Hi, I have been gambling on and off for 10 years. After receiving some financial help to pull myself out of debt from my parents - only to gamble that away again - I have decided today is the last day I will gamble. I have some counselling booked, but was also hoping for some support on here. I don't expect it to be easy, but I am so willing to work hard. Like many of us on here, I have too much to lose. This will no longer hang like a weight around my neck. I will stop. I will stop now. xx
Hi Monkeypea,
Welcome to the forum. It will become a place that will help you through your recovery and journey.
Have you put any stops in place to help you?
What was it you got addicted to?
CJ.
My best advice for you will be to accept that you will have slip ups along the way, and to not beat yourself up about it.
Try and find something you enjoy to take your mind off it. I am the kinda guy who gets obsessed with hobbies and interests.. divert that energy into something positive.
Thank you for taking the time to respond to my post. I am currently awaiting my first telephone counselling session. My 'thing' was online slot machines but I have self excluded from every site I used to gamble on. I am really positive, but scared that my partner will find out about my old gambling history. He never checks my bank account, and doesnt seem to ask where my money goes....but I figure that that would just be a matter of time until he eventually did. He is very, very old school and has little to no sympathy for anyone suffering with any sort of addictions....'they should just stop', is his opinion. He would never even begin to understand my addiction, nor would he tolerate it and i know he would want me to leave the family home. This would mean making my children leave their lovely home too. I have shared my problem with my parents, who agree that telling my partner is not an option. I simply have to hope he doesnt find out! I have 12 days until I get paid, which will clear the recent debt, and then its onwards and upwards to building some savings up to avoid my partner being suspicous. I know many people think I should tell him, but it would not help, honestly. My mum hs said that telling him would only alleviate my guilt and open a whole can of worms. So as long as I can stop this now then maybe it's ot too late to salvage. It is my money I have gambled - I've not taken anything from him.....just wasted my own.....but that would be enough for him to end it. The lies and broken trust would kill us. So, I am hoping i can get through these next 12 days without any questions....and the the rest of my life without any gambling! Well, here's hoping eh?! xx
Hi there,
A lot of us have been in a similar position with our addiction being hidden. I was having a conversation about this only the other day about how big the online gambling has become and wondered how many people are trapped in secrecy.
You need to sign up to Gamstop for 5 years. This will block your access to the sites to feed your addiction.
My only question keeping secrets from your partner. Is that the right thing to do especially when it could be detrimental to him if it spirals out of control.
I am sure others have advice but I would first of all get into Gamstop and blanket ban.
Well done on 12 days. 🙂
CJ.
Hi monkeypea.
Just on the subject of telling your other half, or not. This is a difficult subject that has been debated many times on the forum. Some partners would up and leave without hesitation, especially if they have a very judgemental view of things. Others may be shocked but be prepared to give a second chance. But basically, like you say they couldn't possibly understand the addiction and the resulting devistating effects.
Anyway, the outcome is not necessary predictable so look inside your soul for the answer. It's great that you've opened up to your parents for support is what you really need.
Maybe in time you may disclose to your partner the full facts after you have got yourself back on your feet. Perhaps by then you may have banned from all sites, put a repayment plan into action and shown that you are serious about never gambling again and planning for a brighter future.
Hi all, thanks for your views on my position. Right now i am happy to not share with my partner as i am so conifdent I will never, ever, gamble again. I'm 4 days in now, with no desire to gamble either. I know it's early days, but I'm so determined. I did something the other day that I promised I would never do - I swore on my children's lives I will never gamble again. Now, I'm not religious or spiritual AT ALL, but swearing on my childrens lives for anything is something I have never, ever, ever done - simply because I've never been comfortable doing that. But, i did, I did it and in a weird way it was a strange relief, because now I can't gamble, I just can't. Sounds silly right? I know, but for me it's a big thing, something I never did before because I knew I wanted to keep gambling, but not anymore!! It feels like I've been freed. Love to you all x
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