Day 1 gf, time to kill the devil!

Welcome to the forum Baron.

I remember the first few days of my recovery i told everyone close, handed over finances, walked to where i thought a GA meeting should be (turns out it wasn't there) and phoned about counselling. I was so closed up as a person from my addiction. I kept everything secret, people knew i gambled but had no idea to the level i actually did. I found counselling helped. It wasn't exaclty ground breaking but it was helfpul to just say things out loud to someone that i was ready to get out.

Theres lots of advice for blocks and support you can get to help make things easier for you when you are struggling but the key point is that you want to stop and like i said sharing that weight of the secret life i had forced myself into made the biggest difference to me.

You have some debt now but it can be managed. I still have debt and im paying a chunck out of my wages to get rid but theres light at the end of the tunnel. Gambling isn't a financial problem. Deal with the root, the mental side of WHY you turn to gambling and what triggers that and the money will sort itself over time.

Theres hope for a better life but you have to want it for yourself and, with things such as GA recovery can happen. Recovery is more than just not gambling its filling that hole that gambling fills now with something positive.

All the best.

Hi there, thank you for reading my post. I came to terms with the fact that I had a problem towards the end of last year and although I never took it very seriously it definitely planted the seed. This recent breakdown really hit home, but it hit me before I even spent all the money yet I just carried on and on... as always.

I agree it isn't a money thing, I have Allen Carr's book for company this evening and I am getting through it chapter by chapter. Its eye opening to see just how many people there are like us, and we probably walk past many people experiencing the same lows as us everyday yet we never hear about them or even notice.

We need to raise awareness for the mental health issues caused by gambling, there seems to be awareness for everything nowadays and I feel this topic is still under valued. Actively looking for help without the aid of the internet is incredibly tough. That's not right is it?

Doctors refer you to GA, never wanting to offer the counselling people like me require. They say I'm depressed and prescribe pills for this and that. I want genuine 1 to 1 help and I am struggling so d**n much trying to find that.

If I can just find even 1 person on here who will rub shoulders with me and fight this alongside me I believe I will be on a much better place.

I am now sure 100% that I do not want to place another bet in my life, however I am now facing the backlash from everybody I've hurt along the way. Is it selfish of me to expect my loved ones to support me through this instead of making me feel bad for my latest binge? Maybe I'm seeing it all wrong.

Who knows.

HI, im happy that you've started this journey with honesty to ur partner, this gambling thrives on secrecy and as you're getting married honesty i the best and only way forward in youre relationship. Join Gamstop, exclude from all bookies, join sense program for uk casinos exclusion, then cut up ur credit cards and have a debit card with ur paygoing in and when it does transfer it to a loved one so you have no access to it......then just carry cash you need with you and no cards if possible so if you do relapse all that you can lose is the money on you.....trust me this process is a wake up call but months and years down the line it will save u thousands. Good luck adam

Thanks Adam, I have cut them up already. Also signed up for the gamstop and have barred myself from all bookies in my town, they are my vice and if I don't have access to them then I cannot make the mistake of relapsing. Only day 2 mind you but we've got to start somewhere haven't we.

I hope we will still be able to get married although she has lost all trust in me as i have self destructed on and off for over 2 years. She is visibly unhappy and I am almost powerless to change that as it stands. I am trying to prove to her like so many times before that I am going to change my ways, this time i am putting my full effort and i will not slip. Just gotta take it 1 day at a time for now. I don't have any urges to gamble thus far which is great but I know there will be moments where it strikes. It's down to me to be strong and fight for what I want. Just wish I had started this process years ago, I've been so stupid.

Hi Baron,

I'm 6 weeks GF today and I wouldn't have been able to reach that point without being honest with loved ones around me. You've done the right thing as you cannot battle this alone. My partner was livid with me at the beginning but she took the time to understand it and she spoke with a professional on the gambling advice line. Maybe your partner could do the same?

Go to GA meetings mate, they really do help. I give up two hours of my time a week to go and it's very much worth it. The Gamcare forum is helpful but I don't think you can beat face to face communication with others in the same boat as you.

Regarding counselling, have you called 'Options'? They give you an initial phone appointment and then decide whether you should continue phone counselling or arrange face to face counselling. The downside is there's a waiting list and I'm still waiting to hear which day they can take me! Better that you do it now for that reason.

All the best dude, keep your chin up!

Hi Dave, well done for getting to 6 weeks gf! That's great news, yeah I told her today that the support is there for her as well as it is for me. I haven't heard of options but I will certainly call them in the morning. Been a hectic day today, worked a full shift from 5am then went for possibly the most important job interview of my life so far (smashed it by the way). So hopefully some positives to focus on in the forthcoming weeks, aiming to reguide my focus and really figure out what's important to me. Told my mum about the action I've taken to stop gambling and she was over the moon, I never stopped to think even for a second how many people I was affecting with my gambling. Now its painstakingly obvious that everyone around me was crushed by my ways.. Never again.