Finally admitting I have a problem

Best of luck Jill,

We try and rationalise things but the reality is we are compulisve gambers so even though we can go for long periods without it once we go back to gambling it always ends up the same way. The only way to beat it is to cut gambling out of our lives completely, even scratch cards, lotteries or raffle tickets. At GA meetings you will find fellow compulsive gamblers, listent to their stories and their advice read the litrature and taackle this once and for all. Its not easy as it never leaves you but if you work on recovery you will at least be able to stop it one day at a time. I wish you well with it.

Hi - and welcome.

I'm new here and I've found that, at least for the last few days, this site has helped me to stop me gambling. I think this is the perfect place to start. Whenever I read other people's gambling stories, I quickly come to the conclusion that there's nothing good about gambling whatsoever. It just leaves a trail of destruction. But I foolishly imagine my story and tactics will somehow be different - but of course it's not.

Best of luck with GA - I can imagine it will provide such a support to you and help you to tackle the addiction.

I found that starting a recovery diary has really helped me to overcome my initial urges because it gives me a place to visit when my mind impulsively tells me to follow an urge to gamble. It stops me listening to the same old lies about just one more big gamble to readdress my balance of loses. It's a tonic for me to read something I've written from a more level headed perspective.

Also reading the diaries of other recovering gamblers, I've found to be invaluable because it puts into perspective the damage of long-term gambling. The undeniable message is the sooner we quit, the better.

I wish you the very best now that you've started to tackle your gambling head on. Sorry to hear about last night's loss - gambling temporarily turns real money into toy money - but it usually takes something like that to prompt a visit here and trigger a change of mind towards gambling. I can imagine not many people come here after having banked a huge win. It'll probably be the next night, when it's all fed back to the casino.

Best of luck.

Thanks so much for your comments. I totally agree. For years I have been rationalizing my behaviour into reasons why it's ok to play the slots. It's fun. When actually it is soul destroying when you are losing and you feel that you will win it back. Sometimes you do and you may win more but I always end up gambling it away. Even when I have cashed out and the money is in my bank. I am a totally addicted and there is no shut off.

I really like your comment equinix in regards to monopoly money as that is how I have been playing casinos all my life. Without a thought. My justification is Oh well I will not get the things I really wanted to buy this month. Or it's my money so it's ok. But it's so not. I am 39 years old with no savings and have never bought myself anything for years as I gamble it all away.

I also totally agree Jo that I need to stop everything. A weekend coupon.scratchcard.lottery etc
And not justify its only £20.00.
It's all still gambling and unfortunately I cannot just walk away from it as some people can. I have also notice that my mood really changes when I gamble. I am a very happy person most of the time. But my boyfriend knows when I have been gambling as he has said on numerous occasions that I change. Which I can relate too.

Reading stories on here is helping as i can relate to a lot of them. So i will just take each day as it comes and try and never gamble again. Easier said than done but I will try. Jill xx

Good luck Jill. I am starting the journey now myself. Years of finding excuses to go to casinos at the cost of relationships with family and friends have to stop.
Please keep us all posted. I'm on day 2 like you.
Simon

Hi Jill

I can relate to your situation, am also 39 and have no savings solely because of gambling, I have recently handed over control of my money to my bf, blocked my phone so i can’t download apps and it’s such a relief. I totally understand what you’ve been through and going through with the mood changes and everything .. so glad now I don’t have to lie when bf would ask what’s wrong I would make something up or just say oh nothing or time of the month ! Still gutted at the money I have lost and now have to pay back for years but that can’t be changed. Totally agree it doesn’t feel like real money! And I would never ever spend that much money on anything! When I had some money in my bank last year which I spent.. initially I wouldn’t even buy myself new clothes or glasses then I went and gambled the lot what the hell... never never again x

Thanks for your comments. I will keep you posted Simon. This is the time I would usually gamble so just reading lots of posts to keep myself from being tempted. I will be attending gambling anonymous on Monday so will report back how that goes. I hope you are doing ok too

Unicorn tears. Thanks for sharing your story. I do feel a lot more positive than I have done for a long time that I am going to kick this. It is totally crazy as you said you wouldn't buy yourself things you need like glasses but you are happy like me to stare at a screen for hours and press a button. I was the same I had to get new glasses and I opted for the cheapest pair in the shop so basically I had more money to gamble. I have sold a car.expensive bags.jewellery.albeit I didn't really need them but spent the money on slots. I am actually typing this in disbelief of myself. But I am not one to not be positive. I did all that so the only person who can stop and change is me. I am going to give it my all.

Please let me know how you are all getting on Jill xx

Jill and Unicorntears. Let's do this!!

Yes definitely ! Our lives will be infinitely better I’m sure. I’ve been paid and what’s left after my debts and bills is all going to my bf so I can’t do anything which is a massive relief actually !

simonb47 wrote: Jill and Unicorntears. Let's do this!!

Well I am pleased to report I have not gambled at all. No football coupons,scratchcards,and the killer online slots. I am still very tempted but will not keep wasting all my money away on this horrible habit.
I feel a lot happier, and not worried about how i explain myself as I have done for years to why I have no money.
Banning myself from all websites has helped as well. I just need to keep going.

I also think explaining to my family my problem was a huge relief too. I wish I did it years ago but I have done it now.

Jill xx

Hi Jill

That’s great news 🙂 I haven’t gambled either since Friday 13th last month. also so much happier and am with you on the not having to explain why I’ve got no money. That’s a horrible feeling I never want to have again. Life is so much better without gambling x

I am only a few days into my "new life" and I am feeling good so far. I feel I have to be rather evangelical and post something here that is both encouraging to other like Jill, Unicorn & Simon who also seem to be newbies to the site but also as a reminder to myself to take my problem seriously. Writing here and reading others' posts keeps the thought in my mind that I have a problem and it requires constant fighting, especially in the early days.

I wish you all well and strength to fight. Clearly, none of us are alone in this and that is reassuring, even though in darker times it may seem it.

Be strong - it feels good!!!!!

PS I will suceed even if it means that I develop a dread of cliking on images of cars, apartments and street signs! 🙂

Hi

Thanks for all your updates it really does help.
So I am pleased to say I have still not gambled. I feel great but I release its early days. I do find it hard. Some days I don't think about it at all. But then I get that thought in my head to just gamble a small amount as it's nothing but I then remember I cannot and will never be able to do that. I must keep that focus of never to gamble again.

I hope you are all doing well. Keep posting

Jill xxx