feeling so low

hey wrapper, massive step coming on this site well done. theres plenty of advice and different views on here use them find out what works best for you.

im wondering if u gambled before ur marriage ended or something u just started?

start a diary if ur gunna make it post ur thoughts speak to the guys on netline. there good people.im only 6 days into my recovery it is hard but willpower and telling somebody special to me is helping me

so good luck with it all my friend.

dan

hi wrapper, well done for coming on here. I went on netline today and found it very helpful. Also reading the posts here. Good luck and take care xx

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Wrapper

On August 30th 2005 I lost £15k on online poker thru ******* the next day my mum died after a long illness I was at the absolute brink , since then over time I am afraid to say that my gambling got worse, I now have nothing but I have stopped gambling and the one thing I am finding is peace in my life , it is sooooo hard but stay strong and try to get this thing beaten.

Stay strong and u will beat it and remember we can only do this on a day by day basis. Adopt the day by day approach and believe me u will feel better . The self loathing is immense but over time and time away from gambling improves your sleep , health welfare and you will feel better

Keep strong mate.

Thanks mancity51 for your advice, I thought I could beat the gambling bug on my own and I hadn't bet for nearly 4 months but it's always there, good to know that you are feeling better and that there is light at the end of the tunnel, how have you come to terms with losing a massive amount of money, it has me permanently depressed just thinking of what I've lost and what I could have done with that money, the urge to win it back and ultimately lose even more is so strong, how do you cope with this?

I cope pretty well considering , I now have absolutely nothing apart from debt that is. I also lost my job on 31st Oct last year so have a lot of time to think. I do get very depressed sometimes but just go for long walks /runs to get my head back. I also speak with my wife alot about how I feel which I never did before and it helps. I am completely consumed with trying to get a job as well so that takes up alot of my time. I am studying and reading alot and I must admit that often I will freeze and worry about what I have done and the s**t I have landed my family in but I somehow get over it and with each passing day away from gambling I am feeling happier and more content

Mancity51, thanks for your honesty and advice, right now I don't feel like I want to go on, life is too painful, I was, I thought happily married and was devastated when it failed, I started gambling as when I won it felt magnificent and killed the pain but I now understand that no win was ever big enough and ultimately there's only one outcome in the end but that's easy to say now, although your situation is obviously bad mancity51, you can take a lot of heart that you have the support of your wife & family, I am alone which increases the pain. I got another email from ********* this morning, they have put another 50 pounds in my account, they did this yesterday and I lost 3 grand, they know what they are doing. thanks again mancity51 for you input, I hope as time goes on I will start to get over this and feel better, it's just so painful at the moment and I am disgusted with myself but only one person, me can help me so Ineed to try and fight back.

Wrapper ,

One thing you are not and that is on your own. There are plenty of people on here who work together to quit gambling and get emotionally stronger. Get on the chat from 2-3 each day, it's chaired by trained counsellors and they are a great help to all. I have found then invaluable in my recovery.

If you are at work then there is a further session from 8-9 in the evenings, also you can speak to a councellor at anytime and they are fantastic help

hi wrapper when i read your first post it was like i had written it. how low can we get, i have been internet free for about 10 days i blocked every site i could, the reason we didnt find this site when we had money to gamble is because we thought we were above it all and we thought we knew what we were doing. as for sitting down and thinking what we could have done with the money we have lost will only hurt you more. ITS GONE, and there is nothing we can do to get it back. there is a saying that WE R TOO BUSY LOOKING BACK AT THE DOOR THAT HAS CLOSED THAN LOOKING AT THE DOOR THAT IS OPEN IN FRONT OF US. i wish you all the luck in the world with your first steps

just to let you know i started when my father died, a year later my mum died and i felt numb, i have lost £92,000 cash and £50,000 in debt. i am also a single mum. its a long long road. i opened my eyes when my mum died, she left me her house, o*g i got soooo scared that i would gamble her house, so it was time to do something sensible for once. when u said no-one knows and every one thinks your great. me too they think i am an upstanding citizen. if only they knew. good luck

Hi,

to everyone, I have not been on this site for over 5 years, since my post, got an email from gamcare today and logged in and read my initial posts, I am one of the lucky ones, I got control of my gambling and used my brains and started to make a living with my brains, I will always have the gambling demon and must always fight it and still suffer from low self esteem and have never been in another serious relationship but financially I am now in a good place, maybe I should not say this but I used my knowledge of numbers to turn the tables on the bookmakers, gambling is a curse, an illness and has caused me so much pain but I have come out the other side, I only wish every member on here can too come out the other side

How have you managed to do this? That's what I need. To make good of myself and see it in a positive light. In real need of some guidance here, cheers.

Hello superstar1,

I cannot really write on this forum how I achieved this as it would be wrong and go against what this website's goals are, my gambling demons will probably always be there but are now for me a small issue as opposed to 5 years ago when they were a major issue as I said I am one of the lucky ones, bookmakers' goal as a company is to make as much money from as many people as possible, they're not too bothered about the consequences and the horrific pain they cause.

superstar1 I have just read your posts and I feel for you, you are just a young man, you have a beautiful girlfriend, a good job, loving parents and are about to move into your own home, god I am so jealous of you, you have everything in front of you, sure just now is painful but in time you will look back on these events and be in a weird way glad that it happened, we all make mistakes, every one of us, that's all you've done made some mistakes, hardly worthy of making you feel as bad as you do now, only you can control your gambling, like me the demons will always be there but if they are there and under control then that is fine, there is no need for you ever to play onlne roullette again, you know what the outcome will be, sure you will get wins but ultimately the painful depressing loss will come and wipe out x100 the good feeling you had when you won, NO regular player of online roulette wins, it's stastically impossible, the odds are in the bookmakers favour and his bank is so much bigger than yours so ultimately and eventually he gets to keep all our money, money we worked hard for.

As I already said, I am very jealous of you, you are a very lucky man, deep down you know this and in time you will thrive because of this, you asked for my help, I said it was inappropriate to write it on Gamcare and it is, I turned a negative into a positive, it can be done, not easy, curing problem gambling is not easy, if it were so easy maybe we wouldn't bother, if you wany my personal email or my phone number for a chat then I can explain a little and maybe give you some advice I would be willing to do that, maybe I can help you? you will get through this, just now is tough, life is tough, there will always be pain and obstacles but it's not as if you are all alone, you have a marvellous support sysyem, you are 21, you can have a great life, in the future you can look back on the end of October 2014 and say that was tough but I came through it, good luck man.