Hi all
I am 25 years old and today is the first day that it has really hit home that I have a gambling problem.
I started gambling when I was 18 and was probably slightly down for my first few years, maybe just a tenner a month. Then when I hit 21 and finished uni, I went on the dole. Within two weeks of being on the dole I had my first big win, 15k. I followed this up with other similar wins. My poision was poker. And not for a moment did I consider I might be developing a gambling problem. I was a successful gambler. The top end of my profit was about 40k at one point.
I lived off this success for a year or two, with my balance dwindling and the time playing poker also dwindling and also venturing into other things to gamble on. I bet on golf, reasonably successfully and then started betting on just about anything, which is where it went to pot.
About two months ago, I got myself a new job, less pay, but better prospects, so I went for it. It meant having to relocate and get used to a new wage packet/gambling fund. Now 4 years on from my big wins and having jobs along the way, my bank balance finally reached nil pois, so I lent 2k from my dad to make the move and allow me to not have financial worries while I start my new job. Very kind of him, even if it did get a lot of abuse and questions of where is my own money.
So obviously that 2k disappeared, and my girlfriend is the only person who does know how much I gamble, she has took it upon herself to try to help me, and almost forcing her help on me. If i had it my way I probably would have attempted to take out a loan by now, but now I am in the hole to her for £1600. P**f, gone.
Things weren't going my way, so I went onto my online banking, and found out how remarkably easy it is to extend an overdraft. So my £200 overdraft turned into a £3370 overdraft. P**f, gone. £3 charges a day I might add, brilliant.
So tonight, it all hit me, I got £100 up to £800, betting on horses and live football. I only learnt the different between a colt and a gelding a week ago, and here I am betting tons on horses when I am 6k in debt. I lost the 800 obviously. Forgot to mention something similar happened the night before, I put £1k on a football match, over 2.5 goals. Went to bed, woke up, that was gone. Phoned in sick to my new job because I was shaking, the stress was really getting to me. Anyway, I am digressing. My girlfriend lent me another 400 this evening, under the promise I would make it last until payday and wouldnt gamble it, I even told her that I had locked myself out of my account so that I can't gamble. I can't explain why I lied. I never lie to her about anything. And I can't explain why I put that 400 back in tonight, even though I had no intention of doing it. It only sat in my bank account for about 5 seconds.
It is safe to say I feel like I am at rock bottom right now. For the first time since I started I can acknowledge I have a problem. But I also have another problem. I need money right now, I need it so that I don't have to stress about debt and so I can focus on my new job and not focus on how I am going to eat this week. I shouldn't have been calling in sick today. I have a problem. I don't know what to do. I think I know where to start. Me and gambling are over. I can get back the money I lost, but I can never get back those hours I lost. I am 25 but I look about 35. It is taking it's toll on me. The sleepless nights in casinos, the ecstascy of the big wins, and the anxiety of the big losses. We are done. But I really don't know what to do now. I need to get out of this hole. I can't survive to payday, rent goes out just before. I don't know who to turn to.
Hi. first of all download a blocker install it on your PC / laptop(s). You can get a 28 day trial of one for free here : http://www.plevna.f9.co.uk/block-gambling-with-txnogam.htm
secondly, contact your landlord / agency, tell him that you need to change the payment date of your monthly rent to the end of the month (payday), starting this month. You don't need to go into any detail, tell them to expect an increased / adjusted amount at the end of the month (adjusted for the few extra days pro rata). When you get paid, pay the rent first before anything! If need be, cancel the direct debit via your online banking & set one up again for payday.
Consider handing over your finances including all cards to your girlfriend, best that you fess up to what you've recently done. Tell her you really do have a problem. Ask her to give you a daily small amount to live on. If that's not possible, ask your dad.
If you would remember the 3 digit code on the back of the cards when betting online so would still be able to deposit, ring up your bank / card company & tell them you lost your wallet with all your cards, need to report them lost. that way you don't need to go into any detail. when the new ones arrive, give the sealed envelopes to your gf.
Later consider keeping any funds in cash at home rather than in a digital form which enables you to deposit online. No funds, or overdraft available = no ability to gamble online.
" I can get back the money I lost". This is BS! This is one of the things that drives you to continue gambling. You were just very lucky to begin with you've falsely learned by conditioning that gambling = winning, so you will keep at it expecting the big win again, like a conditioned pigeon (Skinner psych experiment) who was initially rewarded with a pellet after pecking on a lever, then stopped getting the pellets, but still pecked away like a loony pigeon even more frantically than before, wanting its pellet. That's how the betting sites view you, a conditioned, brainwashed, addicted mug primed for them to fleece.
So forget about the idea of making money through gambling . see www.gamblingfactsandfictions.com . (before you install the blocker). Your money's gone forget it. Just don't gamble anymore. At all.
hi spurs
like you i finally realised today that my days of gambling are over, ever since my first big win i was hooked on roullette and other slot machines. from what went from just over 1k winnings to me being in nearly 3k debt and im only 22!. i gave up the roullette due to wasting a fortune and now i bet only on football but even that has taken a grip on me and if iv lost control of it. my gf has bailed me out of debt before and within 2/3 months i was straight back where she pulled me from and now im heading in the same direction, iv gambled since i was 18 won then lost and lost and lost just like everyone else, after all those months of gambling and losing money the main thing i have almost lost is friends and family due my selfishness and lying something i never intended but realised its exactly what i have done, hurt everyone around me.
tonight for the first time i self excluded myself from all betting websites and closed them all down, i downloaded a website control so that i cant even get access to the betting websites, suppose its a start but its on me to stick to the plan and not give in to bet.
Hi Spurs. Sorry to hear about your current situation. Maybe creating a diary on here would help. It helped me when I was trying to dig out of a hole and it worked quite well. It can focus the mind.
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