Enough is enough and it's time for help and change

Well done for making the first step, feels good to get it all out doesn't it, I re-read what I wrote everyday and read others and know I'm not alone. Lots of help and support on here, hope you can beat this!

You sound like me when I was gambling.. from 17 to 37, I tried everything to stop, but couldn't. I lied, manipulated, cheated, conned, to be honest I was good at it too - I lasted 20 years without suspicion until things caught up with me. You are to young to be stuck in this evil bubble that you believe be the answers to all your problems. Right now, your addiction is just beginning.. you already see this as you have recognised and admitted it.. But stopping is another thing - I will be bold enough to assume you have come on here because you've spent the last of your money? If so the issue you have is when the next cash flow comes in. Everyone in here knows how your head is working.. I was you! Have you spoken to anyone yet other than on here? Parents? Friend? G.A? I can help you but you need to help yourself first.. This is a good start - but you need to ask yourself if you really want to stop.. Peace man x

Hi jonmon, yes that's exactly it! I have lost the last of my money and have decided now enough is enough, I get paid Friday which is also the day after my birthday so that's when it's going to be hardest with the money coming in but if I can go a period of time after this money comes to me without gambling then I feel the only way is up. I feel that I do really want to stop. I've had family members cin bad situations due to this problem and I feel something in my mind had clicked Thanks for your comment! X

Jonmon2580 wrote:

You sound like me when I was gambling.. from 17 to 37, I tried everything to stop, but couldn't. I lied, manipulated, cheated, conned, to be honest I was good at it too - I lasted 20 years without suspicion until things caught up with me. You are to young to be stuck in this evil bubble that you believe be the answers to all your problems. Right now, your addiction is just beginning.. you already see this as you have recognised and admitted it.. But stopping is another thing - I will be bold enough to assume you have come on here because you've spent the last of your money? If so the issue you have is when the next cash flow comes in. Everyone in here knows how your head is working.. I was you! Have you spoken to anyone yet other than on here? Parents? Friend? G.A? I can help you but you need to help yourself first.. This is a good start - but you need to ask yourself if you really want to stop.. Peace man x

I went into rehab on 26th October 2015, I was there for 9 months. If I hadn't have gone I'd be dead now. One year later I wrote a statement on Facebook about how it feels to be a compulsive gambler.. I will put it below. See if it resonates with you....

Inside the mind of a gambling addict.

A year ago today I checked myself into a rehabilitation clinic for compulsive gambling. After 20 years of heavy betting, I finally gave in and admitted that I was powerless to beat my addiction without professional help so,with the support of my family I booked in and and on 26th October disappeared into rehab for 8 months and came out of the other side ready to start a new life..

For those of you that are going to read on I want to try and explain what it feels like to have an addiction, how it starts and and what happens in your head.

At first, gambling is a wonderful new experience, I'm not talking about a couple of pounds here and there, I'm talking about high risk gambling - bet after bet after bet, risk really means risk - heart pounding out of your chest, dragons in your stomach (no butterflies here mate) sweating, catching your breath. A whole new universe of adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin fuelled fun that you never want to end - time practically stops.. and this is all happening whilst in a dirty, grotty book makers full of old poor people and losers - but you're not a loser, you're not one of them you're in your magical place and you're unbeatable.
Gambling is generally viewed as a negative thing to do, but nearly everyone does it in one form or another, we are raised with it - chance, risk, the lottery, bingo, even putting a pound in the pool table and playing winner stays on. It is true, most people just dabble and live happy lives but for some, the rabbit hole goes much much deeper.

