Well after another attempt of quitting, tomorrow will mark my 1st week gamble free.
I would like to say I feel good but my goodness it has been a struggle. Headache, mood swings, not fun to be around. Constantly trying to fight the urges & distract my mind.
But I have to find a way of keeping the devil off my back, this cannot carry on for my own sanity & the future of my family. If I can nail this I am 3 years away of being debt free. I know I will always be an addict, but its a milestone I have to reach.
At 42 I can turn my life around, I have to try to stay positive, forgot the 200k over 8 years I have lost, I can never recover those losses but I can shape my future by nailing this.
I feel lost emotionally, the loss of the excitement of placing a football bet, the buzz of checking the odds. I am almost grieving the loss of gambling in my life.
Come on I can do this
Every day gamble free is an achievement. The journey may feel tough and I too also had off moods and struggled but after a while it went away. I focused on not giving myself the opportunity to play including switching off devices if I felt the urge to play.
I often asked myself how much would I need to win to stop. I could win big and still end up throwing it back into a casino and losing it all...Reality was I had no limit I just wanted to play - When the balance hit 0 I'd just deposit until I had nothing left and felt horrid.
Interestingly I never remembered the times I lost everything I only remembered the wins. I never focused on times when I went to bed shaking and emotional after losing all my money for the month.
1 week gamble free is an achievement - Best wishes for the journey. Its achievable - I once thought I'd never be gamble free but for now I've reached that status.
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