Can't stop until I get my money back

I have the same exact problem. Chasing back. Can gamble online roulette, slots and blackjack and be winning for weeks until one night takes it all (and more) back. Last week was hell and still is, as guilt and hopelesness remain my main two emotions. Was up £2000 in an amazing run of luck, then lost that in one night (had bad feeling that I will lose, but still did it). Next three days, I spent chasing and chasing and chasing until lost another £1000. I was betting stupid in despair, like £100 on just zero spiel, huge side bets on blackjack, crazy football bets and etc. Now completely out of money and 3 weeks away from payday (f****** idiot). I had to tell my girlfriend, who supports me usually, but this time she was having none of it, even threatened to leave. Complete rock bottom.

What makes it even more painful is the fact that I did well recently. Had councelling and was starting to take control of my problem. I just don't understand what makes me think at that time so naively that I can get my money back. Deep inside we all know chasing money back is adding fuel to fire. God d**n it

Hi Blueteam.

I'm a fellow blue, but I'm much further down the line to you. My total debts are 28k and I'm the same age as you. Difference is I'm living at home with parents when I should be looking to start a family like you. I joined today and haven't posted about my journey yet so watch and listen with interest because you DO NOT want to end up like me.I have a long term girlfriend and Ive let her down as she wants to move out but I'm broke. Ill lose everything if I dont start now. Here's to being GF!!

COYB

Hi thanks for all your replies, and welcome aboard fellow blue.

It's the worst thing ever when you think what you could of done with that money which is the worst bit about it. I posted couple of weeks back and read all the helpful things you guys said, I was £800 but kept bludy going. Gone to 2k now, literally spending all my money until I'm left with £1, then I stop until I get paid and cycle keeps going. Day 1 is today really, already checked today's football bets and screenshots of what I would of put on, for now hopefully won't bet but watch that bet come in typical. I thought GA meeting was helpful, actually was let myself go and told them everything, I feel like I was trying to make myself believe it's wrong and should stop. I have always been really bad about losses even £1 which is crazy, obv before I was a compulsive gambler never used to bother me. My brain is very confused ATM and just want to be happy again when I never used to bet and enjoy time with my kids and Mrs. Got today off work aswell beautiful day, but still feeing lost.

blue team

I don't even earn that much and just about make ends meet, I recently got a interest free credit card, which needs paying within 1 month. So what I have done to feed my bad habits is use all my money up on gambling and use credit card to feed my family, I keep finding ways around it. But when it comes to pay it back i won't have the money to pay it. So it's gone from using my own money basically savings to the banks goodwill. I know it's wrong and aCting dumb in a way to ignore the future problem. Swear this whole situation is the worst I have ever been in.

The last year for me has been awful. Last March my cousin borrowed me 5k to pay off credit cards and small overdraft. That was me, pay him back and I'm debt free. It was an 18month loan which will be gone in Spetember. Fast forward a year and I'm over the limit on both cards I've taken out countless payday loans, a 7.5k guarentor loan (which I can't afford) and over 2k to my family. Get out of the cycle NOW! Because it will end badly I promise. I envy you Blueteam because you're not in too deep and have time to turn it around. Even after one morning on this forum I realise that even though Im 28k deep, I have plenty of time and can turn it around for myself. Today will be day 1 of GF for me. I firmly believe I have been given another chance purely by changing my attitude and surrounding myself with positive stories on here. You can do it!!

All the best to you my friend, I hope you do get past this, hope we both do. Even reading what you just said to me, that you envy my position, it still isn't getting to me, it's like it won't get to you until your over the 10k mark etc. Just gone for a long walk at the park with lil one asleep in the pram, defo gives you time to reflect

ive no right to give advice other than stop before its too late. I'm starting my journey before you and one position isnt better than the other when wrapped by this life sucking addiction.

I should nhave stopped so so long ago.

