Day 1 - new to this site, unfortunately not to gambling. Abit about me, it all started around 8 years ago, I can’t really remember how I initially discovered the first site I ever logged into, however I do remember when it happened, I had fallen out with a long term friend of mine, I had spent a lot of time with her and than suddenly I was cut off. It was only ever online casinos, I ended up getting into debt, never had any money, you know how it goes, a vicious cycle! This went on for around 4 years, suprisingly it was during lockdown when I actually signed up to GameStop and I quit, I had managed to rewire ny brain, I never thought about it, I never craved it. I got back into a good financial position, I had money I was able to buy myself what I wanted. Well fast forward to 6 months ago when I realised once a gambling addict, always a gambling addict, more fool me! I was asked to create an account with a competition site on behalf of someone, next thing I know, I’m back into debt, no money, I discovered the overseas online sites! I realise that part of my triggers are change, I dislike change, I dislike the unknown, I dislike the uncertainty and the way I have dealt with that is escaping into my own little world of just me and these awful sites. Usually I can deposit £20 and lose it than I’m angry at myself so I deposit another £20, I do think I get myself into self destructive mode as I never have the mindset that I’m going to win big or even win at all. Anyway I thought I would start my own diary that I can try and keep updated every day to keep me accountable, I know I’ve curbed this addiction once so I know that I am capable of doing it again.
I have done probably day one more than there are days in the year. The best thing you can do is to keep at it and reading the stories on here. I am mentally exhausted recently and feel low which makes me come back on here to read other peoples stories. If I can relate I will try to share my experiences.
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one day at a time and keep coming back.
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dave101
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Exactly that, as they say rome wasn’t built in a year 😅 I think it does help to know we are all in the same boat here, I have been reading a lot of people’s posts and it does help to know there’s light at the end of the tunnel, I think it’s just getting there that’s the difficult bit. How are you doing in your recovery?Â
@3blzgxd41p I need to reset to zero I feel after some silly investing  I did recently. I am ashamed of myself but I did get a full refund from the start up. I was so glad to get it back that I have now made a few more barriers in place to stop me again from potentially harming myself.
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my focus away from all things investing and gambling is now my poetry. Watch this space for the worst poetry yet 😅
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dave101
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just for today I will not gamble, and understand the art of poetry is in the painter
@3blzgxd41p your story really resonates with me, I stopped with Gamstop for a while too but then the oversea casinos got me 🙈 I think for some people it takes a few goes (unfortunately I’m in attempt number 4 atm) but it can be done I’ve seen it. Get Gamban installed on your phone, it does a pretty good job of blocking the oversea casinos. Best of luck, stay well and mind yourself!
@dave101 what barriers do you currently have in place? The first time I quit I really got into anime, that’s basically all I watched etc, at least that’s not harmful 😅 just about replacing it with things that you enjoy to do and get fulfilment out of!
@2ivlaw1qhx they truly are awful, I regret ever finding them sites. Unfortunately there’s soo many of them out there. Everyday is a new day and a new opportunity to break free from this addiction.Â
@3blzgxd41p well I have now stopped myself from being able to deposit to a exchange where I need send the money over for investing. I can now only with drawl money from now on so any one going investments can be withdrawn only from now on.
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it genuinely just drains me and I felt like gambling so I am out now without the pain of all my money getting sucked up. Would rather buy my partner flowers like I did today.Â
have a good weekend and keep coming backÂ
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dave101
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just for today I will not gamble and enjoy the playfulness of my daughterÂ
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