Desperately scared

I've gambled before and I have relapsed. I'm finally at the stage where I am going to have to tell my family what mess I have got myself into. I'm terrified of the possibility that I'm going to lose my wife and children. When I gambled in the past my wife was understandably cross and she has said if I do it again it is over. I'm so scared that this evil illness has ruined my life. I've destroyed myself. My wife and children are away at the momemt. They are home tomorrow. I havnt been able to look at pictures of them today without crying. I ask for help and forgiveness. Im so sorry. I just want to have a chance to make it right. I dont deserve them. But i need their help. I'm going to have to tell my parents too. I hate the disappointment it will cause. I am so sorry for this. I have a respectful job of being a teacher and anyone that knows me will be shocked by this. I have masked it for so long I can't take the pain anymore. I'm going to a GA meeting tonight. I hope they will be able to help and give me a bit of hope.

Hi Chris1602,

Welcome to the GamCare Forum and for sharing your post.

I am sorry you are going through a really tough time at the moment, you are not alone in the way gambling activity can become a secret second life. There is plenty of support available to you and you have made a really positive step today by posting your story.

Please feel free to contact the GamCare Helpline on 0808 8020 133 or Netline to explore the additional support available to you. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week if you would like to talk to one of the GamCare HelpLine advisers.

An adviser can support you to explore what the first steps of recovery building looks like for you. 

Warm regards, 

Helen 

Forum Admin.

@iu4b7mga9j. Sorry that you are going through this.  I was in the same position last year.

A gambling addiction is a mental disorder and as such does not discriminate.  It doesn't matter what job you have, it could be anyone of us who falls to this evil illness.

You can't control the way your wife will respond but being honest and reaching out for help is definitely the best policy.  Don't underestimate the people around you.

Good luck, well done with the post and please keep us updated.  Wishing you the best as someone who has been where you are and is trying to beat this myself 

I hope it goes ok brother. Seek the help with GA and maybe therapy prove to them you’re ready to fight and beat this for yourself and then. 

I did this twice but the third time I tried was the end. I lost my wife, children and house. I don’t blame her I’m still not right now. You can do this! Get the blocks on your phone. Ring your bank and tell them you need gambling sites blocked. Face this head on before you lose everything 

Put every block in place that you possibly can. 

Of course it's going to be hard to tell your wife. Even though I don't know anything about both of you, what I can say is that gambling is an illness and I'm sure after whatever her initial reaction may be, she will support you. 

I hope you get through this. 

Thanks so much for all your posts. My plan is to tell her tonight. I'm completely terrified but I know it's the right thing to do. It's what I have to do. Whatever the outcome long term in my family I will continue to beat gambling. Give me the strength and give my wife the strength to find forgiveness one day. 

Hi sorry to hear this and hope your ok gambling addicts don't have a set piece  regarding education or job title salary savings what kind of car holiday's or how big your house is matters not a jot.put the blocks in place through the bank also moses for casinos bookies and amusement arcades and gamban for online casinos.and do it today no waiting till a set date in the future .its a game changer in life moving forward gods blessings to you 

I was in your shoes 2 months ago. Petrified of telling my wife, but petrified of continuing without. I knew I had to, I know I needed a way out if gambling or I would be unable to continue at life. It was the worst thing I’ve ever had to do and to find out the hurt I’d caused my family broke me. 2 months later I feel so much happier. My mind is clear of gambling and I can see an end in sight with my debt, albeit it’s a while away!

I really do hope you get the support you need from your family, but whatever the outcome you have to focus on beating this addiction. If you don’t you will be in the same situation again and again. Take the advice of gamcare and all the people on here. Go to GA if you can. Use all the blocks you can. Focus on you and making yourself a better person. 

Good luck mate. I hope to see you on here again fighting this addiction. 💪

I'm sorry to hear this, but it is almost comforting knowing I'm not alone, I gambled all my money for the last time a few days ago and I eventually broke down and told my wife, I have never been so scared or ashamed than that moment, she was sympathetic but then angry and I have felt sick ever since, but I know that the truth is out and over time it will be a lot better than being in that dark deep secrecy cave of gambling. Hope everything has gone ok for you, there's always people out there for you, wether it be family, friends, people who run this service or just over people like us who understand what eachother are going through. You got this.

I can't thank you all enough for the words you have written. It gives me great comfort knowing there are people out there who understand. I don't want to be known as a bad person. I feel like it at the moment for what I've done. I told my wife last night. It was understandably and obviously extremely difficult but she was more understanding than I thought she might be. More understanding than I could have hoped for and more accepting of it than I might have been if I was in her shoes. I feel like I've committed a crime and should be sentenced to prison. Time is a healer, but it is also the time I'm going to be paying off my debt. Blocks are in place, and I will be attending GA meetings. The people there and you on here have helped save me. I may probably never get the trust back from my wife. That's something I'll have to accept over time. I can't contest that feeling. I get it. But I have a chance to climb away from this evil that has been smothering me for so long. I will keep posting on here as it is such a huge help reading what people are going through as I will offer support where I can too. Thank you for you positive thoughts.

@iu4b7mga9j Well done Chris, that was a hard thing to do 👏. I always remember telling both my sister and brother and I felt exactly the same as you did. They too were so supportive, both mentally and financially. Yes, they were also angry but deep down, they know I am a good person, who has brought my son up single handedly, without any financial support from their father and worked hard all my life and just tried my best! I believe this is the reason I have had their support and I thank them both so much for being understanding, kind, thoughtful and non judgmental 😇.

With blocks in place Chris, things can only get better, believe you me. You can only move up from here on in, if you stick to your word and clock up those gamble free days. 🙏.

I wish you strength and determination on your journey.

Pink Lady. 🩷🍎.

bless you sir onwards and upwards now to s happy life

Welldone Chris for opening up here this addiction does not discriminate my family still dont understand why i gambled like it was a choice i am currenty 326 days gamble free coming up to a year i have had a couple of relapses on the way however overtime i have improved i have kept at it and know just how easy it is to get caught up on it again however this time i made a decision to vist this site atleast 3 times a week to remind myself how horrible this addiction can get it and so far it working, its ok to be vulnerable at times just keep pushing it one day at time and your life will improve too, i thought i was dumb for repeating the same mistake again its only when i started visting Ga i realised it could happen to anyone and the addiction shouldnt be taken lightly

Well done mate. You've done the quick hard bit, now you've got the long slow tough bit to do. You will slowly gain back trust from your wife, you will probably get frustrated at her being in your finances constantly. You need that though and the day you tell yourself you don't, is the day you trip up. 

You need to remember how you felt 2 days ago and never forget it. You end up back in that place, you gotta do it all again, and this time the outcome may not be as nice. Keep visiting here. I find it really helpful to see how well others are doing, see how well I'm doing, but also to see how many new members come in with exactly the same story and fears. You don't want to be back there. You want to be in the winners group for a change! Not gambling for even 1 day makes you a winner. You get to keep your money for that day. 1 day at a time and before you know it you are enjoying having money, enjoying being honest, enjoying not stressing about gambling.

Keep us up to date on your progress. Keep that good wife of yours happy. Don't let her or yourself down.

Stay strong 💪