First steps

G’day James, welcome friend,

Your family can only help so much mate, that isn’t their fault, they, like most of society today, just don’t understand which is fine, but sometimes it means you have to seek help from those who know, which is why you did the right thing by coming here.

You are where you are, you can’t change it, you can’t turn back the clock, so you must accept what has happened, and put together a plan in order to deal with what has happened. It may seem like the end of the world friend, but it isn’t, not if you stop now – that money will be an absolute pittance compared to how much you will lose in the months and years to come.

There are people here who are in their 50’s and 60’s, and seen a lifetime of chaos, debt, misery and loneliness behind them. I am in my early 40’s, lost something like $750,000 AUD, two homes, two partners, two businesses, every penny I had, have been homeless, bankrupt, everything. But I have stopped for six years now and am a happy, fortunate man. Mate, I don’t want to be the old man who says “You have your whole life ahead of you”, but you are blessed with a great deal of time on your side to put things right.

When you win friend, it puts you on such a high that all you want is more, which leads to losing. If you lose, it tears you up inside and you are desperate to regain what you have lost, which also leads to losing. You want to win money, you should fear it, it should repulse you mate, because it will just make you increase your stakes, then you are betting more, then losing more, then spending more money you don’t have. I was about 35 when I accepted that, far too late, by then I was scouring the streets for coppers, trying to get enough to buy some stale, reduced bread from the supermarket and then find a shop doorway to sleep in. Remind yourself, tell yourself over and over until you are sick of it mate, tell yourself that winning, or losing, is awful for you, terrible in fact – all roads lead to a very dark place for you, even if you even spend just a few pounds.

Mate, you had no idea that your first bet would do this to you, that’s not your fault. But now you know, now you understand, so if you carry on, you are entering into a situation where it cannot do you any good whatsoever. Part of you will think you can win it all back, what if you did? Would you pay off all your debts and stop forever? Of course not, that rush you would have experienced would have made you worse than ever, the comedown would be huge, and you’d be betting again at bigger stakes than ever.

Friend, write that plan, do it now, don’t bury your head in the sand – draw a line under it, there is nothing you can do about it now, so concentrate on your future – that’s what matters now, that’s all that counts.

Mike reading such posts from yourslef and reading such a great response is something I think I have been lacking. You truly must be a great guy to dedicate this amount of time just to help others I hope I can be the same in years to come when I beat this, posting on here and having good people to talk to I know I will beat it. Thanks again