Good morning.Â
I'm a happily married man in my early 50's. I've 3 great kids and a great wife I think the world of. I'm employed and in a few years time I'll be mortgage free. People that work with me,socialise with me, are completely unaware of the turmoil I'm currently in.
I've gambled all my life,gotten myself into debt twice ,to the point where I confessed to my wife and swore I would never do it again. That was 13 years ago. I've still not stopped.
I've opened a secret bank account where I use my card to deposit, I've used almost every gambling site imaginable,to stupidly sign up for the bonuses etc.
Cut a long story short,
I've taken out 2 loans, I owe in total almost £10,000.
I've lied to everybody about my habit, I've managed to sneak money out of me and my wife's joint account so that I can pay the direct debit for my loans. I have about 3.5 years left on both of these.Â
I have told absolutely nobody,I am completely consumed in guilt and shame. If there is one person I could trust it is probably one of my sons but I know how hurt and betrayed he will feel. I've thought about suicide but then realised how selfish this is.
I'm determined to put things right.Â
If my wife ever found out I've no doubt my marriage would be over.Â
Please anyone give me some advice.
Thanks for reading.Â
Hello @zkrmqv1abu,
Welcome to the GamCare Forum and thank you for sharing your first post with us here.Â
Well done for reaching out for support and joining a community where we can support you through your gambling recovery journey. From what you have shared, it seems that you come with a lot of determination and the want for change. This is a great way to start your recovery! Having a mindset like this can really help with building on acceptance and working on ways to move forward from this in a much more positive direction.
I can understand that it must be overwhelming for you at this stage as you express a lot of emotions that you have felt through your post. I’m glad to hear however that you are keeping positive and want to work on yourself to create a better future for you and your family. I encourage you to hold on to those that you care about and vice versa as it can be a huge motivator for you in your recovery to do well and progress forward. It might be a good idea to share and open up to one of your son about this as you mention in your post. However, this is your journey and you have the choice to share with who you want when you feel ready to do so. It might be a great start to also access more 1 to 1 support through us to help you process this. Please do call our helpline on 0808 8020 133 where an adviser can help you to put a plan in place for support. You can also go through out netline and chat to someone through our website - our helpline is open 24/7. If you feel unsafe please call the Samaritans on 116123.
We also recommend getting in touch with StepChange to get free and confidential advice for debt management if you think you would like extra support to help manage your debts - Â https://www.stepchange.org/
Best wishes,
BrielleÂ
Forum Admin
Ive spent over 10 years gambling. Promised I'd stop and still carried on - Eaten up by shame I decided after this last relapse I'm done. Financially ruined myself multiple times and this time I brought myself to the brink of ruin.
I ended up taking talking therapy and discussing my addiction with a professional. Also stuck blocking software on my devices. Closed down my "gambling bank accounts" and bid it farewell for good. I'm about 6 months in and this is the longest I've ever been clean.Â
Gambling can't be a part of my life - I wake up everyday and tell myself "Just for today I will not gamble" - This video honestly inspired me alot aswell - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6NtjYMQ8QU
Its never too late.
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