Forgiving yourself

Hello TearsInHeaven

I am so pleased that you took the courage and shared on the Forum.  Please know that you are not alone; and you can move forward in your life - one day at a time.  Problem gambling is cunning, powerful and baffling and without help it is too much; however, there is a way forward.

Along with the Forum we have Advisers available 24/7 to help you through this.  You can contact an Adviser by calling our HelpLine on 0800 8020 133 or using our LiveChat option.  I encourage you to make contact so we can discuss your many options of support.

Problem gambling doesn't make you a 'horrible person' and I sincerely do hope that you can get passed that thought and connect with others who once thought like you do.  

You are not alone, we are all right behind you every step of the way.

Best

Amanda

Forum Admin

Hey,

You must forgive yourself - if you saw this written by your brother or your sister, you’d forgive them, wouldn’t you? 
You may owe money, but it’s not the end of the world and what is done, is done now. 

There is ALWAYS light at the end of the tunnel. 

Please be kind to yourself, learn to love yourself again, and don’t carry anymore weight around. Gambling is an illness, it’s not a choice, you didn’t choose this life. 

Claire x

Please don’t be so hard on yourself. Although I can’t help financially (which I would love to) I can help by understanding exactly how you feel. I’m in this situation now and feel exactly how you are. But I can say to you that you are not a failure or disappointment. You are a human being who’s been pulled into something that is so hard to get out of. It’s not a “choice” I feel people understand drug addicts more than this addiction. It’s horrendous. And the way it makes you feel when you have nothing and are alone is beyond words. What I have tried doing is looking at the positives in my life. I lay down and think - I am breathing, I am loved, I am eating, I am working, I am not in danger. Although it doesn’t stop the stress it can make you feel a tiny bit better realising at least we have them xx

Thank you all for the replies.

I hold myself to a higher standard than I hold anyone else, I'm my own worst critic really. 

Also, I know people would help financially etc if they could, I would never ask though or accept financial help. I wouldnt be able to respect myself if my debts were paid off by someone else or anything, I know it has to come from me and I have to get through this hard time as a consequence for my actions really. Every action has a reaction.

Anyway, Day 6 gamble free (even if it is just because im potless until the end of the month, or maybe im going to turn the corner).  6th May 2022.

Love you all for the replies xx

Hey, 

Do not be so hard on yourself. I know how you feel. I do this to myself all the time. High standards, high expectations from everyone. Almost no one knows about my gambling issues..., or other issues. Because in my case the gambling was an escape. It gave me a false feeling of control and power and afterwards you are left with nothing but hopelessness and misery. Forgive yourself as you are a human being and yes, admit that you did a mistake, but only you knows what life has put you through. Probably, other people will end much worse. So, your greatest failure (gambling) may turn out to be your greatest achievement until now. Because from now on you understand it as a problem and I truly believe in your next even greater achievement - to move on and leave gambling behind. 

We are all humans and we deserve second chance. And in my opinion it is not embarrassing to accept financial help. I would accept now. During the years I have also helped some people in need. Destiny is unpredictable - now I am on the other side. You are worthy and best is yet to come.

Now breathe and smile 🙂