Disgusted with myself

What do you want?

Stop gambling and address your underlying issues around it or just stop losing?

Thank you for your question . Made me think what I want and wish . I want to never have the urge to gamble and never gamble . Gambling has never brought me anything but shame , guilt , self loathing and total misery. I want peace of mind and I want to be in peace with myself and live a normal life.

Mr L is the ex (as far as I can tell) gambler in the house so I've no direct experience in what the urge to gamble is like although everything I read here suggests while episodes get weaker and further apart as GF time increases it's also something that can be triggered at any point. Blocks, GF time and the far clearer thought processes that come with recovery should help overcome it.

The gambling itself can be stopped by mechanical blocks virtually instantly if that's what you want. That gives you breathing space to think about what you're doing before acting on an urge. It also gives you time to get counselling (Gamcare offer free sessions) and find the support of others who have been where you are at GA. A normal life is entirely within reach. Not necessarily easily but well worth the effort.

Thank you for your response. Two questions if you don't mind .
1. "Blocks, GF time and the far clearer thought processes that come with recovery should help overcome it."

I have no clue what that means . What do you mean by that ?

2." The gambling itself can be stopped by mechanical blocks virtually instantly if that's what you want.В "

I do want to stop gambling . Will you please explain how to mechanically block it .

Thank you again for your input .

Hi Fanno 'GF' means gamble free. Blocks are things you put in place to stop. There are software blocks you can download to devices (k9, Gamban etc). Handing over finances to someone, self exclusion are all blocks. Lethe is saying they will help physically and the more time you spend NOT gambling the clearer thoughts become. Also there is a new 'gamstop' which you sign up to. Blocks will only help physically but if you don't work on your mental state, the urges and finding something else to occupy your mind you don't recover.

I cannot find out how I put my message on here please

Merry go round wrote:

Hi Fanno 'GF' means gamble free. Blocks are things you put in place to stop. There are software blocks you can download to devices (k9, Gamban etc). Handing over finances to someone, self exclusion are all blocks. Lethe is saying they will help physically and the more time you spend NOT gambling the clearer thoughts become. Also there is a new 'gamstop' which you sign up to. Blocks will only help physically but if you don't work on your mental state, the urges and finding something else to occupy your mind you don't recover.

This is my first post.im lying next to my husband right now who is blissfully unaware of my gambling problem.over the weekend. I lost my life’s savings in a moment of sheer madness.£12000 has gone on a slot game. I was only chasing £100 to start with. And I’ve ended up completely broke. I can never ever get my money back I know. I’m a 65 year old. Level headed woman.except for this thing that has me in its grip.i have worked my entire life and now have nothing to show for it. I can’t eat. Sleep. Function properly.i think I will have to tell my daughter what I have done. Or I don’t no what I might do to myself. The shame is overwhelming..the shame is the worst thing.ive let everybody I live down.im in a blackness and I can’t get out of it..

Fanno wrote: Thank you for your response. Two questions if you don't mind . 1. "Blocks, GF time and the far clearer thought processes that come with recovery should help overcome it." I have no clue what that means . What do you mean by that ? 2." The gambling itself can be stopped by mechanical blocks virtually instantly if that's what you want. " I do want to stop gambling . Will you please explain how to mechanically block it . Thank you again for your input .

I used Gamstop to block me from all UK sites.

Thank you Merry go round for the explanation. Thank you helen67 for the suggestion.
I looked up Gamstop. I do not gamble online .
I live by myself and nobody in my family knows my gambling addiction. It is a shame I am hiding from family and friends. So giving control of finances will raise questions and expose my shame .
As for self exclusion I am currently on a 2 year self exclusion program . I am from Canada and the program is run by individual provinces . Even though I am on this program I am still gambling and no one has stopped me so far. The only thing the casinos do with this program is if one is on self exclusion program and gambles and wins a jackpot they won't pay , instead they get you charged for trespassing.

Coming clean to someone you trust and handing over your finances relieves you of the toxic burden of secrets and lies and makes it very much harder for you to gamble in secret.

How would you feel if someone close was hiding and struggling with something you could help with from you? I've been on the receiving end. Mr L didn't spill until he'd doubled the debt and drained the kids savings and even then I was left to piece it together myself. You don't say whether or not you're in debt. I'm very much hoping not but it's a progressive addiction and it spirals. Do everything you can to arrest it now before you lose more than money.

Francesca - I'm sure you will get very good advice and help if you can start a new thread in the New Members section. If you scroll down to the bottom of the page there will be a new topic button.

Thank you Lethe for the advice . I have a good paying job and so far I am not in debt so far . One of the things that drives me crazy is how much I could have saved if I didn't gmble .

I will think about giving up control of my finances . But right now the idea itself makes me shudder. The thought of family and/or friends finding out my gambling makes me sweat .