Hi everyone,
I am currently 111 days into my journey and feeling strong.
However, I am currently feeling a lot of frustration and a mix of feelings that I can't work out right now.
My younger brother is an unidentified gambling addict, and after years of noticing his behaviours - I finally managed to get him to open up and hear from his mouth that he has problems with money...but he doesn't want to say the words 'gambling problem' because it is associated to me.
Over the last 7 days I have invested quite a lot of emotional time into listening and sharing my own experiences on how I started my journey with him - and it's made him sit up and realise that he doesn't want to do it in the future himself. However, he is very reluctant to join GamCare because he feels confident enough that he doesn't need it.
From getting my own gambling counselling help to support my journey, I have learnt how important it is to put structures in place to prevent a re-lapse. I have experienced that 'confidence' to say "I won't do it again..." before then hitting a low mood and finding myself back at square one.
Trying to cut a long story short here - What can I do that will encourage my brother to seek support from professionals and other experienced people?
He is using me as his counsellor for the past 7 days, but I can't emotionally handle it any further. I believe he would benefit from signing up to the gamcare counselling or even attending the chatrooms to have discussions with strangers that know how it also feels.
I sense I am annoyed because of the fact that I used to be THAT person who would be reluctant to proper help.
Hello @azzabazza,
Firstly, congratulations and well done on your 111 day milestone without gambling. You should be very proud of the progress you have made and the dedication you are putting into your recovery.
It sounds like your brother's gambling is beginning to impact you emotionally, which is understandable. As I am sure you would concur it is sometimes extremely difficult for some people to acknowledge or see they have a gambling problem themselves and take that initial step to reach out for support. You are clearly there for him, however I would encourage you to ensure your own wellbeing doesn't suffer because of it as it sounds like it is taking a strain on you. As I am sure you are aware there is so much support for him, if and when he decides to make that step and take ownership of his own recovery.
Keep posting and sharing your inspiration to others.
Regards
Dan
Forum Admin
Thank you very much for your kind and supporting words Dan.
After writing my post out, I reflected on how I need to ensure I keep my own welfare as number one. It definitely got my emotions twisted up, but I have accepted that I have done a great job of making him aware of what is out there and the amazing benefits it has to offer support. It is his choice when/if he chooses to take that.
His behaviour patterns have signalled to me that he would benefit from counselling help, as he has used me as a real platform to offload/express himself. I can only manage a certain limit of that weight, and know that from my own experience talking to a professional who is there to listen and help offer tools would be the better option.
Frustrating as it is, I have told him that I can't maintain the same position if he won't take the extra help as I have to put myself first here.
Thanks again for listening.
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