Determined to beat

Hey,

You've taken the first step by admitting you need help bringing yourself here. I am in the same position as you, I am only just beginning my journey to recovery. I think with the support here, we can and will get the help we need to beat this.

Well done for reaching out.

Thank you! 

Yes I agree... It's such a horrible situation.

I have decided to try to not think of my losses (it doesn't help) but to think of what I can do without gambling.

Trying to get onto a site to have it tell me I'm excluded was a relief in a way, I was actually glad.

Have you registered with GAMSTOP? 

Well done to both of you for starting your journey to a better life.

@missyf123 - Tell your partner not to bail you out again! Tough thing to do, but gamblers cant be trusted with money, you've already shown this. Also if he does and you fail again, the trust will disappear. Repeated lies will only end a relationship. Other than that, put all the blocks you can in place. if you don't trust yourself, give your finances to you partner. If you don't have it, you cant spend it.

@g4pv3yauqm - You are correct. The support in here is amazing. Even the smallest of comments can brighten someone's day and inspire them to keep fighting. Join the chat rooms, read the diaries, start your own. I spend several hours a day looking around on here. It's my new addiction. 4 months gamble free and i still do it so it clearly helps.

Good luck in your journeys.

Stay strong 👍 

Hi
Thank you for coming to this forum for advice and support and reading my post.
I am a non religious person, yet I embrace spirtual values today.
In my time being in the recovery program I have witnessed so many vulnerable people who think that money and an addiction was an answer to the pains that they are not able to heal.
The addiction and obsessions just indicate that people are emotionally vulnerable.
As a parent we want our children to become healthy as they can be.
I like many people before me feared walking in to the recovery program yet in time I did it.
But sticking with recovery was very important for my well being and for my healing.
Just to abstain was hard and I use to go more than one meeting per week just to abstain.
Finding healthy meetings with healthy therapies took time.
It was helpful for some people to have people take them to the meetings.
There is gamanon which is support for the people who want to help addicts.
The addiction and obsessions just indicated that I had certain emotional triggers.
My emotional triggers were my pains I could not heal.
My emotional triggers were my fears that I could not face or reduce.
My emotional triggers were my frustrations due to my unreeasonable expectatons of people life and situations.
My emotional triggers were my loneliness due to my fears of emotional intimacy.
My emotional triggers were my boredom because I could not fulfill my needs my wants or stop procrastinating.
One important thing for me to do was hand over all finacnes over to my wife.
Then each day I was given pocket money to buy snacks coffee etc.
This being given daily pocket money was important untill I was able to learn to trust my self with small amounts of money.
By finding meetings with healthy therapies and not so much talking about money lost or talking about being in action.
With healthy therapies people are able to articualte their feelings ad emotions and cope with their emotional triggers in a much healthier way.
So after some time once people exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits then writing down daily lists was important.
Being in the recovery now over 50 years it was a life save.
Finding like minded people to share with was very important for my recovery.
On Thursday 1 st July I celebrate in Calgary 32 years clean from gambling.
My anger was due to my pains not being healed.
My anger was due to my fears not being faced or reduced.
My anger was due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.
The therapies in time lead to healing the hurt inner child in me.
The therapies in time lead to healthy intimacy with my self and with other people.
Is it healthy to live in fear.
The pains in my past that did not heal caused fears in me that I did not understand.
If it a healthy meeting we as a group reduce our fear.
If it a healthy meeting we as a group our trust grows.
If it a healthy meeting we as a group when it comes to closing we tend to talk after wards.
I am a non religious person so sharing with like minded spirtual people helped with my recovery.
Every step in recovery is about understanding what is healthy and what is unhealthy.
Procrastination is not healthy being in recovery.
Writing down our needs our wants and our goals is important to my growth even today.
Living in fear is very unhealthy for any family.
Learning to have healthy intimacy with encouragement and nurturing is important.
If some had given me money just before I walked in to the recovery program I would not be here today.
In time the hurt little child in me started to heal and come out of his fears.
By being in recovery some might exchange one unhealthy habit for another unhealthy habit this is not healthy for any one.
I understand that when I went back to gambling I made things and life much harder.
It has taken me a long time to find and heal the hurt inner child in me.
The gambling addiction was a very unhealthy form of escape, a very unhealthy form of self abuse.
A healthy Gamanon room will help people supporting the gambler to heal.
Living in fear is not healthy.
Living in fear indicates there are pains in the past not healed.
If a person takes recovery seriously he will no longer say I have to dothis or do that.
If a person takes recovery seriously he will write down his needs and his wants reglularly and get things done in healthy ways.
Even taking or driving people to the meetings help every one.
Healing love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham

@missyf123 

Yes, registered with GAMSTOP, installed GAMBAN on my devices at home and my phone and tonight I will attend my first gamblers anonymous meeting.

I used to think about what I could have done with all the money I've lost and wasted and it made me feel physically sick. Disgusted with myself. Now I'm looking to the future and beating this addiction.

@p6z38njbqm 

Thanks for the kind words and support. I joined the chat room for the first time last night and found it great. I've also been spending time looking through the forums looking at the different stages of people's journeys. I'm hopeful for my future thanks to all this.

@g4pv3yauqm 

Yes it is sickening when we think like that but we are here & we ARE going to beat it.

Well done sorting a meeting! 

Keep remembering you are not alone. 

@p6z38njbqm 

Thank you! 

I am lucky I have this chance. I will build trust back & I will do this! 

Thank you again! 😊 

Hi Missy i would strongly advice to hand over finances for the first couple of months at the height of my addiction i simply couldnt trust myself, these urgues can be very strong which is why the relapses happen, i use to feel pressure like something was over powering me and until i didnt gamble i couldnt find peace in early days are the hardest and be honest

with determination and really wanting to stop put every imagineable block in place and lead a happy gamble free life.in a few months gambling thoughts will be just a distant memory of your past but certainly not of your future 

@tazman Thank you!

Yes iv had a couple of urges today but iv resisted. Iv taken up watercolor painting! 

I actually found it easier than I thought to resist it. Plus iv got excluded from sites.

I just want to be free from it 

@g3y6a5jbds I can't wait for it to be a memory. 

I'm so ashamed & blame myself for everything at the min.

I just need to change mindset to positivity.

This forum is great for help  😁 

I was in same boat missy gambling destroys every part of you physically mentally and financially .the one win resets the desperate dopamine hit then the fun starts with the big losses no sleep not eating constantly on edge the  gamblers brain trying to convince you it's ok .to have  7 days of 19 pence spaghetti and the bag of tatties to make chips.every day.life is so much better now without that horrendous gambling addiction

@g3y6a5jbds 

Yes definitely, it was the mindset of 'just one more' etc etc... then the win made me feel fab, then I'd lose it & feel so bad, guilty, angry & when you look at it, your highly unlikely to win big & make it back. 

We are here to beat it!