How bad is my gambling?

Well I gues if u want to save best give up but if ur fine not saving and as u Sa don't chase ur losses and live within ur means then I gues if u love horse racing then carry on. But don't get tempted into chasing losses and living beyond ur means. My gambling started small and I'm sensible but yesterday I lost 300 pounds in two hours. I guess whether you can do it you'll never know for sure untill u look back I ten years time and think to yourself whether you would rather of spent the money on ur family or on ur love of the sport. Holidays verses gambling.

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Thanks for the advice,

In all honesty you’re probably right, it’s a lot of money spent without much to show for it but a bit of past enjoyment. I’m just getting to a point where I’m confused as to whether or not this is a passion for horse racing or a gambling addiction that’s just focused itself on one sport.

But you’re right in ten years time I’d probably have wished I went on those holidays rather than spending time and money focusing on attempting to pick winners. I love it at the time but when I reflect upon how much I’ve lost and the things I could have done with the money I, and my partner, start to beat myself up about it.

Sorry if it was a bit of daft question and thanks for taking the time to answer!

Hi Bailey,

I was a similar case to yourself as a single man, I worked all my twenties and most of my thirties and although I paid my bills and did not get into debt due to gambling I never had anything to show for it as all my funds went on goaing out and gambling. I would justify it to myself and to others as I loved gambling and the whole social side of things. It was not until I had resposability of a family to look after did I go off the rails and hit rock bottom. The reason for it was I was addicted to gambling, I could stop for weeks on end but I would always go back. Iwould try and set budgets to my gambling but when my bets lost which was more often that not (as it is for everyone otherwise the bookies would be broke rather than part of a multi billion pound industry) I would get a knot in my stomach if I thought I could not get another bet on while their were still matches or races on. It sounds like deep down you know you have an issue as you can see how better off financially you would be if you gambled. There is a self assesment tool in this site here http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/self-assessment-tool , answere honsetly and not what you think will get a good outcome. Well done for reaching out whatever happens.

Hi Joe,

Thanks for your reply.

I can definitely emphasise with what you've said about having nothing to show for my gamblind and having no savings. I'm in my mid twenties now and although I'm coping financially I can imagine that might not be the case if I had the extra responsibilities of a family etc which probably indicates that I should take more responsibility over my gambling and spending habits. Thanks for sharing the self-assesment tool, it does state that I'm showing early signs of a gambling addiction and in all honesty it's probably what has brought me here in the first place.

The real issue I'm having is that I really wouldn't want to give up being involved in horse racing in some form. I've grown up attending the races and go at every opportunity and the absolute dream would be to own a race horse one day. In the end I guess if I am unable to seperate gambling from the sport there shouldn't be much of a debate and that should be that. I'm on a short time-out with my all of my online bookies for now to focus on work but I'm off to Paris for the Arc in October which could present a bit more of a struggle ...

Thank you for taking the time to respond, what you've said definitely helps!

Cheers

Hi Bailey1992.

Welcome to the forum and you are in the right place.

Its a question we dont want to face but a reality check is needed. The addiction will delude us for years or decades that everything is sort of ok when it clearly isnt.

How bad it gets is your bank statement showing the truth. Its the pained look on a partners face as the news comes out. To a non gambler you wont be able to rationalise it in any way and your story will sound crazy....however you have to get those words out to save any quality of life.

we were all in denial and I dont know of anybody that joins here that wasnt confused and in denial. That is because its a dangerous addiction which fools you and splits the mind. To a gambler it all starts to make a crazy sense...we are going to win and its coming tomorrow...my lucky clover is coming this week because I can feel it

The reality is that it is an illness and no matter how many times we gambled to extinction we came back for more punishment. Its not a money earning scheme in that sense and its not a get it back later scheme. If your work boss decided to pay you on a spin of the dice you would rightly be very annoyed but we all thought lady luck was going to shine.

We advise a born again moment of honesty as you face this. Its a nasty addiction and can not be tackled with just a bit of willpower.

The money is relative and becomes secondary to the feelings of playing. If it becomes a financial problem its a dangerous problem. Some people lose 50 million and some lose £100 down the pub...its the same problem and the addiction creates a comfort zone until its too late and you lose everything.....marriages homes, friends and lives!

I see a tendency in your post to play it down slightly with " a bit" ...all bills are paid...Ive seen that hundreds of times but it doesnt mean you dont have a serious problem. Thats because we think we are adults and the whole thing confuses us. With strong blocks you may well need to be living on a sandwich allowance as your mind heals.

When you learn about the power of this addiction it can rise at any time given half a chance.

Deep breaths and start thinking about the basics...do you love the horse racing or is it the punt that drives it. Your relationship with money has been soured by addiction and its just about thinking in a new and healthy way again

Please keep reading the forum and get involved. Its not about treating you like a baby...its about recovering from this addiction. You either carry on down and down or you get a new sense of gamble free pride

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

It sounds that you deep down know you have an issue but your love for the sport is what makes you refuse to really engage with taking action as you know both really go hand in hand. Its like playing poker for matches or something else other than money, its not the same without the edge/risk when money is involved. My advice would be completly honest with yourself, contact the comapanies you gamble with and request account history totals for deposits withdrawals and turnover (total money you gambled). It can be eye watering if you have a problem but a great exercise (btw bookies try and fob you off as they sometiems dont want to give out this info).

The golden rule of gambling is to only bet what you can afford to lose, you should be able to set a strict budget each month, the budget should also include money to save etc and not just bills and you should work it out with your partner. If you can stick to this then there is no issue like all others who gamble, if you struggle to stick to it then you have an issue like myself and other compulsive gamblers and need to get real help. make no mistake this issue will eventually take over your life.