I posted once before back in 2012 when I originally tried to stop which now seems like a lifetime ago.
A bit about my story;
Even thought I started gambling back at Uni I never really developed a problem until starting work. You know what they say more money more problems! Gambling now seems to have become such a huge part of my life that I am frankly s**t scared about quitting because what am I going to do on weekend and most nights for that matter.
I've slowly built up debts of around £30k gambling any spare money I had each month but it has come to a head recently after a friend asked me to organise his stag do. I ended up using some of the funds others had sent me for this trip to gamble then took out a series of payday loans to continue to gamble (I can't for the life of me understand how I could take out £3000 in payday loans in a week but thats another gripe). It wasn't until I sat down last night and worked out the financial effect of this that I finally realised I had hit a real low point. I worked out that I basically wouldn't have another penny for the next four months and consequently would not have been able to ensure this stag went ahead. Needless to say I felt physically sick and absolutely disgusted with myself. How can I be so repeatedly stupid. I have always been able to ignore my gambling because I told myself it was only effecting me. I could not sleep as the thought of my friend finding out seemed too much to contemplate so I put this all down in an email and sent it to my dad, explaining and asking if he would consider lending me the money to get myself out of this mess. Thankfully he has been pretty understanding and has said he will help.
I have self excluded myself from every bookmaker I have used and passed over all my credit cards and bank details to him.
However I am determined to fix the underlying issue whether that is through counselling or GA meetings. I know I need help I am just not sure I can handle the public forum just yet.
hi mate
thanks for posting and i absolute relate to so much you put down , its disguisting how low we can go , i have a baby due and a toddler and had a bit of a blow out , and ended up owing money for "stuff " and going totally mental on online roulette crazy sums not all loosing but the inability to stop too hard , luckily my mate was there and got my phone off me when i had £500 , next morning neded to go home and face the music but i live near city center and stupidly waled through the city and thought have a go on FOTB still drunk and gambling ravaged ,lost , cash point lost etc no more need to pay someone off dont matter played lost , imagine how it been since
anyways ur story echo,s mine , lets get blocks in place and keep supporting each other back to normal life
I feel so much better having told my dad. It just lifts such a weight off my shoulders knowing that I can talk to him and explain it. By doing so I realise what an idiot I have been. I will not start a diary until pay day as I feel like it's cheating currently.
Thanks for replying and I hope you also begin to turn it around.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