2 days Gf, today will be 3rd day going to be very hard with all the football. Very tempted today urge is high. Been horrible 2 days urges still there

Horrible relapse for me since the post. Borrowed 2k... Lost it all. Total.debt over 35k now. When will it end, stomach is twisting, cant go to work. Only one way out for me.

I entirely agree. You see gambling addiction, is not like others. People give us a title "Gambling addicts", and the truth is, it makes complete sense. You gamble with an intention to win money / make profit. If that result doesn't happen, you continue to do it until that is acheived. If it is not acheived (how ever many chances you can / how ever much money you have), then you end up with no money! Then, your called a gambling addict. People think your addicted to gambling, when the truth is, all you really want / need is the "Money". How ever means of winning it is irrelevant. So i completely relate with you when your saying you wont stop until you get your money back. When you quit, you just prevent losses, but when you continue, although its painful and odds are bad, you may just come through. You have to be in it to win it they say. And i cant just sit back and slave for all my hardly enough money, and pay my debts and live miserably after all the efforts and hope i put into gambling. Something has to give. I've done abstinence and recovery, but primarily, the most important thing and detrimental problems that were going on were money. you even need money to get to a meeting. So my statement is, If you have the courage to swallow it and leave your losses behind, thats fantastic; stop gambling and have faith you'll get over it. Or otherwise, you can be like me where I've been so humiliated and damaged, I have nothing else to lose, so my only hope is "The so called big win" or a great winning streak in which I can pay my way out. The man in the movie called "The Gambler 2014" said "The only way i'm gonna get out, is the same way I came in". If you have that right amount of money on a good price, once or twice your good to go. And yes I wont deny the addiction in itself, but if you win a substantial amount of money to bring your life back, then yes you need serious help. I've never won that so I can't give you evidence that If I win big, i'd continue gambling because i'm addicted. Give me £10,000 right now, I wouldn't gamble a penny of it. Not saying I wouldn't gamble in the future. In conclusion, I think most of us truely want the money. I'ts nothing to do with a buzz. I just want to win money and spend it on nice things and live nicely.

@Jerry2018, I have the same thoughts I just want the money. If I will win big, I will stop. But it will never happened coz i keep chasing my losses, same as everyone. At the moment I am tempted again, this forum is keeping me away from bingo sites. I don't want self exclussions, I have done it before and it doesn't help thy pride when you try to go back and they just shoo you away. So I will just have to control myself, find another outlet for the mind. It's day one for me, I hope by next week I can affirm that its day 7....

I am too scared to look at the results for 1.50 at Newmarket. I have lost couple of important grand. Just taken a payday loan and placed £500 bet to win. If it wins I'm never gambling again. If it loses I'm getting another loan. Problem is too scared to look if it won or not. I'm proper stressed out- stomach all over the place. Drinking vodka. Numb the pain if I've lost. I need help man. First time I admit that. All the numbers on roulette add up to 666. Even if you win it's the devil's money. He always gets it back. So listen up chumps and chumpesses. Get spiritual and exercise. I'm getting out of the horrible existence. Hard way or easy depending on the winner at 1.50 Newmarket.

Win or loose, better to stop now!

I tell you one thing. If im going down I'm going down fighting. It's all in the balance. Is it Micheal Watson or Micheal Johnson. Am I blowing up like a phoenix on nitro seed or crash and burn like an ill conceived land speed. Record, Hold on let me look at the Sporting life. Oh s**t- When I'm gone can someone take care of my wife. I still too scared to look. So I still don't know. I hope that filly didn't fall. I have to pick up the kids from school.

Help. Total P****d now. Got to get kids still too scared to look. Don't want to now. Better to wait till they sleeping. As now I still have hope. That's what them f*****s Pendle hope! No good C***s! No love my kids. Ultimately that's what drives my addiction. The hope to provide something better for my children. My love for them. Like in green mile that's what that evil fuuckhead used on them little girls. Same s**t - different modus operandi. We are the moronic fools that drink in that muck. Then we say thanks and come back later. I still haven't looked at the result of my life. Still too scared. Someone tell me the winner. PLEASE!