Hello, I’m new and again I’ve hit the bottom of the pit that keeps on growing.
I’ve gambled pretty much all my adult life. £5 Football accas as a late teen.
Joined the military to get away from depression and drugs after watching a friend die.
during the military got onto online poker and sports betting. Pretty much regularly ran out of money each month but was ok as always had our 3 meals a day available.
sports betting and poker increased a lot following tours of Iraq and Afghanistan. Failed marriage, relationships and a culture of heavy drinking.
left the military in my mid 30s, went into rented house, bills, more responsibilities and gambling slowly took over time and time again.
Never able to save for my own place, lost circles of friends. Became a heavy drinker.
in past 3 years on multiple occasions I’ve spunked my wages as soon as it comes out, feel of nothing to life for, loneliness, regrets, at times I think is this life really worth it, what’s the point.
my one support was my mother who bailed me out few times when I couldn’t pay rent or time and again when got no food or fuel.
recently had job offers from Middle East snatched away from me, a relationship breakup and a few months of drinking and loneliness again living in an isolated area.
as my Gamstop came off before the World Cup I’ve done it again. That sense of self harm before Christmas. No food for month, no fuel, no Christmas parties or plans that have been agreed for weeks and months.
can’t tell my pensioner aged mom again as it will kill her.
no ability to lend anything even payday loans.
Always feel so close to getting straight and well off and I keep doing this to myself.
I can’t do it anymore.
Hello mrmagoo888
I am so pleased that you have reached out on our Forum; please know that you are no longer alone! Problem gambling is cunning, powerful and baffling and without help it is too much. However, you can get through this, taking it one day at a time or even a moment at a time.
I encourage you to keep sharing on here and connecting with others in Recovery. Along with this Forum, we have Advisers available 24/7 to help you through. You can contact an Adviser by calling our HelpLine on 0808 8020 133 or using our LiveChat, WhatsApp or FaceBook options.
Please reach out to us; we are here for you!
Best
Amanda
Forum Admin
Good Morning MrMagoo,
That is a strong post. Well done for coming here and seeking help.
First of all, I don’t have all the answers but what I know is that you are one year away from completely turning your life around.
You were military. At one point, you had discipline, determination and courage and you were physically strong and fit. All of these attributes existed in you. They’re still in there somewhere. These attributes are the key to your success.
With these attributes you’ll find new employment, you’ll get yourself both physically and mentally healthy and you’ll be determined in your pursuit. You can build a new life and one to be proud of. Gambling and heavy drinking are coping mechanisms for some of the things you’ve experienced in life. A structured fitness programme can replace these things. Get fit and healthy and get your motivation for success back.
You can turn your life around. Absolutely no doubt about that. One year from now you’ll be a different person. Your dear mum who is already proud of you will be more so. I’ve complete confidence in you that you can change your path.
Good luck to you.
RR
@forum-admin thank you I will reach out and read more in the forums as only joined last night. ??
@rouletteregret hey RR thank you for your comments.
yeah I’m all or nothing last time I gave up in lockdown I was up to marathon distance running and was doing it everyday.
Yep and I intend to quit the drinking too, i had one drink in 4 weeks, which is better than 4 bottles of wine in 2 days.
one year, I will look forward to but right now is that initial how can I get fuel/food for month, which I’m sure a lot of us know about.
Hi @Mrmagoo888,
Here are some organisations I would suggest having a look at:
You can find a local food bank with the Trussell Trust - https://www.trusselltrust.org/ Food banks can often help with essential household items too.
There are also many smaller, local groups running foodbanks. If they don’t have websites, they can usually be found on social media.
There are food sharing apps that you can use such as https://olioex.com/ and https://freemymeal.co.uk/.
Your local council may be able to help with an emergency food parcel.
Information on fuel banks:
https://www.comparethemarket.com/energy/coronavirus/fuel-bank/
https://www.fuelbankfoundation.org/.
StepChange ( https://www.stepchange.org/) give free financial and debt advice, and have information on what to do if you need help with emergency funding, bills and rent at: https://www.stepchange.org/debt-info/emergency-funding.aspx
Shelter ( https://www.shelter.org.uk/) can offer help around housing.
Support around alcohol misuse - https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-advice/alcohol-support/
I hope this helps. Please do contact us on 0808 8020 133, on Netline, WhatsApp or Facebook if you would like further support. We can also help with various options which can help you in your recovery from problem gambling.
Best wishes,
Sophie
Forum Admin
@forum-admin thank you very much I will take a look!
MrMagoo,
I hope the next month is kind to you. I hope you find some comfort over the next few days and the basic essentials until you’re back on your feet.
Good luck to you. I hope you keep posting. I would love to read one day how your life has improved and that you’re doing really well. I’ve a feeling that you thoroughly deserve a kind break.
RR
@rouletteregret thank you I’ve been in this hitting bottom and quitting too many times.
I managed to drive home (200 miles) as mom gave me fuel money.
dreading the month and embarrassment of not going to events leading to Christmas. Ignoring phone calls from lenders I’ve missed and scraping for food.
but today at least I didn’t gamble so every silver lining.
hope you and everyone here doing good.
Hi mrmagoo888,
I am a ex solider myself and recovering compulsive gambler, I haven’t had a alcoholic drink in over a year now as I used to drink a lot in the army. Once you go beyond the usual Christmas and big do with not drinking you kind of don’t really see the point in it. Stopping drinking has helped me make good decisions and being sober enough to walk away from the thrill of gambling.
it’s a small price to pay but the risks of gambling are smaller without it.
I hope this helps
dave101
@dave101 good effort Dave!
I think the culture of drinking in army and lack of money awareness maybe a part of it, as well as the mental tour issues.
I think I can get enjoy not having hangovers and missed days of hungover.
Yes the hangovers are nice not to have but you just generally feel so much more healthier once you get past 3 months of not drinking. Yes the culture of the army did also make me a gambling addict. I mean I was on the fruit machines at 16 and heavy on them at 17 and found online gambling at 18. Slowly made harder rock bottoms for myself and it’s nice not to be at those bottoms now. All I have to do is focus away from gambling keep active on this site and physical meetings if I can attend.
keep on the site regularly, read people’s posts and engage with them and hopefully that will help.
just for today I will not gamble
dave101
Brill thanks for the advice I’m trying to check this first thing when I wake up.
just for today I will not gamble ?
I’m so rational usually about everything about this. I’ve been reading about emotional triggers.
on pay day I always sit there with my list of payments, and just with recent breakup and job offer loss I think I just lost my mind, no plan, no sense in the bets just happened till woke up and all gone.
is this the usual types of triggers for most and how do you ‘wake up’?
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