GA Meetings - How do they work?

Hi Lea, I don’t have time to post properly so I have bumped a thread by day@atime in the overcoming gambling section for you.

Well done for reaching out & no, you don’t have to speak if you don’t want to. I’ll pop back later & say Hi properly. Well done on getting to day 2 🙂

Keep going - ODAAT

Hi Lea!

I joined today here for first time and is finding it good to read about what we all are going through in different level but with mostly the same core problem. I have however been to one meeting before and didn’t find it helpful to me, but then I wasn’t ready and still thought I was stronger or somehow distanced myself from them. I feel I have another more mature awareness now and I am considering going again more open minded. My first thought however was : if you do recognise that you have a problem and it seems that all you do is opening up and talk about it - is that helping and isn’t there a more direct and practical solution. Day two I stopped convincing myself I was all okey sorting myself out. I know more now but is determined to get it all sorted. I say you have nothing to loose by going, just be honest and open about it and not with stupid contrived ideas like I had. What have you got to loose?

Do you have to speak?

People are very supportive.

You don't have to speak much at you first meeting, maybe just "I'm xxx, I'm a compulsive gambler, my last day gambling was x days ago". It takes courage just to walk through the door and say those words.

There will be people there who haven't gambled for years or decades even, and there will be people who are on day 1.

The advice is one day at a time, and attend as many meetings as you can.

It works for some people, it didn't for me when I attended 30 years ago, but that was my own fault. I do remember a huge relief in admitting to other people that I had a problem & wished I had stuck at it. If I'd kept going to regular meetings, I'm pretty sure it would have worked.

30 years late, I am 44 days into doing it on my own & through a diary here. I wouldn't exclude going again though.

Hi Lea

Yeah I'd read Day@'s posts and also maybe look at the GA site if you are interested as there is a lot of information posted. In short though, GA is a program of honesty, openminded thinking and a willingness to change using a 12 step non religious program.

If i was to give advice to you, i'd say give GA time to help you. Give GA 12 weeks and try and understand how the program works.

If you have any other questions, there is a forum on the GA site and a chat room.

Olle wrote:

Hi Lea!

I joined today here for first time and is finding it good to read about what we all are going through in different level but with mostly the same core problem. I have however been to one meeting before and didn’t find it helpful to me, but then I wasn’t ready and still thought I was stronger or somehow distanced myself from them. I feel I have another more mature awareness now and I am considering going again more open minded. My first thought however was : if you do recognise that you have a problem and it seems that all you do is opening up and talk about it - is that helping and isn’t there a more direct and practical solution. Day two I stopped convincing myself I was all okey sorting myself out. I know more now but is determined to get it all sorted. I say you have nothing to loose by going, just be honest and open about it and not with stupid contrived ideas like I had. What have you got to loose?

Thanks it makes sense I just am a bit unure about it, didnt end up going tonight maybe next week. I know I have underlying issues and I am not sure I am ready or will ever be ready to talk about them, briefly mentioned it in counselling before but none of this helped me to stop the gambling.

I really do want to stop and now I am on day 3 of no gambling, more so because I have no money and dont get paid until friday.

Is there generally a mixture of ages?

Hi lea compulsive gamblers come in all shapes and sizes but they are all compulsive gamblers. Some go to GA because they want to stop. Nothing else has helped my husband. There is no shame or judgement just self help. Stopping is very difficult alone, that's why GA exists. Stop making excuses. I know that sounds harsh but if you don't go you don't know. You don't have to tell your inner most thoughts, you just have to be honest with yourself. If you want help you have to go and get it.

Hi Lea,

I too went for councelling, but the reality is I wanted a fix, a switch ti turn off so I would be cured. The reality is different, the reality is we compulsive gamblers and will be for life. GA is a great place for us as you learn from the 12 steps litrature you get there that you take this battle one day at a time. You learn to stop the lies and be honest with yourself, but most importantly people who work hard at their recovery really do turn their lives around.

GA meetins will be predomintaly male but dont let that put you off, go there with an open mind and listen to what people say, you dont have to talk if you dont want to. The fix to our problems is to stop gambling but for compulsive gamblers like ourselves this is virtually impossible, we think we can just do it using will power but we fail over and over. Support is key in this battle and GA is a great place to get it as your surrounded by fellow CG's who understand the issue.

I wish you well in your recovery.

Hi Lea.

I think you should give it a go. They will be supportive and you will hear some stories and meet some people that frankly you need to meet. You can put as much into a meeting as you want to.

When you have heard other stories it will help you understand the addiction and there will be an honesty in the room that will have heard all the excuses and gambling talk. They are human beings just like you and the problem is essentially the same.

It will focus you and it will ground you on an evening where you have put someting in by attending. There may well be a brew and a biscuit 🙂

I went twenty years ago and to be honest I wasnt ready for it. I was a bit scared and thought I was a lightweight la di da gambler compared with some of the stories I heard. I was very shy. That was my mistake and I was totally wrong. I didnt deal with things properly and ended up gambling for another 25 years because I didnt deal with my addiction.

So dont be anxious about it and you can shape the meeting to include your input. Air your concerns and how you feel about meetings and Im sure they will be warm and accomodating.

Go along. You will probably find mostly older guys but a gambling problem does not discriminate on age and gender, You cant knock it until youve tried it. Try and get really involved in the first meeting and tell them all about your gambling problem

You dont have to go again if you dont want to but attending will be a sign that you are a strong adult with something to say. You just get chatting and follow the procedure of the meeting.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Merry go round wrote:

Hi lea compulsive gamblers come in all shapes and sizes but they are all compulsive gamblers. Some go to GA because they want to stop. Nothing else has helped my husband. There is no shame or judgement just self help. Stopping is very difficult alone, that's why GA exists. Stop making excuses. I know that sounds harsh but if you don't go you don't know. You don't have to tell your inner most thoughts, you just have to be honest with yourself. If you want help you have to go and get it.

Thanks I know I just need to go and I need to do it sooner rather than later as it's all just getting too much for me.

Harsh but true words and probably what I need to hear as I have no one near me to do that. Appreciate it, no harm in trying somethign and seeing if it works for me.

Thank you all for the messages and I will give it a go next week and see how I get on, I am 29 and just need to deal with this now, been struggling for a while but don't want it to be a life long problem.

Will hopefully be writing on this next week about how it went and how I feel about the meeting and if I feel it will benefit me personally.