well done Shaun, big achievement.
Wouldn’t fancy your chances of repeating it on a regular basis though!
Suggest leaving the card in the car, or even better have someone else look after it and just carry the cash you need for the day. We gamblers like to feel tooled up with cards & cash ‘just in case’ opportunity presents itself.
Keep it going!
Well done shaun sounds like a big step to me, you should be proud, I've never managed to walk away once I've decided I'm going to gamble even when I've wanted to!
Hi Shaun,
I know this may sound a bit harsh, but its not really a big step. Dont be fooled by this, I was of a similar mindset adn could even stop gambling entirely for months at a time using will power alone and in doing so convinced myself I had full control over this as I could stop when I wanted, but inevitably I would go back and before long I was in the gutter again. Dont get me wrong saying know to the voice in the head like you did is great but dont let it lull you in to a false sense of security.
You need support to combat this, GA meetings are excellent for this, but you really need to come clean to your partner. I know the dread as I had to face it also but it was such a relief once I had done it. If you came clean to her adn told her you had already begun attending GA meetings adn were handing over full financial control to her at least it helps soften the blow as it shows her your taken recovery serious.
Hi Shaun and Welcome.
If I can share my experience with you the real test is unfortunately not just walking away once or twice. I did that early on and thought oh Ive got this sussed with a bit of willpower. This cant be that hard because Im in control now I thought. The anti tiggers dont work all the time unless you are properly blocked while your mind heals
The next time I was in that situation I relapsed hard, drew all my money out and gambled to extinction.
Its an addiction that we can pretend is dormant but it comes out of the blue again if you dont break the time location money triangle.
The real test for a complusive gambler is actually proving you are ready to stop by handing cards over and living on an allowance. Once strong self exclusions are in place and monitoring of your finances you can breathe a sigh of relief that youve started properly and its going to be very hard to even try and gamble.
Secrets are no good for you. Its not about being treated like a baby. I knew I had a split mind addiction and I had no control over my life when it came to gambling.
The advice we give here is tried and tested. Nobody is saying that it is easy to tell a partner. When it finally clicked that I was thousands down and feeling suicidal most of the time, it became a no brainer that I needed help and I needed to tell people right away. Something washed over me in a born again moment and I thought why didnt I do this before.
I was ready to stop. Gambling was killing me and it was time to fight it and tell the world I am a compulsive gambler. I still use the present tense even though Ive stopped since Dec 2015.
There is no shame in admitting it. Gambling has got new lows in store for you so you must abstain and reach out for every bit of help on offer. Make no mistake it is a healing process and it takes a while. Like substances there is a period of cold turkey but the urges do die away. The recovery is easier when you are totally ready to hand over your money becuause you want no more of this money and gambling lark
Im glad you walked away but you need to treat this addiction as deadly serious in what you need to be doing to make it history
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Thanks for all your comments guys. Maybe I am being a tad naive maybe it’s not as big a step taken as first thought. However, for me it’s a big step. Taking each day as it comes. I have already passed off finances in theory to myself but I have limited funds. I have transferred a living allowance to my account and the rest into a savings account. Which I can not just withdraw from I need to go into branch and my nearest one is 30 mins away. I’m putting blocks in place and working on each day. I have had a few words with my partner, and hinted towards what’s been happening. But ideally want to be in a better place for I go and tell her all. Be able to say yes I ***** up but I’m on the forums I’m now 30 days GF. I am now also managing my finaces much better etc. I got myself into this mess and I need to be the one to make the effort first. You can’t help someone who doesn’t help themselves first I’ve always been told.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
