Hello
I would like to tell my story and hear from any others who may have been in a situation similar.
I have always had trouble with gambling. However in 2021 after a big loss i made the decision to sign up to gamstop and banned myself from all online betting. I work at sea so restricting my online access really meant I could not gamble at all. For 2 years I did not even think about betting.
My mistake was to only sign up to gamstop for a year. About a year and a half ago I called them and asked them to remove my ban and I was free to gamble again online.
This is the biggest mistake of my life. Over a 3 month period I lost about 4 grand I had saved from my job. Rather than quit and ban myself again. I chased it and believe it or not I won it all back. This was the worse thing that could possibly happen.
After that I beleived no matter what I lost I could always win it back. I worked hard and got back earning and saving at the endnof last year but I was still gambling. Just before xmas I went on a winning run but since then it all went downhill.
I proceeded to lose £5,300 of my savings. I kept on having belief I could win it back however after a big loss on Tuesday I said enough was enough. I signed up again for gamstop this time for 5 years.
I have no debts from gambling fortunately and still have some savings. I have not lost everything but was heading that way if I continued.
Since banning myself I have felt relief and free but I have a contstant feeling of pain, regret and just a numbness. How long will this last I dont know?Â
I know if I focus and work I will recover all my losses through honest hard work. Still just cant shake this feeling of regret of losing money I worked so hard to earn.
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Being a compulsive gambler myself it would have hurt harder knowing I still had money to gamble and stopping then while I still had a chance to win it back. What you will realise is this rock bottom and mixture of emotional hurts a lot but it could be worse and there is always a new rock bottom. It’s fantastic you have come back after not putting yourself into debt and loosing all your savings.Â
I recently had a hard week myself from people at work constantly whistling all the time to wine me up and provoke a reaction out of me. I know they may not want me there but much like are gambling addiction we keep taking the pain and care not for it to stop. Seeking help and consoling in people who are like minded is the best course of action. Chatting to people on this site or GA meetings and relating with people with similar experiences helps a lot. Sadly I feel am running out of people to talk to at my work place but I am a bit of a genius at finding social solutions to un wanted behaviour. Managing it much like are addiction is best.
and on that note, you are doing great the pain after time will go away and more interesting things will come into your life and push back against the addiction if you are willing to continue doing.
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just remember what money has gone has gone and think about the future, the past is the past and it normally best to stay there for a better future.Â
take care
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dave101
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@dave101 thanks a lot for your reply.
It really feels like a weight being off my shoulders being able to talk to others who have been through the same and felt the wrath of gambling addiction.
Thank you for your encouragement. It does sting that I still could have chased and maybe won my money back but in the long run this would not be good. I feel pain and ashamed to lose money I worked hard to earn. I know right now it is still raw and should subside in time. Almost feels like grieving in a strange way.
On my latest losing streak, I could have banned myself much earlier. I logged into gamstop a few times but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I guess as a compulsive gambler I still had that belief I could always win it back.
It really was no way to live. I could not focus on anything and was distant, almost zombie like. My mind totally occupied by gambling.
I hope all is going ok for you. Together by talking and being part of community we can beat this.
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Yes gamstop is helpful, I remember renewing after 5 years and keeping my details updated, it’s worth it for the protection including banking blocking transactions and gam ban on my devices. I haven’t been in a bookies for years and don’t wish too because I know the pain. I am lucky to be where I am at the moment and grateful.
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Just for today I will not gambleÂ
dave101
@dave101 You sound like your doing a great job mate. Stay strong in work as well, don't let people get under your skin.
Online is definitely tough but if we have our blocks in place we can do it.
Have a nice, gamble free weekend 😃Â
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