The title says it all really, I’ve had long periods of abstinence followed by swift dances with the devil.
Last night, holding the phone at an angle so Mrs. G could not see black Jack, black Jack, black Jack. If was only a small amount but it was briskly over and me rummaging around for more bank cards. I had won but winning can be easy, it’s the walking away that’s hard.
This morning I wrote to the site and they did all the blocks. Then I did GAMSTOP. That will help but it can just make you go seedier.
Spoke to a counsellor at GAMCARE thinking that that would solve all my problems……. She pointed me here.
Started at age 13 - Fruit machines
Boozing, fruit machines and then about 15 years ago found online casinos.
Quick hits
Eyes closed - Hit the button - Red or black. Does not matter the result it’s all gambling tokens at the end of the day.
18 years ago Mrs.G decided to open the credit card statement - she never does that, why did she have to do that. I had maxed us out.
I keep bobbing in, bobbin out, sneaky sneaky. 25 years dry, and as many sly
I have lost a huge amount of money, from 1978 till last night. And I mean huge. I mourn that money, I’m ashamed of myself, but inside I still want to play. Especially the blackjack when you have a live dealer, I can do that, easy peasy, as long as they hurry up. Get on with it I’ve games to play, but I cannot afford it mentally, morally and relationship wise. I’m exhausted.
Thank you for reading my drivel. I’m worried ? about what I’m capable of and I am on my own, my wife will never be supportive
I just happened to come across this site on Facebook, probably because a friend mentioned it the other day. I read your post and set up a Gamcare account.
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Like you, I'm exhausted mate! Done in with the losses! And the amount of effort I'm putting in to make other avenues of money to cover my losses.Â
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My job allows me flexibility and I've seen myself in the bookies for 4/5 sometimes even 6 hours a day when I really should be out working! As my job is contracted I now find myself doing 2/3 other jobs just to bring in money that I've already lost to cover my bills.Â
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Nothing seems to be enough! Could be up a few grand and think, this is it I'm on a winning streak and before I know it I'm -£500 sometimes more.Â
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I have went through GamStop so don't personally have online accounts. Although I set one up on my wife's name and blocked the slots so that i can only put coupons on online.Â
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I cut my bank card up over a year ago so I couldn't use my card in the bookies, because I wouldn't use the joint card in the bookies. But a mate that also has a gambling problem comes with me to the bookies and I transfer the money to his account to then use his card in the bookies.Â
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I've got myself in to so much debt just to be able to gamble and if my wife knows she would flip! Because with everything going on and cost of living, we are struggling! But we are probably struggling even more because of my gambling! If I can just stop we would probably be a lot more comfortable!Â
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I found your post relatable and just wanted to let you know your not alone!Â
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f**k knows what to do!Â
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