Finally fessing up and unloading.

Im sure you are a nice person. Compulsive gamblers are not inherently bad people but the addiction has taken control and the plot has been lost.

Its never easy sitting down and trying to explain to my father why I had wasted thousands over the years and why I fed £700 into a slot machine at £350 per session. Its hard to do because it just sounds crazy in the cold light of day. It is crazy because nothing sounds rational about it....nothing!

He is naturally worried, flummoxed concerned, upset, disappointed, even annoyed and angry. All these emotions are natural for the non gambler because they have a lot to compute about a gambling addiction and they care about my wellbeing

I couldnt explain that there was any chance of really winning and I couldnt explain chasing behaviour. I couldnt explain that it was essential rent and food money. It wasnt money I had to throw away. We both know the real odds with those things so eventually my only explanation was that I was ignoring the odds clearly addicted and plainly ill.

Im glad I told him though because I love him and I owed my parents the truth. It stopped any money coming from them which I could have gambled with and to an extent they had to protect any inheritances from grandparents etc.

Im very uneasy about the loan she has taken out for you and you are not telling her again. You must be uneasy about that. She may well find out and anything you lose does affect her.

We have been at your stage. Its a stage on confusion and we were mainly conditioned to deal with it like a man. You wont know at this stage why you are a compulsive gambler. Its an addiction and form of mind control.

Its your decision and you may fear her stress or that she will leave you. You need to realise that the secrets fuel the addiction and lead to ruin. I am sure that recovery is much harder with secrets

You do need help though and there is no shame in reaching out for it

Best wishes