Hi Guys.
I'm 24 and currently still in university.
I've always been gambling on and off, playing poker and the likes but it never really got out of hand until last year, when my friend introduced me to table games like blackjack, 3 card etc. It was then that my gambling got out of hand and I lost about 2400 in 3 nights at the casino.
That feeling the next day was indescribable. For about 2-3 weeks I felt numb and disassociated and I told myself never to gamble again. I came clean to my parents (who funded my university) and got an earful, but I took it as a lesson learnt.
Just last month, I decided to go to the casino as my friends and I were celebrating the new year. I told myself "just 300 pounds and I'm out regardless" and was actually doing pretty fine until I lost it all. I don't know if it's the casino environment, the lack of sleep, the thrill of the game or the idea of chasing my losses and the disbelief that my "method" went wrong. Before I knew it I withdrew another few hundred and ended up losing 1500 that night.
It really hit me hard and I was so angry at myself that I fell into this trap again. 1500 at that point in time felt like a lot and the thought of simply "throwing" the hard earned money my parents earned away hit me. I tried to let it go but I just kept wanting to breakeven. I told myself once I breakeven, I'd wash my hands off gambling for good. Fast forward 3 weeks and many hands of blackjack, baccarat and in-play soccer bets, I was down 5000. I was absolutely crushed with no appetite nor the motivation to do anything. All I could think about during that phase was to get back in and try to get it back. The longest period I went "grinding" was 19 hours throughout the night on my mobile phone. It was scary how I wasn't tired and I wasn't hungry. I just kept playing and playing and playing. I got to about 2200 but threw it all away as I thought I was on a "hot streak".
I had a friend who was with me on this journey, we came up with schemes and betting plans to recoup and we both lost a lot. However just today he won 6000 from blackjack and recovered everything. I was 3-4 days clean (because I wiped my bank account) and when he transferred me some money, I put 300 quid back in to try and recreate his story. I lost and that's when I finally broke. You hear all these stories of people winning huge sums and getting it back but it never really happens to you does it?
My friends have asked me to stop and I told them I would yet I still continue. I asked myself many times if I've a problem, and try to rationalise my actions. I told myself I don't have a problem because gambling has lost its thrill and excitement. I no longer play for the thrill but simply just to chase my losses. And yet I haven't gone a day without it for the past 3 weeks.
I honestly don't know what to do at this point. I can't bear to tell my parents and break their hearts and I can't seem to let go of the loss. The scariest part is how desensitised you get to the loss. How after losing 500, another 500 doesn't seem much to you.. How I thought 1500 was a huge sum and now it's less than half of my total.. It's really true what they say about gambling, about how you never really stop until you've nothing.
I still crave going back in. Do any of you share similar experiences with me and how are you guys coping now? Is it the addiction of gambling or the idea of chasing your losses? Is this an illness, a disease?
Thanks for the read, I just really needed to let it all out.
Hi deekay deekay. It's becoming all too common amongst uni students gambling. It's often encouraged by the gambling companies to supplement your grant. The only thing it does is kind their pockets. Yes you do have a problem. You need to address this now. Use the support of your friends who have asked you to stop. Your friend who is gambling with you and transferring money to you is enabling you. Call gamcare get some advice and support, they offer free counselling. Find a GA meeting asap. You will be amazed how many youngsters just like you are there. This will get worse if you don't get help. Not only does gambling have financial consequences, it also damages your mental health. You may just be reeling from your losses at the moment, but if you go back it will steadily impair your judgement . Get some help, tell someone today.
Hi deekaydeekay
You have a serious gambling problem here and need to take some actions to deal with it immediately or there is only one way this is going and that is more losses with all the mental and financial implications that has.
Your parents bailing you out when you lost the first £2400 was unfortunately not the best outcome (although I am sure they did it with the best intentions) as you never really had to face up to the consequences of what you had done and therefore did not take any actions to prevent yourself gambling again.
First question you need to ask yourself is do you really want to give up gambling or do you just want to stop losing? Hopefully you want to stop gambling otherwise your future life is highly likely to be full of despair and disappointment. Try reading a few of the diaries of people on here who have had long term gambling problems and it is generally not pretty. The financial implications are often the least of it. The mental health issues, the broken relationships, criminal records and in a few desperate cases even suicide.
You are still craving gambling despite the losses because your brain wants the endorphins that gambling provides. I came to gambling fairly late in life but still astonished myself how I could be crying myself to sleep in utter despair one night after losing thousands of pounds yet a couple of days later be straight back online depositing yet more money. Our behaviour when gambling is totally irrational.
You are £5,000 in the hole at the moment which is a lot. That is not coming back but if you carry on gambling it will £10,000 or £20,000 in the blink of an eye and you will look back on today and dream of being able to go back to only having lost £5000.
Merry Go Round has offered you great advice on what to do next. Please do something about this today.
Good luck with whatever you chose to do and keep talking on here.
Muststop123
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
