I got caught last night, body shaking, numb, shame, shock all the emotions. My husband was the most supportive and loving he could ever be.
I’ve been trying to stop I’d say the last 6 months, and did great at times but my impulses and overwhelming emotional experiences trigger me back.
I wanted to get found out, in the moment I wanted to go online and gamble again and I told him this, it’s crazy the feelings.
But I woke up liberated today, there’s big shame, fear, unknowning but finally I feel with him knowing I’m not in a cave anymore and it’s motivated me to seek out support and start putting things in place to truly fly and spread my wings. ✨
Does anyone know some live zoom meetings that I can attend into gambling addiction ? Thanks
Well done you great start today I’m the same 1st day cold turkey at moment looking at any option to gamble but blocked everything and moved money I had to fixed account just got to see this out as they say in GA just take away all options to gamble only way good luck for day 2 butterfly
Well done both on reaching breaking point and admitting defeat. I was just typing about being feeling a huge sense of relief when that point came for me. Attacking it head on and removing any options to gamble is key. Having someone know your secret is also a big help. It makes you accountable. Being accountable to only yourself is much harder. We lie to ourselves all the times as gamblers. We lie to others too, but if they know we are gamblers, they will question us. We don't question ourselves.
Not sure about any zoom meetings. I think some GA sessions are done by zoom depending on where they are but don't quote me on that.
Read everything in here. Get an idea of how others have tackled this. Read the highs and lows of recovery. It's a tough journey, but it can be done and you'll feel so much better once you get the first few weeks out the way.
Wishing you both all the best. All you have to do is get through 1 day at a time.
Stay strong 👍
@bear55 Hey! you too thanks for the feedback, we got this. Well actually I had some money left over on one of the sites, I agreed with my partner I would take that money out for us, so I went to do that but got caught and ended up gamblin it all away. I had an amazing weekend & massive fail, I went to put more money in to hide it but I stopped them woke my partner up and told him. He was hurt of course & we are still repairing but i also feel in a way I have nothing left now blocking me. Thanks for giving me space to sat this. I have now also blocked websites, done self exclusions & Im excited about the future, which I havent actually been for so long! FElt like a zombie. How are you doing ?
@p6z38njbqm Hey! Thanks for sharing, when did you break free ? Yes tough already, Im noticing my triggers and mostly it comes down to feeling loney, I have a fear of abandonment so it makes sense. Waht have been smoe highlights for you ?>
Hey butterfly always unfinished business with gambling isn’t there I was same always one horse that was in my tracker always something to bet on to keep me alive, I get it, but it doesn’t make as alive at all it just makes us sadder and lonelier and depressed it’s sad circle let alone having no money, and the money isn’t important after a while just the rush😢get back to it butterfly 🦋 you can do this
I’m on day 137/138 now. I live alone so I totally understand feeling lonely. I’ve had to really change how I am as a person. I now enjoy being alone. Yes I get times when I feel alone and sometimes it’s scary but having a plan for those times is key. I have a ready supply of books on hand. It’s my new addiction! I read loads to keep my mind busy. I also play on the Xbox. I’ve never been a gamer, and still am not, but it occupies my mind trying (usually unsuccessfully) to play a game.
It’s also important to keep visiting here. You are not alone, there are many others on here in the same position. Read all the diaries, the success stories. Learn from others journeys.
The highlights for me now are the fact I have money left the day before payday. I’m not worried about being able to buy something now. I can enjoy the money I earn now. It’s such an amazing feeling. I’m only 4 months in, but I generally feel like I’m free from this curse. I’ll never be totally free, and I understand that, but as long as I don’t drop my focus, I can live as if I am.
Stay strong 💪
Hope your ok butterfly hope still fighting 😊
Hey butterfly don’t fly away we’re waiting for you to write something hope your ok 😊
@bear55 thanks friend back on it and doing the daily routines to support 🙏🏽🦋
@p6z38njbqm wow that’s inspiring congrats to you! Yes seems like a great healthy shift to books 🙏🏽
yes I totally get that was kinda mad openly spending on the gambling but then se find guessing buying a coffee all because of my own actions then trying to make it up!! 😳 but I have not had any desires and I feel I’m getting stronger everyday 💕🦋
@bear55 I’m here! Thanks for the support and accountability. I’ve been flowing and enjoying but I realised sometimes I get ahead of myself and stop doing the processes like coming here and reading / being part of the community so I want to make that more of a habit ✨
How are you ?
Hey ☺️ great to hear from you yep all good here yep keep coming back and writing your thoughts does help me I’m only on day 7 had 3 bad months lost in gambling not sleeping anxiety through the roof but you know what slept well last night and arranged few things today that needed sorting so all good hope your ok ☺️
Hope your ok 👍
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