Thought I was in control after going back to online casinos again triggered by a miscarriage I had last October.
Lost nearly 3k in savings the other night and can’t help thinking about it this morning on what that money could have been used for.
I know there are people in worst shape than me with depts up to their eyeballs. The only dept I have is student dept and maybe an unpaid PayPal account dept.
Back to work today with swollen eyes from crying as I told my husband. He’s been supportive with my GAMSTOP registration as he’s the one who suffers the most when I do this.
Thankfully I was smart and sent him 2k when I was at my worst point of chasing and I’ve got a little left over in the bank to start from scratch. Again I feel lucky to have done that!
I did go through all my savings at some point whilst a new site had to verify me to get my withdrawals. I tried to withdraw my winnings as soon as I could so something was always going back to my bank.
Anyway Day 1 starts now as we both want to get a Mortgage this year and hopefully try for another baby. I don’t ever want to gamble if I were to be a mother as my own mother had a serious gambling addiction and spent all her money including mine a lot.
thanks for reading and I’m thankful I’m not at rock bottom but I feel that’s even more scarier as I can fall so easily back into the addiction.
You have definitely done the right thing
6 days has flown for me now and I feel so much better about things. Yes the debt is still hanging over me, but it is only money and in time that will sort itself out.
Keep going 1 day at a time and before you know it things will become much easier
Try staying positive and reaching out to people on here as everyone can help you when you feel low.
Tom
Hi Tom,
It is inspiring hearing your positivity! Something that doesn’t usually go hand in hand for us gamblers unless we are winning of course. I think this site and support from people like yourself could really shape the future regarding the UK’s gambling crises.
I lived in Dubai for a number of years and it was so nice to get away from gambling for a while as it’s illegal.
Work has been busy today which has been a nice distraction and I’m working from home which is also nice. Pay day should come around quickly which will help with my positivity.
I hope it passes quickly for you Tom and your depts get cleared in no time. Onwards and upwards.
Glad to have your support and I’m also here if you need me.
Helen
Hi Helen
Firstly really sorry to hear about your miscarriage in October. I think the last line of your 1st post really rings true with me “I’m not at rock bottom but I feel that’s even more scarier” I’m in a similar position compared to other gamblers but we are just as vulnerable as every other compulsive gambler as with having money the door is kind of still open. But it seems you’ve done a great job of shutting that door by registering to Gamstop and being open with your husband having his full support should hopefully make your journey easier. When the thoughts creep in remember what you want to achieve this year e.g a mortgage you can do it! I’ll make sure to keep checking in on your diary to see how your doing. All the best!
It’s nice to know I’m not alone in feeling that way.
If I was to really break down that thought, it would probably be correct to say I am not comfortable having money and savings just sitting there.
I have been working in my first permanent job and with the pandemic I haven’t needed to spend much either so it pains me to think how I was treating my account like it was just Monopoly money.
I think something needs to change in banking as with crypto now in the game. Money isn’t being presented in a way of real property and earnings, rather just numbers in your name.
I think there should be like a secondary pension account for essentials and back up situations like emergencies so people can pay their bills and feed themselves.
I know I’m rambling but it’s day 2 and I’m a bit restless ?
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