Hi All
I started gambling on and off since my teens and never really won anything or lost anything either and would go months at a time without even thinking about it. Then it all went wrong this year! I am 33 now. I was off work for a few months with a medical condition and I was feeling down and thought it was just something to do as I laid in bed some days, I started to play online slot machines and suddenly I had won £10,000 and that was my down fall! But then I lost nearly all of it but I assured myself I could get it back (big mistake) I maxed my credit cards, increased my overdraft and even took out a loan and before I knew it I was 30,000 in debt.
I could then think about nothing else and could see no way out I wanted to tell my partner and family but couldn't get the words out, and then I got paid and lost all my wages within hours which meant nothing left to pay my half of the bills! All I could think about was dying and ended up slitting both my wrists, I don't think I wanted to die really but it meant I had to tell people why! (so selfish I know) Which I did and partner helped me sort things out he paid the bills that month and gave me the money to pay minimum card payments etc. to avoid charges and I vowed I would never do it again.
But then a few months later I lost all my wages again and started taking out payday loans to try and win it all back which of course I didn't! And I had to tell my partner but seeing the pain and disappointment on his face devastated me, this time he ended up taking out a loan so I could pay off all the payday loans and again I said it would never ever happen again, I wish I had the courage to of told him how bad my problem was but I couldn't, and he swore that if it happened again he would leave.
But it did, so here I am now with no money in the bank and well over my overdraft, card payments and house hold bills not paid (they come out of my account) the council tax is on the final demanded, the only thing I did pay was the rent this month thank god! So I have taken out more payday loans and lost all that money also, so many in fact I cant even remember all the companies I have used!
And now I don't know how to tell him its going to destroy him 🙁 and this time he wont be able to help, and I properly will lose him but how can I blame him after what I have and am going to put him through! I love him so much he is the best thing that has ever happened to me and the kindest person I have ever met, doubt my life will be worth living without him 🙁 But every day I leave it things are getting worse.
After my Dad found out the first time he told me, 'Richard if you carry on you will lose everything' never has a truer word been said!
Sorry this is so long I had to get it out
Hi Richard 1st things 1st well done for coming on here and admitting you need help. Obviously I cant advise on your partner thats something you will need to deal with and I wish you well. 1 things for sure your dad is right as you know and like most on here we have all done it and know what your going thru. Try and get to a ga meeting if you can cos trust me they work if you want them too. Every day you dont gamble is a good day and in time the financial mess will get better and its the only way it will get better. Gambling will just make it worse god forbid you prob dont think it can get worse but it will as there is only 1 winner in gambling and it is only them. Give control of your wages to someone else and then you cant gamble it put every single barrier in place that you can to prevent you from having access to funds and in time you will get stronger and be able to kick this disease into touch. Good luck mate.
I think you need to tell your partner asap and face the consequences of your current debt, this means NO bailouts from your loved ones, you know it will just bring more pain in the end. I hope things get better. I think you need to ignore the debts and get to a debt charity to manage all your debtors and your cashflow situation
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