"My life completely turned around."
Greetings, brothers.
I want to talk and open up about what's inside me, hoping it might stop me from doing something reckless.
I’m a 35-year-old man, married and a father to a handsome, beautiful 4-year-old boy. Since I was 18, I’ve worked hard and diligently until I was able to buy a house, a car, and live a wonderful life while saving money.
A year and a half ago, I entered the world of sports betting — just to try it out. I had never been involved in this dark world before, and I wish I never had. But soon after, it became an obsession.
Today, I find myself having lost over *** — and in my Arab country, that’s a sum that could guarantee financial stability for more than ten years, and then some.
I don’t know where I’ll end up or how this will end.
I deleted my betting app account and decided never to return to it, but I keep thinking about my losses and how stupid I was to fall victim to this dark world.
I always feel like I’m the only idiot in the world. Every time I lost, I would bet double to make up for it — and I kept spiraling into the same cycle.
I still have some savings, and thank God I have no debt. I still own my house and car.
But I constantly think about my losses. The last thing I think about before sleep and the first thing on my mind when I wake up is the size of my loss.
I suffer from insomnia now. I keep thinking about the money I lost, the mental state I’ve destroyed, and the time I wasted over the past year and a half playing.
I can't believe I was the one betting — it’s like I was disconnected from the world for a year and a half.
Please help me.
I consider myself a failure and feel extremely hopeless. I feel like I’ve let down my wife, my child, my family — and myself. I’m no longer the person I used to be a year and a half ago.
My joyful spirit is gone. My enjoyment of life is gone.Â
Every time I think about the money that’s gone and all the things I could’ve bought with it, my pain deepens.
Please, I’m begging you — help me...
Hi,Â
Firstly, well done for coming on here and opening up. It’s a very hard and brave thing to do.
The steps you need to take:
Get every block possible in place, triple lock the doors, don’t leave anything to chance.Â
Talk to loved ones? Or at least one person? Your wife? The addiction wants you to keep secrets and to lie, but they all will come out in the end.
Hand over financial control if you feel having access to money is a big trigger for you?Â
Get some professional help, talk, talk and talk some more. You are absolutely not alone. Take a look at Gordon Moody, they offer counselling and retreats - the best thing I did!Â
I gambled all day and everyday for 4-5 years and ran up HUGE debt, took out debts in my husband’s name without him knowing, but almost 22 months ago I hit rock bottom and it was the best thing that could have happened to me. I’m currently 645 days gamble free.Â
You’re stronger than you think, you can do this. You won’t ever get your losses back, you much forget about them all. The more you think about the loss, the more it will send you right back there to chase them. Eventually, a compulsive gambler could bet the price of a house, win double and will still want more.Â
Take care and be kind to yourself, this is an illness you’re battling.Â
Claire x
Won’t let me edit my post!!
***price of houseÂ
***must forget about lossesÂ
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