Hi, obviously my subject title will not be new here but I wasn't sure which topic to join. We've just discovered that my nephew/Godson/mate has a problem that he's struggling to admit to. I'm trying to get him to 'come out' as it were. I want him to tell others of our circle of friends. Should I tell them or wait until he's ready to do so himself?
Hi, Qdog, it is nothing short of admirable that you are trying to help your nephew/Godson/mate. There are not many details in your post, so I am just going to presume he is really in debt, really depressed and in denial. Sadly, and I can only talk from my own prospective, when I was like this I would disregard anyone trying to help me. Not that many wanted anyway as I was perfect in hiding it. What I would probably suggest is you try gently but don't push if you see resistance, he is likely not ready and you can only take with force not give. Wish you all the best in the long journey ahead. Just be there for him.
Hi Qdog.
Its a difficult situation but what you can do is mention it and keep mentioning that gambling is not acceptable. Now the problem is that you cant cure him and he has to be ready to stop himself.
You can help on your terms and again is difficult but the circle of friends must protect themselves and keep up with mentioning that gambling environments are bad. I dont think you can keep this information to yourself but it has to be mentioned to others in a diplomatic way
Gambling could easily cost this man friendships. It ruins people and to be very blunt it kills people.
A TV star said you can mention it but you cant beat yourself up about it. Protect your money and no subs or loans are to be given to this person.
A gambling addiction is extremely dangerous. Its difficult as you have to distance yourself to reinforce that its not acceptable but you dont want this person spiralling into loneliness and further depression. This person has to get the message that your circle of friends dont find it acceptable and maybe it will cause him to think about his gambling behaviour.
Whether you should tell others is up to you. I dont know the situation but I would tend to think a quiet word could help. My view is that its a problem that should be mentioned to the right people.
Best wishes
Thanks all, I'm taking him to a GA meeting tonight. I hope he opens up there and realises he's not the only one and can't keep his head stuck in the sand. I'll wait outside and try not to pry too much after, but hope he then wants to go again by himself.
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