My name is Brittany and I’m a gambling addict. It started at casinos every once in a while now it has moved to Lucky Land slots. One big win and I keep thinking I’ll win big again. So I keep spending money over and over again and now I spent my car payment money and made my account go negative. Finally told my husband this morning but now what the heck do we do? Account is negative and gonna keep getting $105 in fees everyday. Our pay checks next week will be gone and can’t even pay the bills. I have even more stress now so why does gambling keep happening? Why did I do it in the first place? My husbands says I don’t know how you keep spending even when you don’t have the money. That’s what a gambler addict does but why I still don’t understand it myself. Told husband this morning to tell his parents we can’t make a payment for a couple months he says he can’t do that. What’s worse is my husband is embarrassed. How will this get any easier?
Good Morning Brittany,
Welcome to the forum. Well done for reaching out. This is a place where you can read and learn from other people who are just like you and from others who were once just like you but now live a happy, stress free life without gambling issues in their lives.
It would be easy for me to say that that your live will get easier and far better once you stop gambling. Without doubt, that is the easy and honest answer but how do you stop? Sometimes I think its better to explore why are you continuing. You are in financial trouble which is a consequence of gambling for everyone who gambles. No matter what we win it goes back in to future gambling. The idea of “one big win” is an illusion. I would imagine the fun has gone and been replaced with stress, panic, deceit and sleepless nights. It’s causing issues in your marriage and is a form of embarrassment to your husband and perhaps others. It’s time for you to stop, regain your husband’s trust and get back to building the life you deserve.
When I quit I was ready. I was sick of it. I was sick of being out of control. I was sick of the stress, the constant worry and the lies. I was really worried myself. I knew I had the capacity for destruction. Gambling was making me mentally and physically unhealthy. So I opted to turn that all around.
I get very repetitive on here sometimes. When I quit gambling I didn’t just stop gambling. I looked to improve all other areas of my life. I started running, reading more books. I tried to eat healthier, I tried everything and anything to do better. As time started to pass without gambling and the days began to add up I would focus on how better I felt. How much better I looked. How much calmer and relaxed I felt and eventually I would feel happy.
The financial part isnt rocket science. As soon as you stop gambling your finances can’t get any worse. So, they can only get better. Bit by bit I paid off debt and it made me feel good. Progress can be slow but every month the debt would reduce. Every month I was getting mentally and physically healthier, I was happier and my debt was reducing. Most of all, I took real notice of these things and this progress and I wanted more. So, I kept going.
Today, I am over 1100 days from my last bet. Back then roulette controlled my life on a daily basis. If I wasn’t playing it I was thinking about it. It was all an illusion- I don’t miss it. Ever. I have a great life now.
I hope you break free from the trap and illusion of gambling. Regain your true self and the trust and respect of your family. Forgive yourself for the actions of yesterday and start over today. A fresh start from where you are with what you have. Go forward with determination and courage and achieve great things.
I wish you well.
RR
Hello @bpardee,
Welcome to the GamCare forum. It sounds like it has been a tough time, but I am really glad you have joined and hope you find the support and encouragement from other members to be helpful. It's also good that you have spoken with your husband about the situation.
A lot of people affected by problem gambling will relate to what you are saying. If you've had an initial win, it can be easy to get into the mindset of thinking the wins will continue - when actually the more anyone gambles over time, the more money they are likely to lose. With the right support though, people can and do recover from problem gambling.
You mention dollars, so I think you may be outside of the UK? If so, you might like to have a look at https://www.gamblingtherapy.org/; a global service who can offer various forms of support around problem gambling.
I'd also encourage you to do some research into organisations who can give you free financial and debt advice. You might like to contact your utility suppliers to explain you are struggling to pay your bills and to make a payment plan with them.
If you need help with food you could look into food banks near you.
If you are in the U.S., you can find Gamblers Anonymous meetings at: https://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/locations.
You might like to consider self-excluding from casinos and if you gamble online there is blocking software you could put in place to block access to gambling sites/ apps - https://www.gamcare.org.uk/self-help/blocking-software/
You're also very welcome to join our group chatroom.
Best wishes,
Sophie
Forum Admin
Hi Brittany!
Your story is really touching. Hope you doing ok today?
I look at the chats each day and find the comments really helpful, so I thank you for your honest.
Keep going...
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