Hi everyone. I am a 30 year old woman who has been gambling for 18 months now. It all started with Being bored one evening. I joined an online casino and couldn't believe it when I won £1500! Ever since that day I have been hooked. Of course the £1500 got gambled away very quickly, but and then myself and my husbands savings of £1300. I am now in £6500 debt owing to an overdraft, two loans, and my dad. I gamble as soon as payday comes around and my wages are gone within 24 hours. I am late paying all my personal bills, my half of the rent, and I can never afford to treat my kids to anything anymore. I hate myself for doing this to my husband and kids, they deserve so much more. What's worse is that I'm a secret gambler, no one knows I do it all. My husband has bailed me out almost every month as I make up silly excuses for being broke. I haven't gambled for 3 days and this time I am desperate to stop. I promise myself every payday I won't do it, and then I relapse. I am mainly desperate to pay off debts, so gamble to win and have the stress go away. I suffer with anxiety and depression which has got severe since gambling. I am having counselling. I just thought coming here would be extra support, and I would love to help others who are going through this
Hi Bee,
You are not alone. That 1st big win is fatal if you have the tendency toward gambling addiction. The high of the win and trying to revisit the feeling is overwhelming. You have come to the right place and will find loads of advice.
You can beat this. Let the losses go, you won't get it back and will only add to it if you chase.
Read lots on here, there is great advice but you have to be proactive in your recovery.
Best wishes. X
Hi Bee,
It is time to move forward, as imuz says above, the money is gone, chasing it, will just lead to more debt and more misery.
It's good to see you have made a start, you're already at the half a week mark and just think it will soon be a week since you gambled.
Think of why you gamble and how you gamble. Try to prevent yourself being in that situation and put in blocks to prevent you from gambling. For starters you need to self exclude from any online casinos. You then need to look at putting on blocking software such as K9, so you can't visit such sites.
Whilst you don't say how much you earn, think of the money you have been spending each month and how if you were to put most of that towards your debt, how quickly you could become debt free. My advice would be simple, immediately on payday, pay money towards the debts. You need as little as spare money available to you right now, you know you can't trust yourself not to just gamble it away.
There are people on both sides of the fence here and you will read views from people who have family members who are compulsive gamblers. The view from those people are that it's better to be open with husband/wife/partner and get it out in the open. If you don't want to do that, perhaps a very good friend or maybe a sister or brother.
Do keep reading and posting and have a look at the diary section in particular and see if you fancy setting one up. You'll see people don't just talk about their gamble free journey, but also use it as a sounding board and stress relief.
Hello Bee
Well done on being gamble free for three days. And for joining the forum and posting your story here. It can be very hard to take that step, especially if you haven't told anyone else.
It's great that you're getting counselling. Is that for your depression and anxiety or is it specifically for gambling? In case you didn't know, we do offer free counselling for anyone affected by gambling. You can find out more by giving us a call on the Helpline or if you prefer webchat, you can contact us on the Netline. Details are at the top of every page of the website.
You've said you haven't told your husband about your gambling. I am sure you have your reasons for this. But, if he did know, there are lots of ways he can help you. If you can't trust yourself with money right now, he could keep your bank cards and give you cash each day. There are also lots of blocks you can put in place to stop you being able to gamble online, and these work better if someone else password-protects them so you can't undo them. You can read more about this on our website:
http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/blocking-software
Finally, it might help you if you could contact a debt helpline to get advice on paying back those debts. You can get more information and links to helplines at our website:
http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/finance-and-debt-management
Don't be alone with this Bee, you've had some great support here on the forum and we can be there for you on the Helpline and Netline also.
Take care
Forum Admin
Thank you all for such wonderful advice. I'm actually feeling very positive since I haven't gambled. Looking forward to the road ahead, and getting rid of this horrible addiction. I didn't clarify wages. I am only part time so am on 12000 a year. i will be really strapped for cash while paying my debts, but know this will be the harsh reminder of what caused it all in the first place. Finally want my life back! Thank you all
Unfortunately I had a DMP when I was 18 due to being silly with credit cards. I got a default and it Stayed with me for 6 years. I can't go down that route again as we will be looking at buying our own home in 18 months, so I can't afford to get any defaults. I will be working full time though from October, so my wage will increase significantly. Thanks for the advice I really appreciate it
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