Hello all,
I've known ive had a gambling problem for a few years, but the last few months have been really bad and I don't want to be and feel like this anymore.
My husband found out a few months ago just how much I was gambling online. He told me to stop or we would be over. So I started hiding my gambling addicts, paying through paypal so it wouldn't show up on the bank statement which site it was. Deleting computer history, lying about money etc. He found out and I can't beleive how good he has been. He said he thinks I have a gambling problem (which I know) and he will stick by me and support me. He has been reading online about how he can.
I don't really know how to start though. The constant urge to deposit is ridiculous. I deposit money daily, if I don't win I put more on, if I do I put some on another site. I feel awful at the end of the day thinking how much I have lost.
I've rang the freephone number on here and am awaiting a call back.
Hi. I hope that you get a call back from the freephone you called... it'll feel so good to talk to someone. Thanks for sharing and coming to this place where we all understand. tara2
Thank you. I was so tempted to deposit just one more time. So ive been through all the sites ive used and have self excluded. I feel thats a start.
Hi
Mr L is the recovering CG in the house. I have control of everything financial up to and including access to his credit reports and opening his post. Savings and major assets are bought and held in my sole name. K9 blocker and individual passwords are installed on household computers. It's all about reassurance for the other half. It's a lot for your husband to absorb and process so answer his questions honestly and patiently and take any angry outbursts on the chin.
There will be a lot of advice here for you about preventing your access to gambling. You will also need to identify and address the underlying issues driving you to gamble. Gamcare offer free counselling to that end and attending GA means you can access help and support from people who 'get it' in a way non gamblers never will.
Hi Trina,
Well done on seeking help, and its good to hear you have the support of your partner which will be a huge help in your recovery. The bottom line in you are a compulsive gambler, this is not something you can change or cure in the same way an alcoholic is for life. Our lives become unmanageable due to gambling as this is our drug of choice, this is what cause the anxious feeling in us to deposit more and more and even if we have a big win its never enought and we simply cannot stop.
I recommend attending your local GA meeting and makeing part of you weekly routine as you combat your addiction, it will be mostly male attndees but dont let this put you off, eveyone there are fellow compulsive gamblers whose advice is invaluable. There you will learn about the 12 step program and how it can help you in your recovery from this addiction.
If you dont have access to money you cant gamble so this is a huge barrier to put up but a vital one. This will vary in severity,(some people dont have bank cards or cash or any form of finacial control) as we compulsive gamblers tend to lie about access to funds so its vital your open and honest with your partner from the start.
With my partner we have a joint bank account for which we both have a card and full access, my wages get paid in here and she can see every transaction, if im going to the shop I keep reciepts to show im not getting cash back etc. She also has access to my Credit Report, these are handy tools as they will show up any credit cards or loans we have, in my case I use to get pay day loans to hide my losses. I know some of this can seem extreme and lots of people resist it (and partners who dont fully understand the situation also resent having to do it) but this is such a huge help in recovery as without funds we simply cannot gamble and this makes it really hard to do so. With the compulsion you will get urges and if it was easy to do you would give in more often than not, but with barriers in place your are simply making it as hard as possible and similar to anger management if you can resist the urge for a period of time and focuus on something else it will help you.
I hope this makes sense, like I said get to your local GA meeting asap and good luck with your recovery
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