Do or die

Thanks, I appreciate it.

Jamoo

Do you still believe you are going to get a win with your last £200? I can tell you now you are not and that £200 is money that you can live on over the coming weeks.

We have all been there where we think this is going to be a big win but it’s never the case and if we do win it’s all going back anyway.

Take the £200 and look for a new job, why do you have to stop after you loose all your money? You will feel a lot worse when you loose and are in the same position.

Put the blocks in now and self exclude yourself from your local bookies his will help you massively we have all been there and if you want to help yourself then these are the first two steps to getting on the road of recovery.

Good luck with your recovery and I hope you do not gamble on your pay day

BATTLE OF TIME

Considering I win every week, probably. Not winning isn't my problem, I just don't walk.. yesterday I was £430 up but I just kept playing for some reason.. 

I've been advised to seek rock bottom Because apparently that helps people wake up so if I lose it all maybe it'll help.

I see where you're coming from but honestly it won't make much difference. 

Maybe I'll hold on to half or something.. that's a good compromise.

I really hope one day when you're on top of this you'll be able to read back through your diaries and really appreciate how sick you were with all this gambling s**t

In many ways you are a shrewd dude to be making these entries whilst in the the deepest throes of this addiction, if ever you needed an effective fodder to stay off a bet and keep complacency at bay when you are in a place of well-being, well here it is in these entries.

But that's then, now psychologically and spiritually you're in a right mess... In a weird way potentially you've landscaped a bright future before addressing the present (most people do it the other way round) - I promise you if you can get well from this, youll read back the diaries and entries you have put down and realise gambling made you bonkers... It will be the best tonic to stay off a bet moving forward.

I'd love to end this on "all you have to do is stop gambling" but that would just be crass... What I will say is that comment you made about always been up and not being able to walk away... It sends shivers down my spine hearing that, I know that feeling so well...

But I know now that it was a false reality. Clean time has helped me to realise that the operator is always going to dangle carrots as a distraction while they empty my pockets in the same breath. You must understand mate that being "up" is a figment of your imagination, if you are in a position where you have more money than you started off with you'll never be "up" because your brain is firing off in all directions (think fireworks on guy Fawkes night) - even if you walk away as soon as your brain gets downtime again it will yearn for those fireworks and march you straight back to the gambling - eventually your luck will run out and "up" becomes "down, down, down"... 

And yes, this is all engineered and pre-ordained by the gambling operator in relation to snaring compulsive gamblers like you. Think fox hunting mate... Youre the fox.

So you're up and you can't walk away? Mate - when guy Fawkes night comes round look up at the sky and visualise your brain activity when you're in deep to a gambling session... What chance have you REALLY got mate ?

Winning big money was more euphoric to met than when my first and only son was born... I'm ashamed and embarrassed to admit that but I opened Pandora's box and therefore have to face that reality.

However somehow (with the help of an army of CG's in and around my life that have been assembled over time) I have managed to push the lid shut on that box so at least I can enjoy whatever time I have left on this earth pursuing those fireworks in a way that doesn't mean staking my family, my sanity and my future for the return.

From the bottom of my heart i hope you get a hold of this because if you can... All you'll have to do from then on is read back the messages you wrote at this point in your life for the resolve and reassurance required to stay away from a bet for the foreseeable.

That was deep. I almost feel bad I don't have much in response to all of that because if I beat this.. I'm not looking back, I definitely won't be on here reading how weak and crazy I am now which I'm aware of unfortunately only in hindsight but obviously when I'm gambling.. like you said, fireworks. 

We'll see what happens but I'm sure I'll be fine. I'll seek help and do whatever I can (after Friday)

£430 is a lot of money. If you're up by that amount then no doubt you are staking a lot of money in the first place - gambling beyond your means? Unless you are super rich? Then if so, why gamble in the first place?

The illness is governing you but youve allowed it to as you've lost all sense of hope and self-esteem. The illness has moved into that position since it was vacant (hope: life changing win - self-esteem: winning money as a form of reward and self-gratification)

The more you frame this as the illness and the less you frame this as you are a someone who just can't stop gambling then the better chance you'll have of waking up from the slumber and actually striving for a second chance at life.

I start off with like 20/30 a spin, as I win more it increases, I was at about 60 spin, the other month when I was £1500 up it was 100 a spin. I'm a normal person who dis warehouse jobs and I'm in debt, definitely not rich.

I think you're right and I'll try to change my mindset. I'm literally a different person to yesterday, I'm surprised yesterday I got how I got. 

I thought that I'd take £500 in casino and it would be a final goodbye.  If I won I'd walk if I lost I'd walk. I lost, I lost it all!!! 

Loosing everything you have will not make you feel any better.  The fact your writing here shows you want to stop 

You know what. I'm going to try and use the money to quickly start a business then ??‍♂️  you all seem adamant I shouldn't risk it all so ok, I'll try to set a fraction aside to gamble like 50 and like 100 and whatever I'll hold on to and try make work for me. 

We`re gamblers ! That’s why we are here , I did the old " one last win " "one last payday " You know what i did it ! Won 700 on my "last go " Lost it all back the next evening. That’s us,  that’s what we do. When you’ve stopped kidding yourself and you want to stop you can really try then.

I hope this doesn’t sound harsh, but it’s a genuine question. Why did you post on here the other night and what were you looking to get out of it?

You explained you cannot control your gambling and how bad it is making you feel. However, your first post said you were going to gamble on Friday and you have maintained that ever since. 

It appears you have no desire to stop gambling or to put steps in place to stop. So, what are you looking for? How can others help you?

please believe that many, many others have been where you are before - if not worse off - so do not think no one understands so how could anyone possible help. 

I was helpless and didn't know what to do.. 

If I lose after Friday then keep going on about gambling then ignore me but I feel positive about it

I want all my problems to go away quickly if I'm honest, that's what I want. I want to be able to walk because I genuinely don't believe the act of gambling is bad I think it's humans and our lack of self control. I think it's about doing what you can afford not giving it all you have. If Friday comes and I gamble with 30 then leave it win or lose.. to me that's a big step and a win.

Dear @1punchjamoo,

You are right, gambling is not inherently bad. But you will have to face the fact that it is bad for you. You have been here before, you try and control it every time, and you fail every time. This is because you have a gambling problem. If you were allergic to nuts you couldn't say either 'I'll just have 1 or 2 nuts, it'll be OK' because you most likely wouldn't stop at 1 or 2, and then you probably have a very serious allergic reaction.

As hard as it is, you need to approach your own situation from a different angle. Because if you keep repeating what you've done so far (trying to gamble in a controlled way) you will keep getting the same result (you will lose control, lose all your money and end up feeling really low).

Please take up our offer for a call-back or contact us yourself so we can talk about all this and to discuss a recovery plan.

All the best,

Eva

Forum Admin

I lost it all... You were all right. You win. 

4 phone contracts months behind, no cineworld, loans that ain't been paid all year and no income..

Only myself to blame. I'm just gonna lie in bed and wait for this all to fix itself I'm too drained to do anything I just don't care now.

Do you think you're ready? It won't fix itself.. Do u wnat to change?