How to stop?

Hi.

Sorry about your troubles.  Having a loss of impulse control is not very nice. I know I have been there too. I was lucky to have a support network that could take over my economy until I could get some help for my troubles. Are you in that position today? Can you get someone to look after your economy? The reason I am asking is this. Sometimes, in the beginning, it can be almost impossible to get your head around stopping when you get paid. Your triggers and impulses totally overwhelm your critical faculty( Ability to say yes or no) and of you go down the gambling road again and after doing this a few times you need to chase losses etc so the feeling gets cemented. 

If you have a family member or partner that can help you with holding on to your economy for a while then you should definitely do this as it will help you get back on the right road. If you do not have this support then you need to get your gambling blockers into place as they will make it harder for you to play online. In fact, why not do both now when you know that there is a problem. The whole idea is to get as far from the gambling as you can for you and your kid's sake. 

Ask the counsellors here for help. They are great and can lead you in the right direction. 

Realise that there are no quick fixes to this solution just long recoveries so the faster you STOP the sooner you will start to see those results you need.

For things to change YOU have to change. For things to get better YOU have to get better. There are no magic people with tonnes of cash going to solve your problems only you can do it. So stand up and be strong for your kids. This place is full of people that have managed to get better. Take strength and inspiration from them to help yourself on your journey.

I wish you all the best

C

Hi kerry. The reason why you 'cave in ' is because this is an addiction. I totally understand when it comes to your children you feel a failure and that's a hard feeling to deal with. Ultimately those feelings will keep you gambling , the best thing that you can do for you and your children is to get better and into recovery. Have you spoken to the Gamcare advisors they are brilliant and will help you find a way to get through this. There are lots of things that we as forum users can advise you of as well if you are wanting to stop this cycle you are in. Let us know. Best wishes

Thank you for the reply. Yes my husband could take care of things... we have done it in the past but then I say I'm strong enough and he lets me take over again. 

I could easily tell him if I have an urge but... if I do that he'll stop me and in that moment I want to gamble :/

I've put the blockers in place but I'm going to get him to change the passwords so I can't remove them this needs to stop.

How do I talk to the advisors?

Hi Kerry, 

Thank you for posting on the Forum. It sounds like you are having a difficult time right now, but i am glad to read you have put some blocks in place. I am sure some of our other members will be able to offer you some support here too. 

Great to hear you would like to speak to an adviser, it sounds like this could be very beneficial to you. You can do this by calling the HelpLine on 0808 8020 133 or by using our Livechat option. The advisers are available 24/7.

For now, 

Keep posting and take care. 

Rebecca, 

Forum Admin. 

Hi Kerry, as a mum I wanted to reply to your post, I’ve been in your position quite recently and it’s hard when you are in that moment of wanting to gamble! Something is triggering your urges! I don’t know what that may be, my triggers were/are my sons special needs and feeling inadequate as a mum, my youngest going to secondary school and therefore not needing me so much, being lonely and stuck at home! 
if you can try to sit down and think about what you’re feeling in that moment of wanting to gamble! Ie are you and husband arguing or the kids playing up or stressed from work/chores etc.

the best self exclusion is gamstop and also you may need a bit of counselling or therapy! I found that getting the addiction of my chest by talking to my husband and mum were also great helps! 

You are not the only person who suffers from this terrible addiction! The addiction will have you think you’re evil and a bad person that’s to make you carry on the destructive behaviour so your brain gets the release of the ‘feel good’ chemicals you get from gambling! You’re right it is a horrible cycle but keep on gambling and it will get much much worse! You will see benefits of stopping quite quickly and the money you are saving will start to build up! 
I wish you all the best in your journey! Be strong and try your hardest! 
jadie xx

Hi thank you for your message... we are quite similar my oldest son has special needs and is becoming quite challenging and my daughter is starting secondary school September. 

I have talked it over with my hubby and he is amazing so supportive and still here! ( which I wouldn't blame him if he did have enough and walk away)

I have installed gamban and it's better than I thought I can't even uninstall it (i tested to make sure for when I have the urge)

Xx

Hi Kerry i2105.

The only way is to bring out the big measures so you enforce an abstention and do the cold turkey as you mind starts to heal.

You must tell people close to you..several people if possible and have your wages paid to someone else who can monitor you.

Its a born again moment and you must start to focus that its not an income scheme or a way out. It cant be on those odds and once you have blown your money its not really a get it back later scheme either.

Once it got into your bones you crave it just like a smoker reaches for the next cigarette. Another part of your brain wants the money back and it ignores the reality and the odds.

If its the machines you were playing you need to understand the real odds which start at about 1 in 10 to win 50p...on those odds they will fleece you all day and all year round...rest of your life if you continue

Once you break the vicious circle you can start to heal. A pound is a pound and you will keep it in your pocket.

Gambling was never the answer. Its a drug addiction and a tax on hope. Life isnt fair and it canb get tough but you strive for a peace of mind.

The answers are within you. Are you trying to escape your feelings because thats why many people give gambling a go. Unfortunately its designed to be highly addictive and there is no shame on admitting it got the better of you.

Your life will be better gamble free and you will have control of your life back

Best wishes from everyone on the forum