It starts off harmless, but after while it gets harder and harder to write off a loss - you find yourself frustrated that you placed the wrong bet, you knew the other horse or dog or whatever was going to win and you didn't back it.. could have been a grand up there! So you start chasing your losses, then, before you know it you've spent more than you should and Lady Luck starts to trespass into your life and stick her nose into places she shouldn't. You end up not going out to something previously arranged because you've reached too deep into your pocket that day, then, you're alone thinking about it, you go back to gambling to try and retrieve some of what you lost - there goes your wages.. Then your savings.. then you start borrowing money from trusting friends, family, exhausting credit cards, getting loans out because you know that at some point soon you gonna get it all back and then you can stop! But this is never the case. Then the lying starts, oh the lying is never ending, the stories start off simple - I had an unexpected bill, I needed to help a friend, I lost my wallet blah blah but over time, they get so elaborate and you have the will power and capability to blag anyone because the only thing that matters is getting back to your magical world, your universe of wonder. This becomes normality, and borrowing is just borrowing - no harm done, they will all get it back eventually and because this has become your normal life anything you do can easily be justified.

Over time the problem spirals but because you're in a dream world you don't see it, everything is fine in your head and because you have no patience, and no prudence there is no danger and as far as you're concerned you're just trying to win at life.
Things do catch up though, people catch up, but because you know you're clever and sharp and charming and one step ahead of the game you can always wangle your way out of any problem or confrontation - and there is a sense of pride in this, being able to twist and turn your tales and always be able to back track and remember which story was when and how it was related to who.. this is a real skill.

When things do finally collapse, when you have exhausted all possible means of obtaining money, and you've been fired from your 4th job in 6 months and you have people wanting their money back and friends and family no longer trust you and you're about to get evicted and your girlfriends dumped you, then you finally say you might have a bit of a problem. You get some help, go to Gamblers Anonymous.. things are ok for a few weeks. You get a new job, people have written off debts and someone gives you a roof.. you'r never going to gamble again... Then you get paid. And you relapse.. and you gamble10 times harder.. you start stealing, but you're never stealing your only borrowing (I need to be clear on this - no gambler ever steals, well they do but not in their head) and you have every intention of paying it back but you keep losing because your bets are ridiculous. And then you have nothing - only it's worse this time because you can't tell your family you've done it again.. how can you tell them you've thrown all the forgiveness and help back in their faces.. How the f**k are you going to get this money back that you took - from the safe at work, from housemates who gave you their rent? How the f**k does one clamber their way out of this HUGE f*****g mess....

That's when the self loathing starts, the guilt, the abyss of depression, the paranoia, the suicide thoughts.. the crying and the hiding and more guilt and self loathing and suicide thoughts.. And still wanting to gamble..

This was my life on repeat for 20 years and you know what? It exhausted me - nearly killed me and stole 2 decades of my life. However, going to Gordon Moody rehabilitation clinic was the only hand I had left and it was scary, and long. But dare I say, it worked (so far) - I haven't gambled since the 26th October 2015 and to think I ever will again scare the living s**t out of me.

Gambling is pure and utter evil - a horrible and misunderstood addiction that sucks the life out of normal everyday people and destroys their families and breaks their homes.
I'm lucky, I had the unconditional love and support from my family who stood strong and tall by my side - for that I am eternally grateful.. without them I would be lost, or in a gutter, or dead - and I don't want to be any of those things..

If you read this then well done!

Oh - If you're worried about anyone gambling then hit me up and I will pass on any help I can..

Happy One year Anniversary to me 

Peace out x

I've read it all and I couldn't describe it better, the emotions and feelings stayed in that paragraph I've experienced, I've called Samaritan a fe times! Thanks so much for your help already and congrats for your progress so far x

quote=Jonmon2580]

I went into rehab on 26th October 2015, I was there for 9 months. If I hadn't have gone I'd be dead now. One year later I wrote a statement on Facebook about how it feels to be a compulsive gambler.. I will put it below. See if it resonates with you....

Inside the mind of a gambling addict.

A year ago today I checked myself into a rehabilitation clinic for compulsive gambling. After 20 years of heavy betting, I finally gave in and admitted that I was powerless to beat my addiction without professional help so,with the support of my family I booked in and and on 26th October disappeared into rehab for 8 months and came out of the other side ready to start a new life..

For those of you that are going to read on I want to try and explain what it feels like to have an addiction, how it starts and and what happens in your head.

