Help!

Hi Dunc,

I have just signed up to this forum and read your post there. 

As someone who is also really struggling with gambling at the moment, the first thing I want to say to you is please don’t be hard on yourself. I’ve realised that there are hundreds and thousands of people that are struggling like us. 

What I’m starting to realise is that we have the power to make decisions. From when we’re hit with a gambling trigger, or urge to gamble, we can’t be hurt by this until we choose to act upon it. 

It’s important to accept that you won’t win back the money lost, but the money you haven’t lost (that might have been used for gambling in the future) is all yours and can be used for good…your grandkid for example.

I know personally (and even now I’m feeling low, having these thoughts) I’ve thought - if only I had stopped at X point or Y point, I wouldn’t have lost X amount. Thing is, I’m at one of those points right now, as are you. We can choose not to gamble. One urge, one good decision and one day at a time.

I’ve spent the last few hours reading through the workbook on the gamcare page and strongly recommend it if you’ve not already seen it. I will post it under this comment.

I am going to do absolutely everything in my power tomorrow not to go to a bookies (like you I’m not an online gambler, I’m in the bookies every single day though). Not tomorrow though, tomorrow I’m not going to go, I’ll then be back on this thread (having saved myself at leas 3 figures of money) and hope to share this with you. 

It would be inspiring if you can do this too, I believe you can mate! 

Hope this has helped in some way? Stay strong and as I say, the workbook worked well for me and might help you too. 

Hi Dunc,

I have just signed up to this forum and read your post there. 

As someone who is also really struggling with gambling at the moment, the first thing I want to say to you is please don’t be hard on yourself. I’ve realised that there are hundreds and thousands of people that are struggling like us. 

What I’m starting to realise is that we have the power to make decisions. From when we’re hit with a gambling trigger, or urge to gamble, we can’t be hurt by this until we choose to act upon it. 

It’s important to accept that you won’t win back the money lost, but the money you haven’t lost (that might have been used for gambling in the future) is all yours and can be used for good…your grandkid for example.

I know personally (and even now I’m feeling low, having these thoughts) I’ve thought - if only I had stopped at X point or Y point, I wouldn’t have lost X amount. Thing is, I’m at one of those points right now, as are you. We can choose not to gamble. One urge, one good decision and one day at a time.

I’ve spent the last few hours reading through the workbook on the gamcare page and strongly recommend it if you’ve not already seen it. I will post it under this comment.

I am going to do absolutely everything in my power tomorrow not to go to a bookies (like you I’m not an online gambler, I’m in the bookies every single day though). Not tomorrow though, tomorrow I’m not going to go, I’ll then be back on this thread (having saved myself at leas 3 figures of money) and hope to share this with you. 

It would be inspiring if you can do this too, I believe you can mate! 

Hope this has helped in some way? Stay strong and as I say, the workbook worked well for me and might help you too. 

https://www.gamcare.org.uk/self-help/self-help-resources/

Hi Dunc1501 and Welcome

You need to seek all the help you can get while you focus on what it has done to you 

They are not actually offering "winning" on those odds. Its not an income scheme which is why they have to define the slots in particular as "amusement with prizes" . To be frank I saw a lot of grim determined faces in arcades and at the casino tables so wouldnt really call it entertainment or amusement.

for those who are soon addicted Its a highly addictive escape drug from other thoughts in your mind but its temporary and only makes your troubles far far worse. 

all the risk is with you..... do you think the bookies or casinos ever risked overdraft money.??? ..... the perfect scam of deception and auto suggestion

you have a lot of talking to loved ones to do..... winning wheres that for the countless gamblers losing everything.... see Paul Mersons story..... its not even about the money once hooked or ever really... its the drug of expectation taking over the brain

They push the drug  on you and your own body creates the drugs so they dont have to do much.

its complex and you will learn about it. However you have to stop now and that means telling people close and getting help to start the cold turkey.

Again look at what its done to you.... the system is designed to take our money slowly or very quickly. The dens know its addictive and nobody  in authority protects us from it.

Your body craves it for all the delusional drugged up reasons..... it dismises your debts overdraft and loss of self respect to get its brain fix...... just like any dangerous class A drug 

The government make class A drugs illegal but they are cashing in shamelessly on gambling 

You need to see the chink of light until the light of truth fills the room.

Please seek help to follow the tried and trusted advice

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Hi All 

thank you so much for the replies… it’s funny how as soon as you start to talk to people in a similar situation you see how hard it is to change and how people looking in couldn’t understand how difficult this is going to be but as I start work really early and finish around now I’m going straight home! Thanks for help on day 1 X

@kduck9 I will check back too, would love to see that neither of you gambled today ?

Hi Dunc,

you are the same age as my dad. and thankfully he doesn’t suffer from addiction. But to know even after all this time you have told some of your story. Your from a time of suffer in silence and get on with it. Posting here takes balls. Respect mate

Hi All just a little update I’ve gambled a small amount around £40 last Friday but that’s it … my big concern is I’ve probably only spent that because I’ve not been paid ! I get paid on the 10th please any thoughts? Thanks 

@dunc1501 Just don't try to win money instead of earning it - starting to think of gambling as 'earning' money is the biggest route to disaster and an easy way to get drawn back in.

I still struggle myself with gambling, so don't beat yourself up either. Just keep to a clear short term plan that does not involve gambling as a solution in your head right now.

9 days without gambling! And today lost £300 I don’t have in 25 minutes what am I like! I drove 10 miles out of my way to go there all the way there I kept saying it’s wrong but still did it. I feel like there’s no point trying to give up but I’m not giving up I can’t maybe I can go 15 days now …… baby steps but it’s so difficult not to look back at what you’ve lost  . Dunc

@dunc1501 You will not be able to do this on your own.  How did you get access to £300? Because you haven't told you wife that you have a problem and don't want access to money at the moment.

I understand all the fear that goes with having to come clean to someone. What if they leave me? What if the don't understand? What if it stops me from being able to gamble again? I don't want to be treated like a baby. I'm a man, I can do it on my own.

The truth is you can't do it on your own. This addiction will always win, the only way to beat it, if that's such a word, is to keep it at bay for a period of time. One day at a time, one week at a time, what ever time frame you are comfortable with. Gambling will always be there waiting for you, so don't try and beat it by sheer will power, as you've already shown that hasn't gone too well.

This isn't a beating up, it should be wake up. This illness will take everything from you if you do not give it the respect that it deserves.

How do you stop. H is for Honesty. Be honest with yourself and with someone else. Your wife, a mate, someone that you trust. O is for Openminded. Be openminded that you don't have the answers and that others, through experience, might just know what is needed. Be open minded to try different things. W is for Willingness. Be willing to put blocks in place, maybe get counselling, ideally go to a Gambler's Anonymous group, do anything to help yourself.

I'm probably the same age as you but I have one difference. I had to lose everything time and time again before I finally got it, and even today I have to work hard on myself to not place that first bet. It's almost too simple.

The choice you have is determinded by how much you want to stop? Be like me, lose it all before you can start helping yourself, or look at yourself, take a deep breath, tell your wife, Be Honest, Be Openminded, Be Willing, and live your best life?

I look forward to reading about your actions moving forward.

Good luck

Chris.