Hi,
I've written here occasionally in the past - at the time I thought gambling was all in hand. Since then I've been surviving the months through getting payday loans, and being at the limit of 3 credit cards.
But at the start of 2017, I decided I couldn't go on like I have been for years and years. I started counselling which helped me see the reasons behind why I gamble.
Yesterday I came clean to my mum and dad although I didn't admit my debts were quite as bad as £9,000. They lent me money to pay for the immediate issues. I will tell them the full extent, but it was such a big step owning up to what they've expected for a long time.
Through all the past years, I've played online poker almost every day, I can't watch a film without a laptop with a poker window open, I sometimes play poker in the day as I work from home. I'm ashamed of what I've done and what I've lost, but I'm ready to move forwards. I've always considered that poker wasn't gambling - that it was a game of skill - poker just means I lose a bit slower than in online casinos. And up until this week, I haven't been able to consider a life without playing poker.
Not sure what's changed, but I want to give up now and have a better life. Wish me luck and I may start a recovery diary. Thanks for the support guys. It helps to have others who understand.
Hi mate. Glad you were able to speak to someone about this. I know what you mean about poker being more skill based. Which it is, but as a gambler we don't see the downward variance which occurs as the norm or something to drop stakes and ride through. Probably like myself you up stakes knowing you need that first place. And first place only. Second third fourth wouldn't do. I hope you have blocked the sites and download some form of blocker. Good luck with this mate.
Hi andyrr, welcome back to the forum 🙂
Needing to & wanting to are so very different so good to see you have made the transmission & are taking action now 🙂 You don't need luck, recovery is in your hands. Put the effort in with your counsellor, keep things moving with letting your parents in & if you need anymore support reach out/ring the helpline/get to GA - ODAAT
Hi andyrr
Part of my problem was i never told the truth about the debt, i was compulsive lying as well as compulsive gambling.
I told my wife half the problem and continued to gamble and lost more before i finally came clean. She was more hurt of the lying than the gambling. I know its a big thing, but try and tell your parents the full truth now, in six month's if you go back and say actually it's x instead of x, they may think you have just continued and not stopped.
I hope you catch my drift on that comment.
Once you have come clean about everything you can then move forward
Thakns for the replies everyone. Yes, Dan - it will probably shock my parents that I'm in debt but I will be honest when I see them next. They might offer to pay off my debts, but I kind of feel that I "should" be paying off my debts myself so I see the consequences of gambling and learn to respect money better.
Still, I still want to give up gammbling now, like I haven't in the past and I've been 6 days now and I haven't had the desire at all yet. 6 days is a long time for me!
Hope everyone can find strength to beat the addiction. Take care all...
Hi, Andy,
The problem isn't the debt, it's the addiction to the process of placing a bet. Overcoming it involves changing you and how you do things. Which involves fully engaging with the counselling and getting help from meetings.
The debts are a side issue, if you stop gambling, the finances will eventually improve. But they're your debts, you're an adult, you ran them up, they're your responsibility. Long term, it's no good your parents taking them on, invariably it doesn't address the real problem, which is the gambling. Better for them to help you with barriers and managing finances.
Keep with it.
CW
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