Hello all, I hope you are all well.
For a few months, I have read this site at my lowest points but never really plucked up the courage to start a post. Was it because I was ashamed, embarassed or thought I didn't have a problem? Maybe a mix of them all.
About me and my gambling. I'm 26 and since I was around 15/16 I've been gambling. Nothing big at first, a few pounds maybe £5 on the weekend on the football. If I won £60 I thought I'd won the lottery, and I never chased bigger wins it was always a passing hobby. When I turned 21 there was a lot going on in my personal life, parents getting divorced, split from my partner and my nan passing away. It was then that I turned to gambling as a comfort, a blissful escape from every day life. It was about the same time I found a betting group on facebook, who for a small charge, shared tips. Great I thought, these lads are winning £10,000s every week, why can't I? The problem was I didn't and don't have the willpower to be strongwilled. I chase losses, I use credit to gamble. And this is where the longwinding circle began. Taking a small bank loan for my first car (passed when 21) and a bit extra ... not to buy clothes or a holiday, but to gamble. Thanks to a great credit score, this has been the pattern the past 5 years.
Take a loan, get straight, gamble more, take a loan, get straight. The question has to be, where does it end?
Hopefully, right here and right now. This last month my real demon has really tightened his grip on me. Not football betting or horse betting, but blackjack. That feeling you have the decision whether or not to take a card really appeals to me. In reality, you never win. Because how can you win if you can't stop? Just yesterday I sat in my car and blew £4,000 in half an hour, all because I lost £90 earlier that day in a bookies. I've since (thanks to a great credit score) refinanced my loan to pay this and all my other debt off. I've got a 5 year plan (length of my loan) now to get straight and thankfully I can still save and hope to have a sizeable amount aside for a house deposit. I bought a A4 pad in which on the back page I've detailed the loan and where I'll be at 6 monthly points over the next 5 years. I could potentially pay it off in 3 and a half years, and thats what I'd like to do. I will be resucing my credit card limit to £500 to use as a back up. That's the plan anyway. I hope to post here regular to give you all an update on where I stand. Please respond and I hope a few of you join me on my journey.
Thanks,
J
Hi jacktheladswing
Welcome to the forum and we are glad you have felt able to post on here and tell us a bit about yourself and how gambling has affected you. You describe only too well the frustration and futility of gambling and borrowing money to clear debts only for the whole process to start again.
It sounds like you have made a plan to tackle your debt and also have some great plans for the future. You talk about turning to gambling as a way of escaping from difficult feelings and events in your life so you may want to think about calling our helpline on 0808 8020 133 and speak to one of our trained advisers. The adviser will listen to your concerns and can talk to you about practical steps to take to limit your acessibility to gambling venues, if you haven't taken these steps already. Advisers can also refer you for free free one to one counselling in some areas which can be very beneficial, in helpling you to explore, both the problem gambling behaviour, as well as the thoughts and feelings which may motivate this behaviour.
You may want to start your own Recovery Diary on the Recovery Diaires section of the forum so you can post on how things are going for you and also any reflections that you may have on your recovery journey.
Take care
Best wishes
Forum Admin
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