Here goes...
I'm desperate. I've just blown nearly 5k on an online site. I developed this problem gambling during my honeymoon would you believe, in Australia. I'd never even played a d**n pokie machine before and if i could turn back time and never walk into that place or have been anywhere else in the world, i would like a shot. Initially it was a bit of fun, and initially i won, but a couple of wins turned into loss after loss after loss. I foolishly convinced myself that once we came home it would be okay, that with no machines like those i wouldn't become addicted. This just transferred itself into blackjack/other machines. casinos/onine casinos/bingo/fruit machines, i've done them all. I'm now 20k in the red, this latest binge was madness, i'm at work FFS! I just kicked myself for not taking the money when i'd been up a bit but i know in truth i should kick myself for playing in the first instance, for letting my wife down, my family down. myself down. I can't count the number of times i've cried, gone to bed feeling like i want it all to be a bad dream, i want to stop more than anything, but no matter how many times i try i just come back for more like an idiot. Even now, if i could get more money, i'd try and recover my losses, my wife knows most of it, she's my one true glimmer of light, i love her more than anything else on this earth but i keep letting her down time and again, if it continues i'll lose her, i know that. And i can't live without her...I want this to be it, i've applied for a loan to clear everything and start afresh, i think i need some help though to stop.
This is my story anyway. I'm going to look around the site for anything useful.
Hi I'm pleased your reaching out for help. Please hand over all finance to your wife. Make sure that loan goes where it should and not gamble it. You need to place blocks on all gadgets, self exclude. Find a GA meeting and a gamanon for your wife. I'm wife of cg and never in my wildest dreams did I think it would end in so much debt, lies and worry. Don't gamble today, that's the only day that you can deal with! Get support and advice, call gamcare and go on live chat later. Don't think this is a phase, gambling will destroy you and your loved ones if you let it.
Welcome to the forum,
You'll find a lot of good advice on here and most if it more qualified than my own.
However, there is one important thing I will share (from experience). Quitting gambling off the back of a big loss is very much like a drinker saying "I'm never drinking again" the morning after. At the moment you are still feeling the 'hangover' from your big loss and gambling is probably the last thing you want to do. HOWEVER, that feeling will fade and the pain from the loss will ease and this will be the biggest test.
Use the motivation you have now to get a solid plan in place with real blocks (self-exclusions, blockers, limit your access to money etc) as the 'is wasn't that bad' mentality may well creep back in. I 'attempted' to quit several times after big losses and the reason I put 'attempted' in inverted commas is because I wasn't committed. It's important that you want to stop GAMBLING and not just stop LOSING.
Good luck and, trust me, your life WILL be so much better without it.
Phil
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
