How long till the pain and numbness goes away.

Hello

I would like to tell my story and hear from any others who may have been in a situation similar.

I have always had trouble with gambling. However in 2021 after a big loss i made the decision to sign up to gamstop and banned myself from all online betting. I work at sea so restricting my online access really meant I could not gamble at all. For 2 years I did not even think about betting.

My mistake was to only sign up to gamstop for a year. About a year and a half ago I called them and asked them to remove my ban and I was free to gamble again online.

This is the biggest mistake of my life. Over a 3 month period I lost about 4 grand I had saved from my job. Rather than quit and ban myself again. I chased it and believe it or not I won it all back. This was the worse thing that could possibly happen.

After that I beleived no matter what I lost I could always win it back. I worked hard and got back earning and saving at the endnof last year but I was still gambling. Just before xmas I went on a winning run but since then it all went downhill.

I proceeded to lose £5,300 of my savings. I kept on having belief I could win it back however after a big loss on Tuesday I said enough was enough. I signed up again for gamstop this time for 5 years.

I have no debts from gambling fortunately and still have some savings. I have not lost everything but was heading that way if I continued.

Since banning myself I have felt relief and free but I have a contstant feeling of pain, regret and just a numbness. How long will this last I dont know? 

I know if I focus and work I will recover all my losses through honest hard work. Still just cant shake this feeling of regret of losing money I worked so hard to earn.