Hello everyone,
im not sure what I am doing or how I get it all out. I was doing ok - not great but ok. Last night I lapsed. I woke up this morning in sheer panic. I am scared of losing my partner, my house but most of all my kids.
i don't know why I do it? Sometimes it's because I think I can win but most of the time it's because of the hate I have for myself. I don't even know where this hate comes from. From the outside it should look like I have a lovely life. I should. I do. I have three beautiful children and a partner I love so incredibly much. So why? I'm not expecting any answers from anyone. I just wondered if anyone has ever really found out why?
How does it stop?
I want my life back and I want my partners trust back. I'm lost. I need help and I don't know where to go.
Im sorry. X
What is your main vice? For me its online blackjack. Ive now reduced all my credit cards to small limits and gave them my mom. Set up a savings account to put a chunk of money into another bank each month so its not available for me to spend on my current account. I try now to remember the triangle of the three things you need to gamble ... time money and location. If i have no time, i cant gamble. If i have no money, i cant gamble. If i have no location, i cant gamble. Write down all your debt (if applicable) and make a plan to pay it off. Be open with your partner, theyll help!!
Hi Amy
Get some practical barriers into place to stop your access to cash and gambling, starting with handing everything financial over to your partner. Very true that you will need to find out what's driving the compulsion and once you've made it impossible to gamble on a whim the next step is counselling (Gamcare offer free sessions) and GA meetings where you will be able to explore, identify and address the root causes.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
