Had enough

Mate, we are all the same, I resonate with all of that but for longer.

there does come a time when you have to say no more, by god it’s hard and understand it’s always there in you, just try your best, stay determined and hope that things will get easier.

you don’t beat this, you just never gamble or it does beat you, hope that makes sense.

good luck mate 

Hi

When I  walked in to the recovery program I was not doing it for myself, I was there because of my girl friend who is now my wife.

The wording of the recovery program is that it will work for any one who wants to stop gambling.

No matter how much money I lost, no matter how many times I went back gambling keep attend meetings, no matter if I had no money keep going to meetings, then one day it became easier, then one day I understood how important recovery was for me.

The attitude I am here now fix me does not work, what can I do to heal my pains, what can I do to exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits, how much time and effort am I willing to invest in to myself and my recovery.

Being in  the recovery program, eventually I was going to be able to abstain from gambling, yet recovery was more than just abstaining, in time I was able exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits, I was able to understand my anger and reduce my unhealthy reactions to people life and situations.

Being in  the recovery program I found my fears reduced, I found my trust grew of people, I found my fears of emotional intimacy reduced, I found my fear of some one seeing me in the meetings would also reduce.

In time my family did not fear me any more, I was able to be more and more emotionally detached from all feelings towards gambling.

I no longer fear gambling, I no longer hate gambling, I no longer thought of gambling, I no longer blamed gambling for my unhealthy actions and my unhealthy attitudes.

While I was gambling over time I gave up more and more faith and hope in myself, while I was gambling I was like a rat in a wheel going faster and faster getting no where healthy, the faster I went in to my addictions and obsessions the more I was isolating myself from other people, the more I was disconnected from other people.

I was used to being a loner in my addictions and my obsessions, now I understand how important it is that I interact with all people in a healthy way.

In time I would understand my emotional triggers, the reasons I use to escape to my addictions and my obsessions.

Please keep going to meetings, you will benefit from it in so many ways.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Posted by: holycrosser

Mate, we are all the same, I resonate with all of that but for longer.

there does come a time when you have to say no more, by god it’s hard and understand it’s always there in you, just try your best, stay determined and hope that things will get easier.

you don’t beat this, you just never gamble or it does beat you, hope that makes sense.

good luck mate 

Hi Holycrosser,

Thanks very much for your message and advice.

I fully understand this will be a battle i'm going to have face everyday and its not going to be easy. There have been periods in the past where i have managed to abstain from gambling and i know i can get back to that place if i try. Just now it does seem a long way off but i'm determined to take it a day at a time.

I have unfortunately found myself in this position and it is down to me to take the right steps for myself and make things better. Ive never looked for help on my own but i can see on here there are a lot of people who have suffered similar experiences. There's a long road ahead but i will keep checking on here and hopefully i can look back at this being the first day in my recovery.

Thanks and continued luck on your own recovery.

G

Posted by: gadaveuk

Hi

When I  walked in to the recovery program I was not doing it for myself, I was there because of my girl friend who is now my wife.

The wording of the recovery program is that it will work for any one who wants to stop gambling.

No matter how much money I lost, no matter how many times I went back gambling keep attend meetings, no matter if I had no money keep going to meetings, then one day it became easier, then one day I understood how important recovery was for me.

The attitude I am here now fix me does not work, what can I do to heal my pains, what can I do to exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits, how much time and effort am I willing to invest in to myself and my recovery.

Being in  the recovery program, eventually I was going to be able to abstain from gambling, yet recovery was more than just abstaining, in time I was able exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits, I was able to understand my anger and reduce my unhealthy reactions to people life and situations.

Being in  the recovery program I found my fears reduced, I found my trust grew of people, I found my fears of emotional intimacy reduced, I found my fear of some one seeing me in the meetings would also reduce.

In time my family did not fear me any more, I was able to be more and more emotionally detached from all feelings towards gambling.

I no longer fear gambling, I no longer hate gambling, I no longer thought of gambling, I no longer blamed gambling for my unhealthy actions and my unhealthy attitudes.

While I was gambling over time I gave up more and more faith and hope in myself, while I was gambling I was like a rat in a wheel going faster and faster getting no where healthy, the faster I went in to my addictions and obsessions the more I was isolating myself from other people, the more I was disconnected from other people.

I was used to being a loner in my addictions and my obsessions, now I understand how important it is that I interact with all people in a healthy way.

In time I would understand my emotional triggers, the reasons I use to escape to my addictions and my obsessions.

Please keep going to meetings, you will benefit from it in so many ways.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Hi Dave,

Thanks for your message. I can relate a lot to how things must have been for you before entering the recovery program. I know this is a long path and i do want to do this for me and for my family. 

In the past i have always looked for excuses not to go to GA meetings - work commitments, travel, feelings of shame & embarrassment. I know everyone is there for the same reason and this is part of the recovery process.

I did speak to my local GA earlier and made arrangements to attend tomorrows meeting. I will post on here how it goes.

Thanks again and continued luck on your recovery.

G

Hi gr3884,

Welcome - your story doesn't seem massively different than mine. One thing stuck out - "I have had enough", that's exactly how I felt 9 months ago.

Good to see you giving GA another try - hopefully it will give you a really good framework and support.

Put all the blocks in place. GAMSTOP, GAMBAN, self exclusion from high street bookies and casinos.

We can't solve all our other problems today, but we can decide not to gamble.

Hi

Well done please stick with your recovery it is well worth while.

I would mention that a healthy recovery is not based up on luck, it is very much relative to how much time and effort we put in to our recovery.

Once thing is very helpful finding a very healthy spiritual person who will talk you trough the things that will help in your recovery.

Step five a long with a healthy spiritual person will help you over come fears of emotional intimacy and able to make healthier choices in your life.

Thank you for your comments and also relating to me and my recovery.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to provide an update after having been back to GA for my 1st meeting in a long time. 

I went along on Monday evening and it was really good to take those first steps (albeit minor) back into a path of recovery. There was a mix of emotions for me on the night - began with some nerves & reservations to eventually feeling at ease, and in the end a real sense of relief that i had come through the first night.

There was a lot discussed at the meeting and having listened to some fellow members stories & them telling a bit about their own path to recovery it left me with a great deal of perspective on my own route to being back at GA and the reasons why i want to & need to make a change.

I have already made arrangements to attend a 2nd meeting this week and will continue with the commitment to get well. 

There is a very long way to go but i just want to thank everyone for the messages on here and advice. 

G

Hi

Thank you for your commitment to your recovery.

I am very pleased for you.

Please keep going to meetings, you will benefit from it in so many ways.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham