I am £600 in debt

Hi Steve400, welcome to the Forum,

It is all relative my friend - I lost £350,000 in twenty years of gambling before stopping around six years ago; others have lost a lot more, others have lost a lot less; we are all the same, spending money we don't have.

I am not a Doctor, but when I was gambling, I was depressed, had social anxiety (and still do to a certain extent), anxious, had insomnia and I rarely ate or slept well. Since stopping, I have none of those things (apart from a lesser amount of SAD) - your problems are clearly more severe and my heart goes out to you for that, but there can be no doubt that gambling increases these feelings to an almost unbearable level.

I understand how you feel - time is the only thing that can get your equilibrium back on a more even keel; your mind is racing at the moment and your thoughts are consumed by this afflcition; it takes time to think more clearly, it takes time to cleanse it and be able to think rationally and clearly; these urges are only temporary, they soon pass - the more you work through, the stronger you will become in time.

I thought exactly the same as you about GA, and I still don't approve on the religious overtones, but I don't regret going, and it was different to how I imagined - you can sit at the back of the hall and watch without getting involved if you want; the best thing about it is seeing other people, from all walks of life, speaking about what they are going through - you can't get that anywhere else; part of what you are going through comes from self-recrimination and self-loathing - GA is very liberating, and it makes you feel like you don't have to be alone in this, whether you are spiritual or not. I would go with and open mind, see how you feel - it has helped a lot of people stop, and that is the bottom line my friend, it may just help you take that next step up the ladder.

Draw a line under the money my friend. It is gone, there is nothing you can do to get it back again. This may be hard on you, so try thinking about the future instead of what has gone before; you can't change it, but you certainly have a hand in your future - your illnesses compromise a lot of things but not everything; what do you want from your future? What do you truly want to do with your life? Are there small steps that you can take to tackling these mental conditions yourself?

Try to be positive my friend - gambling will only serve to push you over the edge; you have enough difficulties, you don't need to be losing precious time and money too. Forget about anything and everything else - think about you, think about where you are headed - you come across as a decent, intelligent person - there are always options regardless of any predicament; if you see the film "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly", it is a true story about a man with "locked-in" syndrome whose only possible movement is to blink with one eye; from this, he writes books and novels, and becomes the toast of the literary world.

Don't let this affliction define your life my friend - that £600 is a blow, but what a magnificent investment in your future it would be if you never gambled again. Make it mean something; you have bigger hurdles to jump than most, but you can get there, you really can.

JamesP

Thanks for that reply, James.

I will work towards going to a GA meeting at some point. As long as I can sit at the back and just listen the first couple of times. I just wish I could sleep for six weeks by which time my bank account will have enough money in it and I can start to repay my debts, or some of them. But unfortunately I wake each morning feeling terrible and stressed. Then there is a whole day ahead of me.

Were you in debt or was that your own money?

I just made an appointment with my doctor for Monday morning to see if I can get something to help me sleep.

You're very welcome Steve400, no problem at all,

No-one will force you to interract; just go with an open mind and see how you feel.

The £350,000 was a combination or wages, savings and borrowing from family, friends and every line of credit I could possibly get.

I used to feel the same, sometimes I wanted to just curl up into a ball and hope I could get through to the next time I had money. This is why it is important to think about the future - focus will give you a reason to get up in the morning; since stopping, I write, sing, take exercise, go hiking, do charity work and so much more - these things take little or no money, and it gives me a reason to get through the day. Being in your situation and having your conditions makes that much harder, but as I said, you still have options, you could still make good use of these six weeks.

Living with these conditions must take great strength my friend - if you can find a way of channelling that strength into getting through this and taking a different direction in life, then you have everything to gain.

JamesP