At first, gambling is a wonderful new experience, I'm not talking about a couple of pounds here and there, I'm talking about high risk gambling - bet after bet after bet, risk really means risk - heart pounding out of your chest, dragons in your stomach (no butterflies here mate) sweating, catching your breath. A whole new universe of adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin fuelled fun that you never want to end - time practically stops.. and this is all happening whilst in a dirty, grotty book makers full of old poor people and losers - but you're not a loser, you're not one of them you're in your magical place and you're unbeatable.
Gambling is generally viewed as a negative thing to do, but nearly everyone does it in one form or another, we are raised with it - chance, risk, the lottery, bingo, even putting a pound in the pool table and playing winner stays on. It is true, most people just dabble and live happy lives but for some, the rabbit hole goes much much deeper.

It starts off harmless, but after while it gets harder and harder to write off a loss - you find yourself frustrated that you placed the wrong bet, you knew the other horse or dog or whatever was going to win and you didn't back it.. could have been a grand up there! So you start chasing your losses, then, before you know it you've spent more than you should and Lady Luck starts to trespass into your life and stick her nose into places she shouldn't. You end up not going out to something previously arranged because you've reached too deep into your pocket that day, then, you're alone thinking about it, you go back to gambling to try and retrieve some of what you lost - there goes your wages.. Then your savings.. then you start borrowing money from trusting friends, family, exhausting credit cards, getting loans out because you know that at some point soon you gonna get it all back and then you can stop! But this is never the case. Then the lying starts, oh the lying is never ending, the stories start off simple - I had an unexpected bill, I needed to help a friend, I lost my wallet blah blah but over time, they get so elaborate and you have the will power and capability to blag anyone because the only thing that matters is getting back to your magical world, your universe of wonder. This becomes normality, and borrowing is just borrowing - no harm done, they will all get it back eventually and because this has become your normal life anything you do can easily be justified.

Over time the problem spirals but because you're in a dream world you don't see it, everything is fine in your head and because you have no patience, and no prudence there is no danger and as far as you're concerned you're just trying to win at life.
Things do catch up though, people catch up, but because you know you're clever and sharp and charming and one step ahead of the game you can always wangle your way out of any problem or confrontation - and there is a sense of pride in this, being able to twist and turn your tales and always be able to back track and remember which story was when and how it was related to who.. this is a real skill.

When things do finally collapse, when you have exhausted all possible means of obtaining money, and you've been fired from your 4th job in 6 months and you have people wanting their money back and friends and family no longer trust you and you're about to get evicted and your girlfriends dumped you, then you finally say you might have a bit of a problem. You get some help, go to Gamblers Anonymous.. things are ok for a few weeks. You get a new job, people have written off debts and someone gives you a roof.. you'r never going to gamble again... Then you get paid. And you relapse.. and you gamble10 times harder.. you start stealing, but you're never stealing your only borrowing (I need to be clear on this - no gambler ever steals, well they do but not in their head) and you have every intention of paying it back but you keep losing because your bets are ridiculous. And then you have nothing - only it's worse this time because you can't tell your family you've done it again.. how can you tell them you've thrown all the forgiveness and help back in their faces.. How the f**k are you going to get this money back that you took - from the safe at work, from housemates who gave you their rent? How the f**k does one clamber their way out of this HUGE f*****g mess....

That's when the self loathing starts, the guilt, the abyss of depression, the paranoia, the suicide thoughts.. the crying and the hiding and more guilt and self loathing and suicide thoughts.. And still wanting to gamble..

This was my life on repeat for 20 years and you know what? It exhausted me - nearly killed me and stole 2 decades of my life. However, going to Gordon Moody rehabilitation clinic was the only hand I had left and it was scary, and long. But dare I say, it worked (so far) - I haven't gambled since the 26th October 2015 and to think I ever will again scare the living s**t out of me.

Gambling is pure and utter evil - a horrible and misunderstood addiction that sucks the life out of normal everyday people and destroys their families and breaks their homes.
I'm lucky, I had the unconditional love and support from my family who stood strong and tall by my side - for that I am eternally grateful.. without them I would be lost, or in a gutter, or dead - and I don't want to be any of those things..

