Day 1 - new to this site, unfortunately not to gambling. Abit about me, it all started around 8 years ago, I can’t really remember how I initially discovered the first site I ever logged into, however I do remember when it happened, I had fallen out with a long term friend of mine, I had spent a lot of time with her and than suddenly I was cut off. It was only ever online casinos, I ended up getting into debt, never had any money, you know how it goes, a vicious cycle! This went on for around 4 years, suprisingly it was during lockdown when I actually signed up to GameStop and I quit, I had managed to rewire ny brain, I never thought about it, I never craved it. I got back into a good financial position, I had money I was able to buy myself what I wanted. Well fast forward to 6 months ago when I realised once a gambling addict, always a gambling addict, more fool me! I was asked to create an account with a competition site on behalf of someone, next thing I know, I’m back into debt, no money, I discovered the overseas online sites! I realise that part of my triggers are change, I dislike change, I dislike the unknown, I dislike the uncertainty and the way I have dealt with that is escaping into my own little world of just me and these awful sites. Usually I can deposit £20 and lose it than I’m angry at myself so I deposit another £20, I do think I get myself into self destructive mode as I never have the mindset that I’m going to win big or even win at all. Anyway I thought I would start my own diary that I can try and keep updated every day to keep me accountable, I know I’ve curbed this addiction once so I know that I am capable of doing it again.
I have done probably day one more than there are days in the year. The best thing you can do is to keep at it and reading the stories on here. I am mentally exhausted recently and feel low which makes me come back on here to read other peoples stories. If I can relate I will try to share my experiences.
one day at a time and keep coming back.
dave101
Exactly that, as they say rome wasn’t built in a year 😅 I think it does help to know we are all in the same boat here, I have been reading a lot of people’s posts and it does help to know there’s light at the end of the tunnel, I think it’s just getting there that’s the difficult bit. How are you doing in your recovery?
@3blzgxd41p I need to reset to zero I feel after some silly investing I did recently. I am ashamed of myself but I did get a full refund from the start up. I was so glad to get it back that I have now made a few more barriers in place to stop me again from potentially harming myself.
my focus away from all things investing and gambling is now my poetry. Watch this space for the worst poetry yet 😅
dave101
just for today I will not gamble, and understand the art of poetry is in the painter
@3blzgxd41p your story really resonates with me, I stopped with Gamstop for a while too but then the oversea casinos got me 🙈 I think for some people it takes a few goes (unfortunately I’m in attempt number 4 atm) but it can be done I’ve seen it. Get Gamban installed on your phone, it does a pretty good job of blocking the oversea casinos. Best of luck, stay well and mind yourself!
@dave101 what barriers do you currently have in place? The first time I quit I really got into anime, that’s basically all I watched etc, at least that’s not harmful 😅 just about replacing it with things that you enjoy to do and get fulfilment out of!
@2ivlaw1qhx they truly are awful, I regret ever finding them sites. Unfortunately there’s soo many of them out there. Everyday is a new day and a new opportunity to break free from this addiction.
@3blzgxd41p well I have now stopped myself from being able to deposit to a exchange where I need send the money over for investing. I can now only with drawl money from now on so any one going investments can be withdrawn only from now on.
it genuinely just drains me and I felt like gambling so I am out now without the pain of all my money getting sucked up. Would rather buy my partner flowers like I did today.
have a good weekend and keep coming back
dave101
just for today I will not gamble and enjoy the playfulness of my daughter
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