Feel like I'm in a living hell

@sick_n_tired

Sorry to hear that you are struggling with things at the moment . 

Please do contact us on our helpline 0808 8020 133 or on our online chat.

Support is available for you to recover from this and to try and beat it. 

All the best 

Forum Admin

Dan.

First thing you need to do is to ask yourself if you really want to stop. Without a yes, your journey will continue. Transparency is to ask someone else to check your accounts. Do you have an accountant for your business? If yes then give them access to "look only" at your accounts so they can check the daily flows. That will bring your gambling person into line. Accountants are tough but fair in their judgements and they won't be played. As you are a business owner you will need quick help for your own issues as you need to function. I would look at hypnosis as it helps faster. There are no quick solutions to your situation. Like the phoenix, you will need to go through the fire before you get to the other side so it is time to make some serious decisions because going right into the gutter before you turn is a very tough ride.

All the best

C

Thanks C. 

Yes, I do want to stop gambling at the moment, but I know that in a few weeks or months I'll feel the urges to do it again. I've got into a pattern of stopping for a few months, then relapsing big time.

I've thought about hiring an accountant. I usually do all the books myself, and would resent paying somebody to do it for me, but I suppose the amount I'd pay to them would pale into insignificance compared to what I'm prepared to gamble away. If I do hire an accountant, I'm not sure that would be enough to stop me. If I get the urges I'll just do it anyway and fire them. I need to get rid of the urges somehow. It terrifies me that they're going to come back and I could obliterate things in my life even more than I've done already.

Dan 

Hi Dan and Welcome!

You will get help here because we understand. We were all on that road and there is no end to what a gambling addiction will make us do.

You have to be ready for the born again moment of openness and honesty. You need help to do the cold turkey and restrict access to cash.

You can forget all thoughts about ego and being a grown man that must surely have some control. Like us you are not in control of your own mind. I dont believe therapy works until the strong foundations are in place. You havent stopped because gambling is an open door to you

The best intentions are meaningless unless you back it up with a support network of blocks.

It was very hard to tell my father that I gambled say £700 per session. It puts him into a numb shock as he slowly computed what to say to me. he grew up poor and the thought of gambling (beyond one lottery ticket) is completelyalien to him. I lost the trust but it was a small price to pay compared with an addiction that was killing me.

There is ultimately no shame in admitting it because you need help. You will get help when you let people in.

You can live on an allowance so dont let your addicted mind con you. You are scared of not being in control but there is no reason to be scared of recovery.

What you should be scared of is the past repeating itself. You should be very wary that you were out of your mind with a drug addiction for gambling.

You need to reach out to people close. Its not just about one blurb on a forum...are you truly ready because actions are needed?

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Listen to Allen Carr The easy way to stop gambling. He has a way of explaining things. Urges and triggers are pretty deeply rooted in our subconscious and recoding that takes a bit of effort. The way I got by was learning all I could about NLP because it shows you how the mind works and that knowledge we really need to know because without mindfulness you will just be using habitual behaviour which means more gambling. We are basically on autopilot most of the time and that is why we do things without thinking. There is lots to tell around this but start finding your own way and you will quickly be busy with learning interesting things about yourself that you were perhaps not aware of.

All the best

C

hi

The only way to truly quit gambling is if you want to do it.

You sound very low and like you've truly come to the conclusion you don't want to do it anymore.

I did it for ten years and I feel like I've been robbed of the last 10 years. I felt id put so much time and effort into it that I was sure I'd come up with a way to beat the casino. Truth is, I haven't hence why I'm here.

I got advice with my debts from stepchange a year ago. They were fantastic. They told me I could enter a DRO (although because you own a house your option would be bankruptcy). I have about 4 more days until I'm £20,000 debt free. The first time in ten years I can breathe!

Also, I second what @c43h has said about Alan Carr. I was very skeptical before reading the book but if you have a open mind you'll really change your viewpoints on gambling. It's definitely helped me along the right path.

I too had a course of CBT. it was amazing and changed my way of thinking. 

I am on day 187. Since all this talk of Corona I'm struggling the last few days too. 

Sorry to hear about your wife leaving with the kids. She should be supporting you not running when it gets tough. I was impressed with you rewriting the html though! That's extreme!! 

I don't know what other advice I can give you that would help. Try and figure a way out of the mess that you've created. There is always a way of moving forwards if you really want it. 

Spend x 

Hello,

I hope you've managed to stay free from gambling. One thing I noted was that you mentioned online gambling. That was my downfall too and by registering with Gamstop I managed to stop, I've been GF for some time now and am managing to get through the debt repayment little by little. Unfortunately you can't opt in for a lifetime ban but 5 years is pretty good.

Take care.