If you read this then well done!

Oh - If you're worried about anyone gambling then hit me up and I will pass on any help I can..

Happy One year Anniversary to me 

Peace out x

What I have achieved is irrelevent at this moment. Right now you have choices to make. You seem like a bright lad, if you have a good (and I mean good) bond with your father (I'm sorry about your mum) then you have to tell him.. Your mum and dad..they made you, your dad unconditionally loves you and I hope, will help you through this.. believe me, he probably already knows and I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to lose a wife and a son.. be it now or in 10 years when you've f****d everything up, no money, no partner, no home, no credit, nowhere to turn.. eventually you will have to admit that you are broken.

If you can talk to him, go to G.A with him, it didn't work for me at the time but that's because I didn't want to give up gambling.. and I suffered for it. They have evenings where relations can go whilst said family addict is at the main meeting, they get insight into what gambling is really about and the effects it has. As I said, I hated it because I believed I was better than all the people in those meetings, I could cure myself.. Might be the same for you too - As much as I would like to think you can do it alone I'm afraid I doubt it.. your brain has a unique way of justifying things.. even if they are wrong. Let's experiment.. you get paid on Friday.. that's the test.. You can either, give your money to a trusted one (even then you will find any reason to get it back), you can keep it and see what happens.. even writing this takes me back to all the times I tried to do what I'm suggesting to you now.. all of them are insanely hard - there is no easy way out. What's your job may I ask? Do you live at home? And are you a loner?

Also, you joined a year ago so this has been going on a while no?

Alright jonmon! Unfortunately my dad did a runner with another bird when I was 12, he then decided to have nothing to do with me or my brother when my mum died of cancer. And I'm an electrician apprentice and I live with family and thankfully I'm not a loner, just don't want to tell anyone to

quote=Jonmon2580]

What I have achieved is irrelevent at this moment. Right now you have choices to make. You seem like a bright lad, if you have a good (and I mean good) bond with your father (I'm sorry about your mum) then you have to tell him.. Your mum and dad..they made you, your dad unconditionally loves you and I hope, will help you through this.. believe me, he probably already knows and I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to lose a wife and a son.. be it now or in 10 years when you've f****d everything up, no money, no partner, no home, no credit, nowhere to turn.. eventually you will have to admit that you are broken.

If you can talk to him, go to G.A with him, it didn't work for me at the time but that's because I didn't want to give up gambling.. and I suffered for it. They have evenings where relations can go whilst said family addict is at the main meeting, they get insight into what gambling is really about and the effects it has. As I said, I hated it because I believed I was better than all the people in those meetings, I could cure myself.. Might be the same for you too - As much as I would like to think you can do it alone I'm afraid I doubt it.. your brain has a unique way of justifying things.. even if they are wrong. Let's experiment.. you get paid on Friday.. that's the test.. You can either, give your money to a trusted one (even then you will find any reason to get it back), you can keep it and see what happens.. even writing this takes me back to all the times I tried to do what I'm suggesting to you now.. all of them are insanely hard - there is no easy way out. What's your job may I ask? Do you live at home? And are you a loner?

Sounds like you had it pretty rough mate.. What do you gamble on? an't just be football? I assume it's the machines and online betting? I can only go off what little I know about you and from what you wrote in your first statement you're in pretty deep for someone your age.. What I can say for sure is you won't be able to do it alone, you can help yourself by coming on here but it's no fix, without being able to confide your at risk of going down the same old road when you get paid.. maybe you could talk to your boss? Ask them to keep your wages and pay you at the end of the month while you work out how you're not going to give it all to the bookies.. Again the problem with that is actually doing it.. If your going online then ban yourself from all the sites you can think of before you get paid.. Maybe call up Gordon Moody Association in Dudley.. that's where I went.. they will help you more than you know.. but first step is telling someone you trust.. I would strongly advise this..